Thursday, July 31, 2008

So we think cheerfulness and laughter make for usefulness.P132

I know praying works now
I do it
and it works
answers come
not in my time though
sometimes quickly
sometimes slowly
and if they dont...
well i'm not meant to know

Had a night out to go to
planned by colleagues
partly for my birthday
and partly for someone elses
last night
I decided I didnt want to go
yes a normal reaction...
head wants to run off and do its own thing
away from a
a potential joyful experience
and create another, run another show
self will run riot

prayed last night for the words to help me
"get out of it without appearing ungrateful
thoughtless, selfish and unsociable"
I was wanting a reasonable excuse
which would leave me with peace of mind
and them thinking "good" of me...
... no words came
this morning I was wondering how I could
not go, and maintain my peace of mind
... nothing came
I HONESTLY couldnt get out of this
yeh I could just NOT go
but I would have to live with myself
and I would know why..

I went to church this lunch
and prayed for my fear to be removed
prayed for patience and tolerence
prayed for my defects to be removed
and for victory over my difficulties
... what came was... go its only for 4 hours
and so what if they get you doing things
be of service, and sometimes that could
mean making a fool of yourself
or should that read taking part in something
funny and allowing yourself to be laughed at
as I will others who will also do it, possible
"belly dancing" haha! frick yeh
no you see why I didnt want to go!
I wouldnt have even done that drunk!
but you know I have done loads of stuff sober
that I wouldnt have done drunk
and you know what
who really gives a "toss"
its a laugh! SERVICE
let them have a harmless laugh at my expense
it dont feel victim like
it feels like taking part, being part of
with people who want to spend time with me
who aren't just out for a drink
eating and conversation... fun!

So we think cheerfulness and laughter
make for usefulness.

Anyway I digress
left the church convinced that I was ready
I had handed the whole thing over
I was ready to go and do what ever
10 minutes later
I arrived back to my desk...
someone said
did you get the email?
what email?
the one about tonight, its been cancelled!
its been cancelled...
the person who had arranged it
got the complete hump
loads of people had suddenly dropped out
and it was cancelled...
she was really disappointed
that people just cahnged their minds
even though there was still
quite a few people up for it
she cancelled and lost it!

frik... scares me
I got what I thought I wanted
but actually I didnt need it
and I didnt know or think of the consequences
but I wont stop praying
what scared me most is that
whether praying had anything to do with this or NOT
if I had just not gone tonight...
made my dishonest excuses
(I had a very legitimate reason to be there)p101
( I feel in very fit spiritual condition)p101
(I had prayed)
(Mentally and physically I am well this week)
(H.A.L.T in tact, even been eating breakfast
..early in the morning)
staying away without HONEST motives
how thoughtless would that have been
she had made efforts and arranged extra stuff for us
gone out of her way to make it kinda special
and me I was just thinking of my self seeking self
like whether the guy at the gym I met
would be there if I went
and thinking that I am not that important
self self self

WRONG sometimes AT TIMES to some people I am

Went to the gym
guy not there...

peace of mind in tact
some dishonest guilt for the person with the hump
this too shall pass
a humble reminder - I too can be thoughtless
and God generally gives me what I need
a few lesson learned today

Saturday, July 26, 2008

Step 1: We admitted we were powerless over alcohol-that our lives had become unmanageable P59

Powerless over alcohol
I believe it NOW

This year I have experienced
a real turn in my "going out"
I have relaxed, enjoyed the company
I am with and really changed around
not being on edge around booze
yeh there are the moments
when I feel the
"Why dont you drink?
what not atall?"
and how quickly people forget
and ask again the next time
most people leave me alone
after a few minutes
its the peoples shocked attitude
rather than drink its self

but this last month or so since
study finished for the summer
I have had some good times
had fun
the vigilance ON GUARD
is replaced by a knowledge
and get on with whats in front of me
ie who am I with or what am I there for...
neither cocky nor are we afraid P85

A few weeks ago
I went out with the intention
of leaving the bar 6.30 and was still in there at 7.30
getting out took about 30 minutes...
I intended to go to the gym after
and ended missing a train and being very early for the next
and not MANAGING to get down the gym
this was a huge dent i my pride
how could I have let this stuff
interest me so much
self will was amazingly weakenedp92
these cocktails I have never tasted
have such a hold on me that
I wanted to stick around
I had no desire... or did I?
yeh I think I had a desire to taste these
interesting drinks
but no desire to get drunk
no desire to get out of it
but I didnt
I really had no idea
what was going on inside of the bar that night
or should I say inside my head
until this week
I have felt
restless, irritable and discontent Pxxvi Dr's Opinion
ever since and didnt kknow why
until now...

I felt manipulated and messed around
by drink and I didnt drink it
The problem centres in my mind P23
I thought its the smell
that sets the craving off in me
now I know its not the case
I have had no desire to drink
or taste a drink after I left the bar
its not the smell, I had plenty of smells that night
its the first drink

The alcoholic at certain times has no effective
mental defense against the first drink

Or was it that I was having fun
and didnt actually want to leave
and go do the other thing
and it just didnt feel
acceptable to actually want to stay
in the bar because I was having a good time!?
perhaps next time I do not need to set
up the get out of jail card
reason to leave at a certain time..
leave it absolutely with God to tell me!

Why didnt I drink that night?
I was really relaxed
it was close to me
it looked harmless, colourful
I could smell it
and I wasnt really being anally vigilant
like I have been before
Good company
good venue
comfy chairs
and I was feeling good...
and the drinks looked fine
not dangerous atall
I have to say I was baffled
and its been on my mind
I didnt drink and
In my mind I deserved tooo
I mean enjoying myself in a bar!!
How dare I...

Obviously God has other plans
Obviously to me now
my defence came from a Higher Power P43
I was not in control that night
me nor any other human beingP43
I look back now and see
my mind was interested in the stuff
God had other ideas!

I feel blessed
Its scared the hell out of me
On Thursday I had one of those
How come I didnt get this before days
Spiritual Pride..

Its God that keeps me sober
not me, I mean not me really
I am powerless
God is all powerful p59
I feel grateful
Although I have spent
a while feeling ungrateful
for this battle going on in my head
trying to figure out whats happening
and why I felt so messed around...

We read Step 3 out of the big book last night
at my home group
I felt like the
"retired business man who lolls in the
Florida sunshine in the winter complaining
of the sad state of the nation"
I had been given Grace
grace to go to bars
an alcoholic going to bars and leaving sober
after having a good and great times??
and a legitimate reason to be there
and feeling in fit spiritual condition
before i went in
and praying
before and during
hows that work then?
yeh I had been complaining
about the heaviness of it all..

but not seeing that
It works-it really doesp88

A drinking buddy said on Thursday
after he looking at me drinking coke
whilst he sipped at his vodka and coke
or was it the 3rd round to my one
"I admire you..."
I stayed for ages
and knew when it was time to leave
and left...

Bizarre this mind stuff
the mind is a dangerous place!

God I offer myself to thee
to build with me as thou wilt
releieve me of the bondage of self
that I may better do thy will
take away my difficulties
that victory over them
may bear witness to those I would help
of thy Power, Thy Love and Thy way of life
may I do thy will always

Forgive me for not asking you
everyday for a sober day
It doesnt mean that I dont want it
I love the life you are giving me
even though my mind tells me
lots of rubbish
which I still at times have trouble not listening to
I beleive in you
This week I see you have the Power
I really can let go absolutely! p58

I am told this is growth
its all progress..

Monday, July 21, 2008

Just when i began to get broody a few weeks ago...

I came across this!? Stuff they dont teach
you in biology at school...

Helen Austin - Childbirth Song

More Helen Austin
and more Helen Austin

a watermelon's pretty big right!?
God I love ya!

Sunday, July 20, 2008

HIV "a living death" is not just a Gay or African problem

I was watching Charlie Wilsons War tonight
which I found really
interesting, informative and entertaining
a snap shot into
world politics and stuff
red tape and well how it !? works
Here's more on it

and this UNICEF clip was at the start
it made me think...
about education
is prevention cheaper than "cure/treatment"?
taking of responsibility
take care
take responsibility
because the other person may not have
They have a new attitude,
and they have been saved from a living death.
Condoms save lives
as does self restraint

I also wonder whether we are
really meant to stop all this
is it possible?
like is touched on in the film above
on another subject
we find some problem, go in and "fix" it
but what happens next?
what happens for the next 100 years?
will we ever really know what Gods Will is?
whose to say Gods will is to prevent or to cure?
in a world of imperfect humans like me
who have good intentions
and at times fall short
the consequences can be GLOBAL
we can only try and keep our side of the street clean
and help others

Narrated by Gwyneth Paltrow, The Gift is a dramatisation of a new poem by Simon Armitage, to highlight UNICEF UK's Born Free from HIV campaign.

Almost every minute of every day, a baby is born with HIV, passed on by their mother. This is because only one in five mothers with HIV receive the right medicine and care to prevent passing on the virus to their babies.

But it doesn't have to be like this. There is an effective treatment, costing less than £1, which can prevent a mother passing HIV to her baby. With the right medicine and care, more than 98 per cent of mothers with HIV do not pass the virus to their baby.

With your help, the Born Free from HIV campaign aims to ensure that all mothers with HIV receive this medicine and care. We want world leaders to keep their promise, made at the G8 Summit in 2007, to ensure that all babies are born free from HIV.

To find out more, visit: and

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Slow down your moving too fast...

I went to yoga last night
we are working on my
scapula and rotatacuff muscles...
physical pain is really boring

Did a "chair" tonight at a meeting
that used to be my home group
such a wide range of sobriety lengths
It was good to go and see
some old and new faces
remember how it was
that church helds many weekly meeting
that kept me coming back over and over

I am grateful

re moving
Looking at more options
interesting stuff!

re work
cross training and revisiting
stuff which will help me in my role as suppport
inprove the support i give
in this instance
knowledge = improved confidence
also helping others learn to study
whilst trying not to teach!

re spiritual fitness
praying, inventory, newcomers, meetings
prison service, telephone service, intergroup

re physical fitness
yoga and possibly badminton this weekend
gym i am struggling with... at the moment

re mental fitness
eating irregularly
attempting sleep not really trying hard
not suprisingly got angry this week
not suprisingly I got a little lonely

re step 11
We were prepared to look for it from an entirely different angle.P66
Reading Philip Yancy
The Jesus I never knew
its funny and showing me "the jesus story"
from an angle I find interesting
exactly what it was like for
an unmarried teenage mother
bringing up a baby
2008 years ago
because she was told by an angel
it was Gods will
and convincing people she isnt mental
that she bore God in the flesh
AND she survived
and He survived... how the heck?
yeh I am hooked!
Wikipedia P.Y

More Step 11
Listened to Ajahn Amoro - Ah So
interesting stuff
prompted me to be mindful
that if I am critical, negative, sarcastic, jokey
my words/manner may break others into
a million pieces... unintentionally.
I do start and break into a million pieces
especially when I am critical or judgemental
of myself... and fearful of others
fear and pride
or whether I THINK i am going to be critisised
the anticipation of it coming starts a process off
which requires healing whether
the negativity arrives or not

having fun
and thinking about my birthday month
feeling gratful
I have been given dignity
and a REAL sense of humour
and purpose

I dislike and I am disliked
I am neutral
I love and I am loved

see where I need to work on this week?
and Paying attention
to whats going on in the present moment
Slowing down...

have a great friday
Life I love you
All is groooooovy

Feelin' Groovy Simon & Garfunkel

see i'm sure this song wasn't sung as SLOWLY as this!?
is it me or what??

Monday, July 14, 2008

Sleep as you can not as you can't

I wondered why I was sleeping and sleepy
what seemed like the whole weekend
I forgot that I had been out everynight
doing fitness or AA or other
and obviously thought that
I SHOULD be up and about continuously
at the weekend to

Out til nearly midnight Friday
Prison service Saturday afternoon
and out a while Sunday at Church
I have to remember that
this is more than many do...
and its healthy stuff aswell

Sleep is essential
as is regular eating
I am trying to ensure
I keep a balance on both

I spent much of the weekend
praying for guidance
His will, His words, His direction
and listening to those
who have what want
following suggestions
and taking small steps
in doing what they do
or did at the beginning of their path
listening and doing
instead of thinking and figuring
much like early recovery
although its not about alcohol
its about improving my faith
imptoving my conscious contact
spiritual growth
and openness

I feel apprehensive
rather than afraid
though not grasping
blinking open eyed in anticipation
not sideways skeptical glancing

All is ok and right sized
Everything is exactly as it should be

Just incase you are interested
here's the sermon from last night
How to read the bible - Nicky Lee

not rocket science, basically
like it was suggested I read the "AA big book"
from the beginning
a few pages
at a time that suits me
there's other stuff in there
Nicky suggested we read it like
a dog loves a bone
eating it with pleasure
putting it down, burying at times
then digging it up, and reading it again
with greater enjoyment
accepting that not always will be want to read
but picking it up again as soon as we are ready
accepting that not everything will make sense
at the time
and not every bit will be interesting
he's talking about the bible
but same principle I learned in AA
it works ...

discipline is not a punishment
its an asset

he found reading with someone else newer to the bible
than him helpful
he learned as the other learned

Does this remind you of sponsorship
Reading the Big Book with a sponsor
They say the sponsor gets more than the sponsee

It obviously works in other areas
SERVICE - pass on eveything you have been given
In my experience, the more I do this
the more I feel at peace

Secrets, ie holding onto skills etc
has made me unhappy in the passed
training someone at work
passing on ideas that have worked in the past
ALWAYS brings about a sense of Good
even if the ideas are "rejected"
don't stop with the suggestions
unless the person asks you too
there's a difference between advice
and suggestions
and a big difference between
passing on experience and theory!

ok thats me done
I'm off to a step 1 meeting

see ya :)

Saturday, July 12, 2008

Is God a Delusion - 3 talks By Nicky Gumbel

by Nicky Gumbel
Anglican Vicar at Holy Trinity Brompton

spent some time reading books by Atheists
and here's his response
in 3 talks

Is God a Delusion? Has Science disproved God?

Is God A delusion? does religeon do more harm than good?

Is God a Delusion? Faith is Irrational

Interesting stuff!

I am reading
Converstions with God (Book 2)

Had a interesting conversation
today and realised other peoples
perception of an area of my life
hadn't moved on or changed
even though I have!!
or am at least open too
bizarre but this enlightenment
may explain
a few seemingly dead ends
I have encountered

the prison I did service at today
has regular communion services
with wine and bread and no option
for grape juice...
one member said he currently spends the evening
prior to communion worrying about
communion and hours/days after
feeling troubled cos he didnt drink the wine
this AA member has written to the Methodists
to ask them to come in
and do communion as methodists
do not use alcohol
hows that for Anylengths & Into Action!!

Pray if you will
for Stuart and Linda
I don't know them either
but I've been asked to by a friend who does
God please help them find love and peace
and hold them at this moment

Friday, July 11, 2008


I am in the eye (of a storm)
a window of opportunity?
I am praying
asking questions
and the answers are coming thick and fast
all feels weird
weird = first adjective
thought when I am in the unfamiliar
especially around religion when it
feels ok...

I am struggling to speak
whats going on right now
I am wanting to watch it unfold
rather than talk it out
its Me and God
and it feels alright

Talked to a minister today
10 mins in a church near work
I needed quiet time
and found it
he popped up haha

Questions are being answered
not by people
just by people actions.. thoughts... signposts
the Universe
and its giving me faith to move forward
yes its forward in this area

another is closing up at the moment
the house move is slowing down
exploring other ideas
its not happening with ease at the moment
so I am not forcing it
12 months I gave the process as time
to be prepared for, an ideal
and so I must remember not to act
in hurry and indecision..

I spent much of today
thinking and saying I DONT KNOW
in relation to what I would like
for the short term future
its the truth
nothing I came up with
sounded solid!
Therefor I am not to make any decisions
explore all I like
but no life changing decisions

I am still in my first year (technically) haha
at uni, early study...
so I choose to consider applying
the principle/suggestion of
no life changing decisions
until after the first year of continuous sobriety
or after step 9

A very sensible and very important
principle for me to remember, it worked!
very few self created disctractions
in early recovery was such a lifesaver

see I can interpret or practice these
principles how I choose really
step 9 likened to study module 9?
so until after study module? 9 which
bizarrely would be this time next year
no life changing decisions!
could be an absurd idea? p87
of course it could
but by listening
its slowed me up
and given me another angle to look at this!

more news as it happens
I'm happier today and feeling stable and in the herd
no animal puns intended
Not in control
Being guided
step by step

Prison service tomorrow :)

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Faith - Growth - Keep walking even when I cant see - God can - Blind faith

The Flow
Everything that comes to us, comes to pass or, more accurately, for us to pass on. Not just the money in our pocket, but wisdom, objects, ideas, even opportunities, all come to us, so that, at the right moment, we can pass them on. This is called flow. Being in the flow means being aware that the river of life is flowing to us at every moment. Being in the flow means accepting whatever comes and putting it to good use, before passing it on. Going with the flow means allowing whatever comes to move on freely, without holding on to it in any way.
Inner Space Thought for today

I am crying again
Accepting I am changing
being changed
by what I do
I can't go back
I don't know whats forward
well thats not true
Letting go
Seeing there is another way
even when I cant see
who says I am going forward?
who says I am going backwards?
only me...
old ideas
the only direction I am growing
is towards God
and for that I am willing
to move in whatever direction
He suggests

Changing and being changed
If I live the serenity prayer
the step 3 and 7 prayer
this will naturally happen

Once again I am looking at step 11
once again I see further growth
and my current whatever it is
is not working
what I want to do
I want to run from
what I think I dont understand
yet it makes perfect sense
to do it to me
yet completely against the grain
of MOST of those outside of AA
I know would go
yet I feel I will be moving towards
those who make me feel comfortable

Once again
I am drawn to spending the week
camping with a bunch of Christians
even though I am not one
I really enjoy the company, teachings
and music of many of those who are
with direction, a sense of fun
and very imperfect like me!
Again its just the Jesus
handing my will over to a person
feels like old behaviour
seems finite, restricting
God what did they do before he was born?

I read (probably not word perfect from
Conversations ith God part 2)
that religeon is for people
who look to be told what to do
and spirituality for those who
look to find out for themselves...

ok, so whats not spiritual about
finding out what its like to be a christian
for myself?

I wouldnt have known and found out
without being shown, invited and taken places
at times it has felt exclusive rather than inclusive
but at the end of the day
everything I have experienced has been alright
at times amazing and at times seemingly.. boring
but never a waste of time and always making sense
encouraging, always seem to have time
sharing experiences, open fellowship
willing to be honest about them selves
prideless at times
without desperation
with humility

other directions suggested
I have not had that experience
doors remained closed
? for the moment

really not sure
God you know
I am in this
and I dont really want to step out
yet I have to

nothing is making sense at the moment
I am not even sure my own
experiences I just wrote
are what I experienced

Nothings actually wrong
yet I don't feel quite right

so I must go with the flow
breathe in and out
let in and let out
Let go and let God

Its alright, its alright

She moves in Mysterious ways

She sees the woman inside this child

One day you will look back
And you'll see
Where you were held
How? By this love
While you could stand there
You could move on this moment
Follow this feeling

Go with the Flow
Stop thinking and just do

There's more...
areas of my life I have just
addressed rather like in the manner
of my previous post
I see whats not moved on, changed
I see whats changed
and I see where theres a need
for change
and a need to stop and leave be

crying is good :)
I've stopped now
and healing
and clearing a blockage

Sunday, July 06, 2008

Step 1 - in all our affairs! on alcohol... its just the beginning

Step 1
It took a while to accept
I understood it more in
other people's alcohol relapses
than in my own drinking career
yet I couldnt understand why they just "didn't" stay away
from that 1st drink
Like I did...
I couldn't see that the time span
between my 1st AA meeting and my last drink
about 13 years...
alcohol beat me into submission
a state of reasonableness
or was it complete defeat
from which reasonableness came later

Powerless over how you think, feel, speak
whether the bus arrives when I want it
whether it rains for a picnic
whether I will be alive at the end of today

Really I am not 100% in control of any of that
am I?


I cannot guarantee that I drink one, I wont have another
I always believed that even though I lost my dignity over and over
by the next day I had forgotton and would do it again
I always believed it would be different next time

I cant

And our lives have become unmanageable ?
again I could see how your lives
were a nightmare, you were on drugs
for gods sake, couldnt control
your sex addictions, gambling habit
shopping addictions, were angry all the time
shouted at managers and old ladies
an were up to your eyeballs in debt
me, I was just a mess
but not like you!!!!!!!!!!
see I had a job and paid my mortgage
and bills so I wast that bad huh?
perhaps I was not such an alcoholic


I am an alcoholic
All the while I was drinking
I couldnt manage to control my spending
I couldnt manage a monogamous relationship
I couldnt manage to tell the truth
I couldnt manage an honest days work
I couldnt manage to maintain personal hygene
I couldnt manage to have a conversation
(for more than 5 minutes)
I couldnt manage to maintain friendships
I couldnt manage to send my family cards on birthdays etc
I couldnt manage to feed myself
I couldnt manage to maintain anything
I couldnt manage my confidence
I couldnt manage to have pastimes
I couldnt manage to tolerate religeon
I couldnt manage to tolerate the word God
I couldnt manage to smile on a regular basis
I couldnt manage to trust
I couldnt manage to a lady
I couldnt rely on myself in any area

hanging in there!
Existing not living
survival and enduring
cutting corners
getting away with
waiting for the day to end

Stopping drinking is just the beginning
highlighting these and more
AREAS in step 1
showed me I am not doing very well huh!

Whenever nowadays ANYTHING troubles me
anything I cant do
anything I consider a "problem"
situation, something I am not comfortable with
I refer back to the principle in step 1
Identify the problem I have
Tell the truth

Look at what I have done to resolve it
and what was the result?
If its "misery, frustration, baffled, beaten" even
then I need to ask for help
turn to a power greater
Look for the solution...

whether I can see that and believe it
in relation to my current problem
depends on my openness and relationship
And how arrogant and full of pride
and how log I have left the problem
trying to
not address it
or believe at somepoint it will
resolve itself or go away

thankfully most days
I dont get to
"misery, frustration, baffled, beaten"
often self willed irritation
that I have to admit I need help
yet only this week
I had one
in relation to this "going for coffee"
and thought I was never going to be able
to speak it out...
but I have and its ok
and I am normal... it seems
and its no big deal
see I know that I am not special and different
I just have trouble believing it sometimes

step 2 is such a Good news step
and a relief to move onto
Step 1 I revisit everytime something
troubles me or you infact!
whether it be a resentment

Step 1... whats your problem?

I can't.... what?
I won't .... do what?
I don't think I can .... do what?
Its not right ... what isn't?
It shouldnt be like this .... what?
I am afraid ... of what ?
I hate it... what?

Telling the truth... is Step 1
admitting and accepting
I can't
is Step 1

At the beginning
its about alcohol

later with PRACTICE
its not such a big deal
to recognise and take
an honest look at THE PROBLEM
whatever it is
and accepting that on some things
no amount of self will and determination
and self and other knowledge
will make this problem go away

Good news... as always
Step 2

Saturday, July 05, 2008

Listen to the old timers and pass it on to the newcomers &

especially listen to
the REALLY OLD ones that
keep coming back
passing it on
and on
and on
and on
and kick us up the ass
and tell the truth
and throw the duvet over at times
help us laugh
and cry
and grow... away from alcohol
and then grow up

gifts of sobriety
gifts from God

they ARE priceless
though NOT flawless!!

God bless the VERY OLD timers
who remain new AND young at heart
and show us how it works

I am VERY grateful :)

There is, however, a vast amount of fun about it all. I suppose some would be shocked at our seeming worldliness and levity. But just underneath there is deadly earnestness. Faith has to work twenty-four hours a day in and through us, or we perish. P16


Gratitude in Action

ps. to be clear
there is humour
in this post
though no sarcasm
trust me I am grateful

ps Syd if you are still guitarring
I found this great site
songs... hard and easy versions

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

...if we work for it

exam results out last night
I have pased this year
with flying colours
4 modules
4 B passes
which is excellent
It seems that I am on the right track
and have to honour this
going forward
no signs to say otherwise...

VERY hard work
as you know
excruciatingly painful often
gloriously amazing at times
huge faith
never quit
and remember to breathe

But its all forgotton
this moment has passed by me now!
I have repaired
I am well and do not have the haggered look
I now have the summer off
to enjoy!!

Good luck to all the students
in the Universe
IFOBW how did you do?

Regarding the phone call
I made another one
perhaps I am not making myself
clear enough!?
its exactly how its meant to be
as always
practicing patience
and NOT sloth!

I am reading Conversations with God Book 2
3 years after reading book 1...
Book one really showed me
just how limited my thinking of
God and the universe
and life and humans
how narrow minded and thinking
I was/am/can be

Book 2 I started a while back
and stopped, so I have started again
I love the bit where God talks about
Time in Chapter 5