In the Spirit of Service

I was reminded today

When I do chairs - I carry a message
When I write songs - I carry a message
When I do a sermon - I carry a message
When I walk out the door - I carry a message
When I speak to someone - I carry a message

The outcome is none of my business

If I am doing it in the spririt of service
to HP God as I understand Him

The outcome is none of my business

I hear what I need to hear
You hear what you need to hear

Like reading the big book
Like reading the Bible
Like reading someones Blog
Like watching reruns of Friends

Each time you re read - rewatch
I hear something different maybe
On any given day
It speaks differently to me

When you offer me a suggestion
depending on my mood when I hear it
affects the way I receive it

Give it me again tomorrow
I may receive it differently

You give the saem suggestion
to someone else
they may receive it completely differently
they may apply it immediately
they may pass it on to someone else
they may remember it for another time

Carry the message
not the alcoholic

Give it away to keep it
whatever it is you have been freely given
in the spirit of service

then
Let Go and Let God

:)

My conscience is telling me...

I need to go to a meeting
with the intention of being useful...

Give freely of what you have been given...

It doesnt say
reap the rewards
and then enjoy it all selfishly

It doesnt say
Having has a spiritual awakening
as the result of these steps
we forget about the still suffering alky
because we are feeling well
all the promises have come true
you know how to work it now
in all you affairs
and know you make your own misery
when you dont
it doesnt say
forget about the newcomer

does it?

Unity
Service
Recovery

Repeat until you stop breathing

I love this website!

Burn Blue

enjoy

Sleep as you can not as you can't

I wondered why I was sleeping and sleepy
what seemed like the whole weekend
I forgot that I had been out everynight
doing fitness or AA or other
and obviously thought that
I SHOULD be up and about continuously
at the weekend to

Out til nearly midnight Friday
Prison service Saturday afternoon
and out a while Sunday at Church
I have to remember that
this is more than many do...
and its healthy stuff aswell

Sleep is essential
as is regular eating
I am trying to ensure
I keep a balance on both

I spent much of the weekend
praying for guidance
His will, His words, His direction
and listening to those
who have what want
following suggestions
and taking small steps
in doing what they do
or did at the beginning of their path
listening and doing
instead of thinking and figuring
much like early recovery
although its not about alcohol
its about improving my faith
imptoving my conscious contact
spiritual growth
willingness
and openness

I feel apprehensive
rather than afraid
expectant
though not grasping
blinking open eyed in anticipation
not sideways skeptical glancing

All is ok and right sized
Everything is exactly as it should be

Just incase you are interested
here's the sermon from last night
How to read the bible - Nicky Lee

How?
not rocket science, basically
like it was suggested I read the "AA big book"
daily
from the beginning
a few pages
at a time that suits me
there's other stuff in there
Nicky suggested we read it like
a dog loves a bone
eating it with pleasure
putting it down, burying at times
then digging it up, and reading it again
with greater enjoyment
accepting that not always will be want to read
AND THATS OK
but picking it up again as soon as we are ready
accepting that not everything will make sense
at the time
and not every bit will be interesting
he's talking about the bible
but same principle I learned in AA
it works ...

discipline is not a punishment
its an asset

he found reading with someone else newer to the bible
than him helpful
he learned as the other learned

Does this remind you of sponsorship
Reading the Big Book with a sponsor
They say the sponsor gets more than the sponsee

It obviously works in other areas
SERVICE - pass on eveything you have been given
EVERYTHING
In my experience, the more I do this
the more I feel at peace

Secrets, ie holding onto skills etc
has made me unhappy in the passed
training someone at work
passing on ideas that have worked in the past
ALWAYS brings about a sense of Good
even if the ideas are "rejected"
don't stop with the suggestions
unless the person asks you too
there's a difference between advice
and suggestions
and a big difference between
passing on experience and theory!

ok thats me done
I'm off to a step 1 meeting

see ya :)

Listen to the old timers and pass it on to the newcomers & chordie.com

especially listen to
the REALLY OLD ones that
keep coming back
passing it on
and on
and on
and on
and kick us up the ass
and tell the truth
and throw the duvet over at times
help us laugh
and cry
and grow... away from alcohol
and then grow up

gifts of sobriety
gifts from God

they ARE priceless
though NOT flawless!!

God bless the VERY OLD timers
who remain new AND young at heart
and show us how it works

I am VERY grateful :)

There is, however, a vast amount of fun about it all. I suppose some would be shocked at our seeming worldliness and levity. But just underneath there is deadly earnestness. Faith has to work twenty-four hours a day in and through us, or we perish. P16

LISTEN TO THE OLD TIMERS
AND PASS IT ON TO THE NEWCOMERS

Gratitude in Action

ps. to be clear
there is humour
in this post
though no sarcasm
trust me I am grateful

ps Syd if you are still guitarring
I found this great site Chordie.com
songs... hard and easy versions

And another Paulo

Warrior of Light Blog
and how I see it fits
with the Just for Today card
and Big Book

This is Edition no 157

Fragments of a non-existing diary

In the plane between Melbourne and Los Angeles
This extract from the on-board magazine is attributed to Loren Eisley:

“The journey is difficult, long, sometimes impossible. Even so, I know few people who have let these difficulties stop them. We enter the world without knowing for sure what happened in the past, what consequences this has brought us, and what the future may have in store for us.

“We shall try to travel as far as we can. But looking at the landscape around us, we realize that it won’t be possible to know and learn everything.

”So what remains is for us to remember all about our journey so that we can tell stories. To our children and grandchildren, we can tell the marvels that we have seen and the dangers that we have faced. They too will be born and will die, they too will tell their stories to their descendants, and still the caravan won’t have reached its destination.”

Just for today
I will adjust myself to what is,
and not try to adjust everything to my own desires.
I will take my "luck" as it comes, and fit myself to it.

Notes to self
Enjoy the journey
Pay attention
No need to be afraid
everything is exactly the way its meant to be
Enjoy the present moment
There is no fear in the here and now
God doesnt give me more than I can handle
Have faith
We paddle, God steers
There are no coincidences
Put in the footwork, let go of the outcome
Turn up and see what happens
Face everything and recover
To thine own self be true

Big Book

The spiritual life is not a theory. We have to live it.P83

We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. P83

Established on such a footing we became less and less interested in ourselves, our little plans and designs. More and more we became interested in seeing what we could contribute to life.p63

Is he not a victim of the delusion that he can wrest satisfaction and happiness out of this world if he only manages well?P61

God, I offer myself to Thee-to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt P63

All men of faith have courage. They trust their God.P68

We do not tire so easily, for we are not burning up energy foolishly as we did when we were trying to arrange life to suit ourselves. P88


We missed the reality and the beauty of the forest because we were diverted by the ugliness of some its trees. We never gave the spiritual side of life a fair hearing.P50

Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help p63

Make it plain he is under no obligation to you, that you hope only that he will try to help other alcoholics when he escapes his own difficulties.p94

He had come to pass his experience along to me-if I cared to have it.P9

We feel we are on the Broad Highway, walking hand in hand with the Spirit of the Universe. p75

I pray that you now remove from me every single defect of character which stands in the way of my usefulness to you and my fellows.p76

Tradition 11 - Attraction NOT promotion - safeguarding the future of AA for the still suffering alcoholic who hasnt made it YET

Tradition 11 - Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio, and films

Its easy to get bogged down with
oh well I can ignore this tradition
its about
press, radio, film
so it doesnt apply to me?
Wrong!
So whats it mean to the likes of me or you
who "today" is unlikely to
be pressed, radiod or filmed?

I speak for myself here
I look at what does apply, not what doesnt
what I can apply and not what I cant
and strive to maintain it
Public relations... thats anyone not in AA
whom I come into contact with
Attraction not promotion
this is practicing these principles in ALL my affairs
It is helpful to the still suffering
or the out their wilding it about unaware

When I apply the principles of this
programme at work
my colleague knows I led a "wild" drinking life
(wild is not a word i would use :D)
and likens it to hers...currently !?
she knows I have stopped
She knows the consequences became to disturbing
she identifies when I discuss my past
she knows her drinking is a problem
she hasnt yet reached a point
where she has had enough

So my job is to be of maximum helpfulness
and do my job, rock solid
even when she cant, and doesnt
I do
it helps her, that i am there
no matter what

I have no idea what the future holds
But I do know that
by leading by example it helps her
By living the spiritual way of life
I help her

A cousin is well in drinking himself to insanity
I have been watching
speaking with him (on and off) about AA
and them about Al-Anon
(for friends and families of alcoholics)
not rescuing, helping and letting go
helping and letting go over the last 4 years
often repeating myself
which is so often what you guys did for me..
until we are ready to hear
My uncle called me up recently and asked what he could do
This man is a proud man, retired armed forces...
big pint drinker... though not a drunk (i dont think!)
to call anyone up and admit he is beaten
and at a loss what to do with his son
IS a credit to AA and attraction not promotion
its not me, I am just the message carrier

By NOT standing in judgement or
the great know it all Alcoholic expert
just by being me
by being a responsible daughter
practicing patience, tolerence and love
with my Dad, it helped my dad, talk with his brother

We have a responsiblility when we get well
to carry the message (Step 12) and safeguard this thing
for the future alcoholic who wants it (Trad 5)

When? How long for?
The answer my friends is now and forever
Both of which reside in the present moment

Heres an extract from Paulo Coelho's Blog
I read today which
inspired the post along with my
Home group last night which was
on Tradition 11

Thinking about future generations

When he was a young man, Abin-Alsar overheard a conversation his father had with a dervish.

‘Be careful how you act,’ said the dervish. ‘Think about how your actions might affect future generations.’

‘What have I got do with future generations?’ said his father. ‘I won’t ever meet them. When I die, that will be that, and I don’t care what my descendants say about me.’

Abin-Alsar never forgot this conversation. All his life, he tried to do good, to help people and to carry out his work with enthusiasm.

He became known as a man who cared about others. When he died, he left behind him a large number of charitable projects which considerably improved the standard of living in his city.

He had ordered the following epitaph to be engraved on his tomb:

‘A life that ends with death is a life not worth living.’

.................................................................
Is your life affected by someone's drinking?
To help them, you have to help yourself first
call Al-Anon/Alateen
.................................................................
.... This week, I have had a massive hit of
"new vocabulary" OUCH!
... and acceptance
I will be wearing a dictionary in my left hand
for the forseeable future :)

H.A.L.T. its essential - and it helps others if we practice it

Bowl of chicken soup
Chat with a newcomer
Hot Orange juice, with bits
freshly squeezed lemon
and a huge spoon of honey
heated up
EAArly night

I slept last night 9 solid hours!
H.A.L.T.
I woke up this morning
a completely different woman
Yeh its that Powerful, almost unrecognisable....
No seriously
Completely different state of mind
still have the snot, more in fact
but the rest of me is like 100%
so I can deal with the snotty nose!

I shared it in my homegroup tonight
and 4 people come up after
and said yeh I need an early night too
one said its like am frightened of missing something
dont know what, which reminded me of this post

H.A.L.T applies
especially when life is unmanageable, confusing
and everything seems a big deal

H.A.L.T applies
especially when life gets big and amazing
and manageable and there seems to be no big deals

Its easy to forget
maintenence includes
Steps and Prayers
food and sleep
anger management
connecting with
working with others

H.A.L.T when practiced, turns me into a patient
tolerent, kind, forgiving, loving, willing, focussed human

It also opens me up to be mmore
receptive to my Higher Power's will

Also helps me turn up for work, able to function & focus
Also helps me not bat an eye lid at the 72 hour tube strike
From my flat there is more than one way to get to work!!

Which is helpful to those around me

Good night

The Chalice Prayer - a gift from Susan

Father, to Thee I raise my whole being
- a vessel emptied of self. Accept, Lord
this emptiness, and so fill me with
Thyself - Thy Light, Thy Love, Thy Life
- that these Thy precious Gifts may
radiate trough me and overflow
the chalice of my heart into
the hearts of all with whome I
come in contact this day
revealing unto them
the beauty of
Thy Joy
and
Wholeness
and
the serenity
of thy Peace
which nothing can destroy

At church they sometimes give us these notes on the talk

I started out by filling these in

all enthusiastically and then got home and filed them

in a drawer never to be looked at again.

So I have tended recently to listen

make any relevent notes on my

phone. Note to self etc...

I picked up a note sheet as usual

and then as the talk went on just left it to one side

and listened....

I while into it

a woman flustered came in

perched at the side

and started making notes

she asked my neighbour a few things

and then started writing

she didnt have the "Notes"

I reached over and gave her mine

I hadnt wanted to

twice I decided against it

I wanted to keep it just in case

I was missing something

See my experience of previous times

shows me I have no need for these notes

NOT REALLY

What I miss, I can listen again

on the website HTB sunday talks

anytime I want

So I just leaned over and mumbled "here you go"

and gave her my notes

Her face shone

Like I had just given her a million pounds

it shocked me

See I dunno what people need or dont need

do i ?

Near the end, she leaned over

and mumbled, "she would like me to have this"

and passed me a copy of this prayer

At the end I stopped by her and thanked her

She said it means alot to her

someone had given it to her when her dad died

in africa

Fighting back the tears

I said it will mean alot to me now too cos my mum

died in africa last year

She "blessed me"

Introduced herself and I to her

and then we said Goodbye

AGAIN ... there are no coincidences

I have said this prayer this morning

Its lovely

And fits perfectly in

Thank you Susan

Oh and heres a couple more NEW friends Red Head Gal

and Rhonda, go say Hi if you havent met already!!

hey, how slow am I

I just realised, the prayer is in the shape

of a Chalice... how cool :D

happy bank holiday

Me am off to Guildford this afternoon

Do a chair

I have never been to Guildford

AA takes me places I would never have

otherwise strayed

geographically, mentally, physically

spiritually and emotionally

OUT OF MY COMFORT ZONE

And for that I am grateful