Learn to Learn then Learn to Teach

learning how to learn
was invaluable at uni a few years ago
peaks and troughs
breaks
running with it for hours
and accepting nothings going in at certain times

it began with learning to read the big book
read it and keep reading even though
I think its not going in...
and being suprised when eventually
it starts to seep out
incoherently and then coherently
wanting it and working for it...

yet now its another area
or is it two at the same time
I have had an insight
a vision for me if you would
and now its my job
to work towards it
sometimes quickly sometimes slowly

now i am learning how to teach
learning how to lead
learning how to sing
and learning how to study
and learning how to preach
and learning how to play
and learning how to accept who I am
and learning how to accept
the person I am becoming

sexuality

you knew all along
i'm afraid to speak
denying who I am
yet You say I can feel
you say You want me to feel
yet why do I find it so hard
to let go and be completely free
and say how it is
when you know all along
because you feel like this too
in this position I choose
yet so unsure what I can say
finding appropriate intimacy
in touch with my sexuality
we go our separate ways
no regrets
we are all children of God
knitted together
in imperfect perfectness
finding a second soul
who is unafraid
self control
coming at it with need
coming at it whilst running away
coming at it whilst finding yourself
amongst the debris of your life
intimacy with boundaries
love in its purest form
dont make it into something
it is not
or that it cannot be
not with me
our needs are not the same today
with the choices we made separately
trust that Love is
the Greatest Power on the earth
in Love we can be free
finding and feeling my sexuality
stepping backwards denying who I am
yet stepping into it with grace
trusting timing
idolatory sexuality
mmmm mmmm mmm mmmmmm
mission in this life
to be free to serve others
yet stuck inside and stuck outside
where is the common ground
where is the point of need
finding the point of need to meet
to know God, not left wondering
to make a choice
to know or not
investigate or not
the rooms are so empty
the doors have been closed for so long
exclusion was too easy
a few verses
spoken without Love
slammed the doors shut
slammed the doors shut
leaving the outside out and the inside in
uncomfortable
in the uncomfortable zone
of no common ground
Spirit show us how we do this now

must be a song i there somewhere.... :)