Saturday, September 29, 2007

Ever seen a baby panda sneeze?

Its the big panda's look of "What the 'uck???"
that cracks me up EVERYTIME!

Happy weekend all :)

Thursday, September 27, 2007

I am VERY excited, and I have even started yet!!

Oh my God
This week has been a journey in itself
Got so much done
Its ALL fitted into place
Time management?
Nah its AA time
theres extra seconds in Gods AA time

Everything I need to do up to today
Is done
How cool is that?

Yesterday I went in search if the Library
Losing myself in the warrens inspite
of asking direction 3 times
A journey within the journey
Yeh I found it, awesome

Today I found my way round the building easy
(I'd walked the whole building last night)
Today I get excited about software
Thats available to make studying easier

Today whilst other people were asking
Whats the least amount of classes you have to attend?
But you cant rely on the tube?
When do the resits take place?

I find myself asking
What do I have to do to get a
First Class Honours Degree

Aim for perfection
Settle for excellence

he smiled and said we'll show you
one of the modules this semester

In each of the meetings I have
been to this week
they stress the importance
of turning up to everything
doing the preparation
your tutor will lead you in
reading material, research sources

Tonight he said

We assume when you start the course
You know nothing about the subject
We suggest you turn up
keep turning up
follow instructions
at the end of the course
You will be autonomous and wont need us anymore

'uck me
Its not rocket science is it?

Today This feels right
This IS my time

Just for today I am unafraid

Here's a VERY well used piece of writing
from Nelson Mandela's Inaugural speech 1994
Its something I have on my wall at home
To the writer...Thank you

4 years ago
I would have loved this piece of writing
But I wouldnt have felt it
Not really, not in my heart
I would have wanted it
But it would have been out of reach

Today I can say I fully agree
Today I believe this absolutely
Today I am living this

whats made the difference?

having a desire stop drinking
Admitting and accepting I am an alcoholic
Admitting and Accepting without reservation I will never be able to drink safely
Accepting I suffer from a mental illness
Accepting I need spiritual help
Accepting I need to change
Stopping thinking and just doing it anyway
Being willing to do WHATEVER IT TAKES
DOING the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous
being willing to face, let go
and keep letting go of ALL my flawsp64
Trusting God absolutely
Good Sponsorship
Willingness to be of service
in and out of AA
Practicing Honesty
In all my affairs

Tuesday, said goodbye to my home group
Let go with love, I have a lecture tuesdays

Today finally Mums Will was distributed
Money on its way across the world

Tomorrow, in search of a plumbers merchant
I have blocked pipes!!

yeh its amazing how much IS possible
these days

All this in one week
done more, but i need a bath...

And unlike Ms Gadget-Irish Friend
I haven't spree'd out on the latest Apple stuff!!
YET :)

Both you and the new man must walk day by day in the path of spiritual progress. If you persist, remarkable things will happen. When we look back, we realize that the things which came to us when we put ourselves in God’s hands were better than anything we could have planned. Follow the dictates of a Higher Power and you will presently live in a new and wonderful world, no matter what your present circumstances! p100

Today I have starry eyes
Filled with Love and Gratitude
Thank you

Are you afraid of failing or suceeding ?

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate
Our deepest fear is
that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness
that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be
brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small doesn't serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about
shrinking so that other people
won't feel insecure around you.

We were born to make manifest
the glory of God that is within us.
It is not just in some of us, it's in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine.
We unconsciously give other people
permission to do the same
As we are liberated from our own fear, our prescence
automatically liberates others.

Nelson Mandela
Inaugural speech 1994

Monday, September 24, 2007

You are now entering the 4th Dimension - My chains fell off, my heart was free

I had the most bizarre conversation today

Hi its .... from ...
Well we have had the whole department
searching for your exam
and we have decided,we have lost you entrance exam
We aren't sure how, as only 3 of you sat it
and we have 2 of them here, its just yours

Pause (johno listened blinking)

and its undesirable for us to have you to sit the test again
pause (johno keep quiet)

so how do you think you did?
I dont know, thats what i was hoping you were going to tell me

well how do you think you did?
I found it hard

how hard, do you do this in your daily work life?
no I dont write essays, I have written reports
not like this though, I cannot compare the two
I haven't written an essay in nearly 20 years
I found it difficult

and so how do you think you would get on on the course?
I dont know, I know i will need help, as i said to you
on the open day, you do have the help there dont you?

yes we do
and do many people make use of it?

yes some people become dependent on it some people
just need help for certain aspects

well i would be someone that would get help definitely
johno's heart sank a little

would it suprise you if i was encouraged by your
honesty about your skill level? most people would have
said they, had breezed through the exam and would
be trying to impress a place on the course...
especially as we have lost your paper
but you arent

er no, i dont know if i will be able to do it
i dont know how much help i need, i just know I will need
help thats all, but i would like to
try this year to see how it goes
i would just like the opportunity to try

ok, on that basis we will offer you a place
I will write the letter now

thank you

am blown away by opportunity

I watch what you do with others
I see what you do in others

letting go
Letting you
Giving all of me
Absolute trust
why wouldnt I?
everything i offer you absolutely
becomes Gold
Putting all of me in your hands
Is the BEST thing I have EVER done

You shown me in others what You can do
You take away their difficulties
and this helps me
and then when am willing and ready
you take away my difficulties
that victory over them may bear witness
to those I would help
Of Thy Power, Thy Glory, Thy Way of Life
May I do Thy Will always!

Will these tears of Joy ever stop?

The impossible just became possible!



Click the arrow above artist
Tim Hughes - Holding nothing back

My chains fell of, my heart was free
I'm alive to live for you
I'm alive to live for you
Amazing Love, how can it be?
You gave evertything for me
You gave evertything for me

Nothings gonna hold me back
Nothings gonna hold me back
Nothings gonna hold me back

Free to love
Free to give
Free to be

I'm Free to love You....

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Aim for perfection - Settle for excellence

In AA in my experience

The impossible has become possible
Not by accident

I have had to put in the work
I have had to be openminded
I have had to trust God (of my understnading)
I have had to do all the steps
I have to continue to practice the principles in all my affairs
Go for Gold
Go to anylengths in all life areas
make a decision to turn all my difficulties over to this
Keep on Keeping on
Know God Know Peace

"Aim for perfection, or strive for perfection and settle for excellence"
is something I heard the other evening when I spent time
with a group of musicians


We claim spiritual progress not spiritual perfection P60

It reminded me of how easy it can be to believe that this is our lot
Is this it ?
As humans we have very limited thinking
In AA you showed me how to open my mind
How to fire up my imagination
Infact you probably lit the fire and fanned it
at times when i dint couldnt or wouldnt

heres whats on offer IN MY EXPERIENCE in AA
I agree and its IS excellent and its Free
In AA you can have all of this and more!!
Am sure you will find more, as they ARE revealed to you

If you are a pesimist, cynical and skeptical,
you may be thinking
"oh its too long to read yawn, and its God stuff again
i'll never get that lot"
How about reading it anyway?

There is a principle which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all arguments and which cannot fail to keep a man in everlasting ignorance-that principle is contempt prior to investigation."
- Herbert Spencer P570

We want to leave you with the feeling that no situation is too difficult and no unhappiness too great to be overcome. p105

We are sure God wants us to be happy, joyous, and free.P133

Stick with the winners AA Q&A Sponsorship P9
He had that starry-eyed look. Yes, the old boy was on fire all right.P9

Half measures availed us nothing P59

This dream world has been replaced by a great sense of purpose p130

He provided what we needed, if we kept close to Him and performed His work well. P63

Yet we do go to great extremes to provide each other with these very things, when such action is warranted.p98

We found the Great Reality deep down within us.P55

Every one of them has gained access to, and believe in, a Power greater than himself. This Power has in each case accomplished the miraculous, the humanly impossible.P50

Here are thousands of men and women, worldly indeed. They flatly declare that since they have come to believe in a Power greater than themselves, to take a certain attitude toward that Power, and to do certain simple things.P50

There has been a revolutionary change in their way of living and thinking.P50

In the face of collapse and despair, in the face of the total failure of their human resources, they found that a new power, peace, happiness, and sense of direction flowed into them.p50

This happened soon after they wholeheartedly met a few simple requirements. P50

There you will find release from care, boredom and worry. P152

Your imagination will be fired. P152

Life will mean something at last.P152

Life will take on new meaning.P90

To watch people recover to see them help others P90

to watch loneliness vanish P90

to see a fellowship grow up about you P90

to have a host of friends-this is an experience you must not miss. P90

we found ourselves accepting many things which then seemed entirely out of reach p47

We needed to ask ourselves but one short question. "Do I now believe, or am I even willing to believe, that there is a Power greater than myself?" As soon as a man can say that he does believe, or is willing to believe, we emphatically assure him that he is on his way. It has been repeatedly proven among us that upon this simple cornerstone a wonderfully effective spiritual structure can be built. P47

When we sincerely took such a position, all sorts of remarkable things followed P63

When many hundreds of people are able to say that the consciousness of the Presence of God is today the most important fact of their lives, they present a powerful reason why one should have faith.p51

Show any longshoreman a Sunday supplement describing a proposal to explore the moon by means of a rocket and he will say, "I bet they do it-maybe not so long either." p52 (written in the 1930's)

When we saw others solve their problems by a simple reliance upon the Spirit of the Universe, we had to stop doubting the power of God. Our ideas did not work. But the God idea did. p52

The Wright brothers´ almost childish faith that they could build a machine which would fly was the mainspring of their accomplishment. Without that, nothing could have happened.p52

We had seen spiritual release p55

Yet we had been seeing another kind of flight, a spiritual liberation from this world, people who rose above their problems p55

think honestly, encourages you to search diligently within yourself, then, if you wish, you can join us on the Broad Highway. With this attitude you cannot fail.p55

This man recounts that he tumbled out of bed to his knees. In a few seconds he was overwhelmed by a conviction of the Presence of God. It poured over and through him with the certainty and majesty of a great tide at flood. The barriers he had built through the years were swept away. He stood in the Presence of Infinite Power and Love. He had stepped from bridge to shore. For the first time, he lived in conscious companionship with his Creator.

Thus was our friend´s cornerstone fixed in place. No later vicissitude has shaken it. His alcoholic problem was taken away. That very night, years ago, appeared. Save for a few brief moments of temptation the though of drink has never returned; and at such times a great revulsion has risen up in him. Seemingly he could not drink even if he would. God had restored his sanity. p56

What is this but a miracle of healing? p57

Even so has God restored us all to our right minds.p57

But He has come to all who have honestly sought Him.p57

That we have had deep and effective spiritual experiences which have revolutionized our whole attitude toward life, toward our fellows and toward God´s universe.p25

our Creator has entered into our hearts and lives in a way which is indeed miraculous p25

He has commenced to accomplish those things for us which we could never do by ourselves. p25

Father feels he has struck something better than gold.p129

Joy at our release from a lifetime of frustration knew no bounds.p129

Father feels he has struck something better than gold.p129

The spiritual life is not a theory. We have to live it.p83

we will know peace p84

No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others p84

That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear.p84

We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows.

Self-seeking will slip away.p84

Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change.p84

Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us.p84

We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us.p84

Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us—sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.p84

And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone-even alcohol p84

For by this time sanity will have returned. p84

We will seldom be interested in liquor.p84

We will see that our new attitude toward liquor has been given us without any thought or effort on our part. It just comes! That is the miracle of it.p85

We are not fighting it, neither are we avoiding temptation.p85

We feel as though we had been placed in a position of neutrality—safe and protected.p85

Instead, the problem has been removed. It does not exist for us. We are neither cocky nor are we afraid.p85

That is how we react so long as we keep in fit spiritual condition.p85

It is easy to let up on the spiritual program of action and rest on our laurels. We are headed for trouble if we do, for alcohol is a subtle foe. We are not cured of alcoholism. What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition.p85

Every day is a day when we must carry the vision of God’s will into all of our activities. “How can I best serve Thee-Thy will (not mine) be done.” These are thoughts which must go with us constantly. We can exercise our will power along this line all we wish. It is the proper use of the will.p85

If we have carefully followed directions, we have begun to sense the flow of His Spirit into us. p85

We have begun to develop this vital sixth sense. But we must go further and that means more action.p85

We are convinced that a spiritual mode of living is a most powerful health restorative.P133

We have found nothing incompatible between a powerful spiritual experience and a life of sane and happy usefulness. P130

Defeat seemed certain. Yet often such men had spectacular and powerful recoveries. P113

Being all powerful, He provided what we needed, if we kept close to Him and performed His work well.p63

A new life has been given us or, if you prefer, a design for living that really works.p28

What seemed at first a flimsy reed, has proved to be the loving and powerful hand of God. p28

We have found much of heaven and we have been rocketed into a fourth dimension of existence of which we had not even dreamed p25

I was soon to be catapulted into what I like to call the fourth dimension of existence. p8

I was to know happiness, peace, and usefulness, in a way of life that is incredibly more wonderful as time passes.p8

I stood in the sunlight at last.p12

These were revolutionary and drastic proposals, but the moment I fully accepted them, the effect was electric p14

There was a sense of victory, followed by such a peace and serenity as I had never know.p14

There was utter confidence. p14

I felt lifted up, as though the great clean wind of a mountain top blew through and through p14

The joy of living we really have, even under pressure and difficulty. p15

There is scarcely any form of trouble and misery which has not been overcome among us. P15

Most of us feel we need look no further for Utopia. We have it with us right here and now. Each day my friend´s simple talk in our kitchen multiplies itself in a widening circle of peace on earth and good will to men. P16

If God can solve the age-old riddle of alcoholism, He can solve your problems too.P116

When we saw others solve their problems by a simple reliance upon the Spirit of the Universe P52

Quite as important was the discovery that spiritual principles would solve all my problems. P42

If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it-then you are ready to take certain steps.p58

Here are the steps we took, which are suggested as a program of recovery: p59

God will constantly disclose more to you and to us.p163

See to it that your relationship with Him is right, and great events will come to pass for you and countless others. This is the Great Fact for us. p163

Abandon yourself to God as you understand God. Admit your faults to Him and to your fellows. Clear away the wreckage of your past. Give freely of what you find and join us. We shall be with you in the Fellowship of the Spirit, and you will surely meet some of us as you trudge the Road of Happy Destiny. p163

Still you may say: "But I will not have the benefit of contact with you who wrote this book." We cannot be sure. God will determine that, so you must remember that your real reliance is always upon Him. He will show you how to create the fellowship you crave. P163

May God bless you and keep you-until then. P163

I never thought it would be excellent
But it is, it really is

Do not delay dudes
do Steps 1-12
and Keep on Keeping on:)
Carry the message

Ps. Course tutor is now on the hunt for my entrance exam
paper.... And Acceptance is the Answer P417

And dont take yourself so damn seriously :D

All page refs AA big Book 4th edition
Except AA Q&A on sponsorship leaflet link

Sunday, September 16, 2007

Faith Without Works is Dead P14,P76, P88

Belief in the power of God, plus enough willingness, honesty and humility to establish and maintain the new order of things, were the essential requirements. P13/14

Simple, but not easy; a price had to be paid. It meant destruction of self-centeredness. I must turn in all things to the Father of Light who presides over us all.P14

My friend had emphasized the absolute necessity of demonstrating these principles in all my affairs. Particularly was it imperative to work with others as he had worked with me. Faith without works was dead, he said. And how appallingly true for the alcoholic! For if an alcoholic failed to perfect and enlarge his spiritual life through work and self-sacrifice for others, he could not survive the certain trials and low spots ahead. If he did not work, he would surely drink again, and if he drank, he would surely die. Then faith would be dead indeed. With us it is just like that.P14/15

In the AA message there are lots of essentials and musts
and requirements, to follow, the result is freedom

Belief in the Power of God PLUS
This means I must believe in a Power Greater than me
This could be what ever it is that keeps AA's sober

It also says the Father of Light, not the grim reaper

It also says who presides over us all, thats all of us,
including you and me and the neighbours

It says absolute necessity, that means its absolutely necessary
that means just do it, no questions

It was imperative to work with others and "she" has worked with me
That means I must work my ass of with newcomers, excersizing
patience, tolerence and pity... and pass on everything I have been given

Faith without works was dead. This means just believing in
the Power of God, Loving God and knowing God is not enough.
I must WORK for him
Do Gods Will, in all my affairs, Gods Work

How appalingly true for the alcoholic... thats cos we
are such selfsih, selfseeking, manipulative people
that if I could just get well and get away with it
and remember it all... i would... mmm
But I cant, i know this, and so I works with the newcomers
Like the comfy starry eyed energy filled attractive people I see

If I didnt do the enlarging and (at times) self sacrifice
for others... I know I wouldnt have survived and lived
through the low spots I have had

I know if I drink again I will die
All the love I have will die
All the wonder I have will die
All the faith I have will die
Dying isnt just a physical death
Although I am sure I would not last very long
Mentally or Physically
I am sure for me too its just like that

So why take the risk
Why analyse all this stuff ?
Its easier softer way to just get on and do it

Trust God
Clean house
Help others

I really want the opportunity to try this course God
I wonder if its in your plan

Just my experience of how I choose
to let it keep me in line
just my interpretation
My choice if I choose to act on the
musts, essentials and absolute necessities
Its my recovery

Take care

We are not saints - Running on empty

Tried the patience of a saint
Tired of waiting
Tried the patience of an angel
We are not saints P60

Waiting for the results of my exam
Dealing with an incompetent lawyer
Accepting at times the unacceptable
Taking action
Taking inventrory
Giving freely
Working with newcomers
Passing it on
Turning up for work
restraint of tongue and pen
Doing all the next right things
(well not all, am not perfect)
Handing it over
letting go of the outcome
to the nest of my ability
Keeping on Keeping on
Accpeting powerlessness and taking action

Is all very tiring
I just got empty
I wanted someone to give to me

The difference today is that
I called my sponsor and said
I dont want advice
I dont want fixing
I just need someone to listen to me
and just listen
thats not going to give advice
or go poor me
To speak TO someone thats not wanting from me
is that ok?

She did just that
And then said I was just empty
JUST EMPTY - yeh it was the perfect description
Apparantly even Jesus sometimes took himself off
and had time out..without telling his mates
Well if its good enough for Jesus
Well its good enough for Johno

So I have been spending more time nurturing
my relationship with Him, thats with God as I understand Him
Not Jesus
NOT blogging
Not composing Posts in my head through the day
Not thinking about blogger or facebook
yeh I think about you people, the difference today is
I know your well being is not dependent upon my posts
I know my wellbeing is not dependent on reading your posts
See theres progress for me...
My reliance is on Him, not people
Practicing these principles
Being of service in all my affairs
Relatives, work colleagues... sill suffering

I have along way to go
Step 11 it seems is a journey in itself
I just do what makes me feel good TODAY
I just do what makes me feel good at the moment
And am continually finding out more and more
More is revealed

Nurturing my relationship with the Highest Love
Is the most important thing I need to do each day
and maintaining it

In a desperately needy moment this week
I turned towards, asked his care and protection
I asked God to love me this week
Just to love me, to empty my mind and fill it with Him
to shut my head up so I could hear him
What I got back is very healing, fulfilling

What is this but a miracle of healing? Yet its elements are simple. Circumstances made him willing to believe. He humbly offered himself to his Maker-then he knew. P57

God will constantly disclose more to you and to us. P164
I made a beginning, wrote some songs or are they poems today...

I have never read any Susan Jeffers books
I bought "Embracing Uncertainty" a few years ago
and read the first few pages
The other night I got out of bed and took it off my shelf
It seemed to be that still small voice telling me
God said the other night that should read it

The next day I jokingly said I should go to
Control Freaks Anonymous
And then got a little freaked out when
I read the words "Control Freaks Anonymous"
on the next page the next day...
There are no coincidences
Sometimes I have to put even the simplest things
like what I read in Gods hands

we realize that the things which came to us when we put ourselves in God’s hands were better than anything we could have planned.P100

I read very little except AA literature
During the first 3-4 years of recovery
Mainly because I couldnt concentrate
Or it didnt seem to fit and was hard work
I have built up a small library of books
which jumped out off the shelves...
I know you know what I mean
Nothing goes to waste in recovery it seems
Even so, I am amazed how far I have come
without reading this stuff
yet it all seems like stuff that fits
You guys did all the reading for me
And gave me what I needed when I needed it
my antennae, just picked up the right
Bits at the times it was needed seemed
God did for me what I couldnt do for myself

I've put down Men are from Mars, Women are From Venus
for the time being
I havent handed my will and my life over to the care
of Susan Jeffers as I understand her
But she has already suggested
A way for me to improve my faith
I wonder whats in store for me tomorrow
I wonder whats in Gods Plan for me

The need to improve my relationship with God
is more important for the moment
I have no idea what is store
All in Gods Hands

Even so has God restored us all to our right minds. To this man, the revelation was sudden. Some of us grow into it more slowly. But He has come to all who have honestly sought Him. P57

God is lovely to me
When we drew near to Him He disclosed Himself to us! P57

Thursday, September 13, 2007

A Little less Conversation A little more ACTION

a practical program of action.P9

We have a way out on which we can absolutely agree, and upon which we can join in brotherly and harmonious action.P17

Then they outlined the spiritual answer and program of action which a hundred of them had followed successfully.P42

Next we launched out on a course of vigorous action,P63

Chapter 6 INTO ACTION P76

We have then completed Step Seven. Now we need more action, without which we find that “Faith without works is dead.”P76

Before taking drastic action P80.

It is easy to let up on the spiritual program of action and rest on our laurels. We are headed for trouble if we do, for alcohol is a subtle foe. We are not cured of alcoholism.P85

when agitated or doubtful, and ask for the right thought or action.P87

But this is not all. There is action and more action. “Faith without works is dead.” P88

To be vital, faith must be accompanied by self sacrifice and unselfish, constructive action.P93

Outline the program of action P94

After satisfying yourself that your man wants to recover and that he will go to any extreme to do so, you may suggest a definite course of action P142

The two friends spoke of their spiritual experience and told him about the course of action they carried out.P157

In other words, if you think you may be an alcoholic
If you have tried to stop drinking or tried to control your drinking
and found you can't, and you have decided AA probably is for you
even though you dont really want it to be...

fed up of listening to the sound of your own head?
Fed up of listening to the sound of your own voice?

Stop thinking and do the steps
if you are on Step 1 and want step 12
Dont wait til you get well before doing the steps
Dont wait til your life gets better before doing the steps
Dont rely on pink clouds
Self knowledge is not enough
Self will is not enough - and its hard work
Get well by using the steps
Do the steps, all of them in order
The lift to sobriety is broken, please use the steps
Get on with the programme
Get a Sponsor and do the steps
Less analysis, more action
Quit debating
Do not delay
Stop Fighting
Surrender to Win
Take the cotton wool out of your ears and put it in your mouth
Do the steps
Trust the process
Its a Programme of Action, not thinking
Post step 9
Maintain, improve, and pass it on
and practice these principles in ALL you affairs
Step10, 11, 12 in ALL your affairs

Its so damn worth it!!

Act your way into right thinking
Not think your way into right acting

An a Word from God via His Chief choir boy

A little less conversation, a little more action please
All this aggravation aint satisfactioning me
A little more bite and a little less bark
A little less fight and a little more spark
Close your mouth and open up your heart and baby satisfy me
Satisfy me baby

God wants us Happy, joyeous and free...

Gods will not mine be done

Enjoy not endure

its true :)

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Some Suggestions that helped some us get sober and help some of us stay sober today

These are suggestions given to newcomers
and inbetweenies
and anyone that wants them really
By my homegroups

They are like the stabilisers
You have attached to your back wheels when you first learn to ride a bike
They are a good beginning, gateway into the 12 steps
They are a structure for the day which most of us need when in early recovery
They are things to do whilst looking for a sponsor
They are things to do if just going to meetings isnt enough
They are things to do when life sucks
They are things to do if the days gone well
They are things to do everyday until you feel better
they are things to do when you dont know what to do
They are things to do when you cant bring to mind what you know you should do

Contempt prior to investigation!
If you are feeling restless, irritable and discontented
Its worth a try until something else comes along

I am daily now referring people to An Irish Friends sidebar
So its time for me to take responsibility and make a post!

As one of our old timers another Irish Friend
as it happens, regularly says
"We cannot think our way into right acting
We have to act out way into right thinking"

Give them a whirl

Trust God
Pray on knees to a Higher Power
- Morning: "please keep me sober today and please look after me today"
- Night: "Thank you for keeping me sober today"

- Morning: Read the "Just for Today" card
- Night: Write a list of things to be grateful for (gratitude list) and thank your Higher Power for what you have been given

Phone your sponsor daily and do what suggested. If anything is unclear or if you have problems, this your chance to unburden them. The sponsor is not the higher power, but the programme passed onto us by the sponsor is. we trusted our sponsors first,

Read the AA Big Book
A couple of pages a day (more if you can). This reminds us of what a great life is on offer and reassures us that our sponsors are giving us the real deal.

We aim to do some AA service everyday
- Commit to two weekly meetings - "Home groups" pitch in and be helpful and aim to get two service commitments.
- Phone a couple of newcomers (newer than you) each day. especially helpful on the days when we dont go to a meeting.

Frightened or anxious?
Say the Serenity Prayer

Angry or Annoyed at someone ?
Pray for him/her For example: "Please God bless xx and let him have health, prosperity and happiness" or "Please God, give me tolerence, pity and patience I would cheerfully grant a sick friend" or God, give xx everything I would wish for myself"

And to bring them to life abit more - read this

The Above Suggestions Brought to Life!! By An Irish Friend Of Bill

The Six Things. To do every day.

1. Check in with a sponsor (ideally,) or another long time sober person. Or a very cool ‘Spiritual Friend’.

2. Phone a newcomer. Give it away to keep it. THIS IS YOUR MOST POWERFUL DEFENCE AGAINST DRINKING.

3. Hit your knees. Ask YOUR concept of ‘a power greater than yourself’ (It can be the power of AA as a whole, or the power that makes the earth turn) for a sober day, and say thanks at night. It HAS to be a LOVING concept of a HP. (see Trad 2.) If it is even a little bit judgmental, it’s no good. Ask for help with whatever roadblocks you are experiencing at present,

4. Gratitude list. Work against your natural tendency to take things for granted. Is the glass half empty or half full? Write down 6 things that make you laugh, smile or feel glad to be alive.

5. TRY to do one of the things on the just for today card. Think of it as a portable programme. Carry it with you throughout the day. If you become negative, try applying any one of the instructions on the card to your situation.

6. Read a page of the big book or Go to a meeting. Look out for newcomers and long time sober members. Try to be of service in some form or other while at the meeting. If you want to share, sit at the front, and share first. Start with saying I enjoyed your share and I identified with you.

An Irish Friend Of Bill

Just for today Card

Just for today
I will try to live through this day only,
and not tackle all my problems at once.
I can do something for twelve hours that would
appall me if I felt I had to keep it up for a lifetime.

Just for today
I will be happy.
This assumes to be true what Abraham Lincoln said,
that "Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be."

Just for today
I will adjust myself to what is,
and not try to adjust everything to my own desires.
I will take my "luck" as it comes, and fit myself to it.

Just for today
I will try to strengthen my mind.
I will study. I will learn something useful.
I will not be a mental loafer. I will read something
that requires effort, thought and concentration.

Just for today
I will exercise my soul in three ways.
I will do somebody a good turn, and not get found out;
if anybody knows of it, it will not count.
I will do at least two things I don't want to - just for exercise.
I will not show anyone that my feelings are hurt;
they may be hurt, but today I will not show it.

Just for today
I will be agreeable.
I will look as well as I can, dress becomingly,
keep my voice low, be courteous, criticize not one bit.
I won't find fault with anything,
nor try to improve or regulate anybody but myself.

Just for today
I will have a program.
I may not follow it exactly, but I will have it.
I will save myself from two pests: hurry and indecision.

Just for today
I will have a quiet half hour all by
myself and relax. During this half hour, sometime,
I will try to get a better perspective of my life.

Just for today
I will be unafraid.
Especially I will not be afraid to enjoy
what is beautiful and to believe that as I give to the world,
so the world will give to me.

Serenity Prayer

God grant me
the serenity
to accept the things
I cannot change
Courage to change
the things I can
And wisdom
to know the difference

New "Kim" on the Blog - Groan -sorry couldnt help myself

New blogger, go say hi to Kim

Even though I probably just blew away all my blog cred

Happy Wednesday all!!

Happy 4th Anniversary DAAve

ps Rule #62 Dont take yourself so damn seriously
(From the AA 12 traditions)

Tagged by Kathy ... 8 Random things about me

1. I was a Brownie
2. I have blue eyes
3. I spent time in Nuclear bunkers, "recording" for the "Gov"
4. I sold my worn underwear in a prrn magazine
5. I got swept out to sea in an inflatable dingy
6. I own a complete set of "The Famous Five" books
7. I love Egg Custard
8. I love cats
9. I owned this bike in 2006
10. I get carried away easily once I get over my fear and start talking about myself ;)

Trudge, Determind1, Syd consider yourselves tagged!

Feeling impatient? want recovered in all areas NOW ?

Imagine your defects sitting in front of you
along with your head and the Sh&t fairy

Heres one to try
Try Singing this to your defects of character
Try Singing this as if you are your heart
try singing this from your heart
Sing this to the sh&t fairy that sits on your shoulder
who'se saying its not working or I would be fixed by now

You are recovering from a killer illness (like cancer)
The alcohol problem, appears to have been removed
Which itself is a gift
We then want ACTION in all other areas of our life NOW
It all becomes really clear what needs sorting out, changing

We forget, Alcohol was/is what was killing us physically
even though mentally we may still be
driven insane by our thinking (or should I say
listening to our defective thinking
thinking driven by our defects
which eventually if not dealt with will drive us into
insanity, or death... not just by drinking

The great thing about recovery is
we suddeny see all these other things need changing
improving on, and we want it NOW because we see
others have had it changed, it CAN be done
and we are told we are not the exception
Keep coming back does not quiet the impatience

All in Gods Time, (not mine)
(I keep saying this, I think its gonna be the title
of my first song!?)

Sometimes inventory needs retaking
and retaking
and retaking
on certain life areas
(Step4 & then ongoing Step10's)
Taking responsibility
having faith
Allow Willingness, Action and Patience to drive you

The only thing instant in AA is the coffee
And 20-30 years of insanity will not be fixed in 2 or 3 or 4
However it amazing and all areas are being sorted and resorted
improved and improved
The best is yet to come

So while your still healing
Have a little patience

Take That - Patience

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

H.A.L.T. its essential - and it helps others if we practice it

Bowl of chicken soup
Chat with a newcomer
Hot Orange juice, with bits
freshly squeezed lemon
and a huge spoon of honey
heated up
EAArly night

I slept last night 9 solid hours!
I woke up this morning
a completely different woman
Yeh its that Powerful, almost unrecognisable....
No seriously
Completely different state of mind
still have the snot, more in fact
but the rest of me is like 100%
so I can deal with the snotty nose!

I shared it in my homegroup tonight
and 4 people come up after
and said yeh I need an early night too
one said its like am frightened of missing something
dont know what, which reminded me of this post

H.A.L.T applies
especially when life is unmanageable, confusing
and everything seems a big deal

H.A.L.T applies
especially when life gets big and amazing
and manageable and there seems to be no big deals

Its easy to forget
maintenence includes
Steps and Prayers
food and sleep
anger management
connecting with
working with others

H.A.L.T when practiced, turns me into a patient
tolerent, kind, forgiving, loving, willing, focussed human

It also opens me up to be mmore
receptive to my Higher Power's will

Also helps me turn up for work, able to function & focus
Also helps me not bat an eye lid at the 72 hour tube strike
From my flat there is more than one way to get to work!!

Which is helpful to those around me

Good night

Monday, September 03, 2007



I heard this in very early days
And regularly use this most days

It touches on it in the book Living Sober
Clancy touches on it in his tapes too

How it works on me is
If/when I am
comparing myself with others
not wanting to do anything
full of self will
gazing into space
feeling not good enough
not liking you
feeling hard done by
the worlds against me
thinging everybody else is at fault
believing everybody else is at fault
feeling disconnected from myself and others

Then I look at H.A.L.T
When did I last eat? Am I hungry ?
am I angry, resentful, not accepting of something?
Am I lonely, feeling misunderstood, nobody loves me ?
Am I getting enough rest ? Quality ? Consistently ?

usually one of those is needed to be dealt with
Some people have major angry and lonely attacks
I used to have lonely attacks
for me nowadays I watch for hungry and tired
If I am one or both or all four
I will start pointing fingers
or getting miserable, poor me
and everything starts to become a big deal
my thinking, perception and intuition becomes skewed
and I become less able to function in my usual
relatively sane! way

Solution = be honest = take action

If I havent eaten enough so far - EAT
Good food not junk, and its quality not quantity

If angry, resntful, not accepting of something -
Check you when you last ate and how your much rest you are getting
If you are new, SPEAK with another alky/Sponsor
If know how to take inventory
Take inventory, pray, help a newcomer REPEAT if necessary
Post inventory, if still unsure what problem is
or what to pray for speak with sponsor,
or another responsible alky for counsel

Check when you last ate (see above) if you are tired (see below)
are you afraid or something coming up
Are you feeling misunderstood
If you are new, SPEAK with another alky/Sponsor
Go to a meeting
Go for coffee after
Call up someone and ask them how they are ?
Call up someone and say "I am feeling lonely"
CALL up someone else and ask them how they are
Go to a meeting
Pray and chat with HP/God, like you would a wise gentle friend

When did you last rest ?
Are you resentful, afraid, not accepting of something?
Put your feet up and snooze
Go to bed early today
and go to bed early again tomorrow
repeat as often as possible
Preferabley after having eaten enough each day
resentments, fear, defects are exhausting in themselves
to carry round...speak with sponsor, take inventory

Ok am off, very tired and am beginning to feel miserable
and lonely and........ AM JUST TIRED!!

The suns still up
and I am going to bed!

Practicing H.A.L.T enables the restraint of tongue and pen tool
not practicing H.A.L.T can lead to destruction of the innocent

Good night

Living in the SOLUTION not the problem

10th March 2006 Mum died after breast, bladder & lung cancer and it inspired last years "walk" at Blackheath Common,SE London. This year THE RAIN HELD off til the afternoon WAY HAY!! A workout warm up, a minutes silence to remember... lots of walking, talking and an icecream at the finish.

The primary purpose of this walk... Cancer is still a disabler and a killer & search for that prevention and cure is still a something we would all like. I raced for anyone anywhere who needs it, but with a few people in mind that I know, or are close to people I know.

WE that hundreds of women this year over many races and walks and events, one primary purpose.

Today, am very grateful
that inspite of losing my mum to cancer
The AA pledge inspired me to see and accept
that it was due to research
funds already collected in previous years
that helped find the treatment for my mum 3 times

without this treatment
she would not have seen me get sober
she would not have had me make amends
she would not have seen me happier than she had ever seen me
(her words)

Without AA and the Steps
I would not have had the best relationship
we had ever had for about 12 months
and I would not be feeling the way I do
and giving freely, being part of a great whole
EGOless almost
so that someone else may get this chance too

What do I get out of it
I get to heal from my grief a little more
Recovery in all my affairs

Every £ counts towards it all
Its not how much I raised
Its how much WE raised together

Just by putting one foot in front of the other
and Keeping on Keeping on

AA's thats newer and older & God
YOU the great YOU did this to me
Part of this amazing life saving and giving fellowship

YOU PLEASE feel proud!!
I humbly thank you

And if you dont feel you know me
But have taken anything from this blog
(which is simply my experience and
the experience and tools, others have passed on to me)
and used it and or passed it on
to try and help someone
Feel proud!

And if you have used anything
anyone in AA has passed on to you
to stay sober
and or try to help someone
Feel proud!

And if you have tried to stay sober today
Just for today
Please feel proud!
and give it another go tomorrow
in doing so, you are helping others

Proud to be a recovering alcoholic in AA
(Proud but not smug)

This ones for YOU the great YOU yes YOU

Proud - Heather Small

Keep it Simple

Serenity Prayer
God Grant us the Serenity
To Accept the things we cannot change
Courage to change the things we Can
And wisdom to know the difference

AA Pledge
"I am responsible ...
When anyone, anywhere, reaches out for help,
I want the hand of A.A. always to be there.
And for that, I am responsible."