Friday, July 11, 2008


I am in the eye (of a storm)
a window of opportunity?
I am praying
asking questions
and the answers are coming thick and fast
all feels weird
weird = first adjective
thought when I am in the unfamiliar
especially around religion when it
feels ok...

I am struggling to speak
whats going on right now
I am wanting to watch it unfold
rather than talk it out
its Me and God
and it feels alright

Talked to a minister today
10 mins in a church near work
I needed quiet time
and found it
he popped up haha

Questions are being answered
not by people
just by people actions.. thoughts... signposts
the Universe
and its giving me faith to move forward
yes its forward in this area

another is closing up at the moment
the house move is slowing down
exploring other ideas
its not happening with ease at the moment
so I am not forcing it
12 months I gave the process as time
to be prepared for, an ideal
and so I must remember not to act
in hurry and indecision..

I spent much of today
thinking and saying I DONT KNOW
in relation to what I would like
for the short term future
its the truth
nothing I came up with
sounded solid!
Therefor I am not to make any decisions
explore all I like
but no life changing decisions

I am still in my first year (technically) haha
at uni, early study...
so I choose to consider applying
the principle/suggestion of
no life changing decisions
until after the first year of continuous sobriety
or after step 9

A very sensible and very important
principle for me to remember, it worked!
very few self created disctractions
in early recovery was such a lifesaver

see I can interpret or practice these
principles how I choose really
step 9 likened to study module 9?
so until after study module? 9 which
bizarrely would be this time next year
no life changing decisions!
could be an absurd idea? p87
of course it could
but by listening
its slowed me up
and given me another angle to look at this!

more news as it happens
I'm happier today and feeling stable and in the herd
no animal puns intended
Not in control
Being guided
step by step

Prison service tomorrow :)

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