Sunday, October 28, 2012

Social Occasions

So we're getting round to that time of year again.
Hidden booze in food particularly puddings.
Picture this... some long time sober folk & others
who have no idea we are.
 
Rely on one alky who said this pud is fine.
It comes and after two two tastes sense says its
laced with something.
 
One gets up confirms its boozy and
changed it for icecream,
two carry on eating it knowing its laced
with bacardi & rum.
 
One says i cant taste it,
just tastes like fruity,
other says i have this everytime i come here.

As time goes on...
Some people can do this with impunity,
some will mess with their heads.

Its your recovery,
its your life.
Alcoholism is cunning baffling powerful.
...

Be careful.

For some to eat it is the beginning
of the road back to the bottle.

for some to drink is to die.

Monday, December 26, 2011

Dont snooze and lose

Well known stats
show that many people
drink after Christmas
after new year

There is no need to drink
Go to meetings
help others
stay honest

dont drink
go to meetings

pick up the phone
before you pick up a drink

Pray for a sober day
thank HP for a sober day

write a gratitude list

read the big book

pick something from the
Just for today card
and do it
each day

start your day again

go to a meeting

Sunday, December 25, 2011

Honesty - to thine own self be true

Christmas day
Consistently
Confuses me
I am confused
Consistently
Christmas day

Drinking
Sober
Doing service
With family
With AA's
In meetings
Home alone
Without faith
With faith
feeling the christmas meaning
Not feeling the Christmas meaning
I have been celebrating
And understanding
The light of the world
Coming through advent
And feeling it
Yet today
I feel like the party is over
Anti climax

Christmas day
Is about service
It has been for a
Number of years now
Yet over the years
That picture of
Christmas day service
Has changed considerably
This year i feel a chapter
Closing and the next one
Is not yet in sight

It has always been
A feeling of
A waste of a day
For as long back as
I remember
in sobriety
a need to
Find something to do
Attitude of service
Today has confirmed it
Organised service
Something i can
Plug into
We

Self seeking ?
Yes i need to do service
Otherwise i
Reminisce about
A happy christmas
I dont remember
Having
Cant quite see the
Truth from the fiction
On that one
And dream of creating
A christmas for others
Which i could plug into
And actually help
Create the fellowship
I crave


Thursday, October 27, 2011

Learn to Learn then Learn to Teach

learning how to learn
was invaluable at uni a few years ago
peaks and troughs
breaks
running with it for hours
and accepting nothings going in at certain times

it began with learning to read the big book
read it and keep reading even though
I think its not going in...
and being suprised when eventually
it starts to seep out
incoherently and then coherently
wanting it and working for it...

yet now its another area
or is it two at the same time
I have had an insight
a vision for me if you would
and now its my job
to work towards it
sometimes quickly sometimes slowly

now i am learning how to teach
learning how to lead
learning how to sing
and learning how to study
and learning how to preach
and learning how to play
and learning how to accept who I am
and learning how to accept
the person I am becoming



Tuesday, October 25, 2011

sexuality

you knew all along
i'm afraid to speak
denying who I am
yet You say I can feel
you say You want me to feel
yet why do I find it so hard
to let go and be completely free
and say how it is
when you know all along
because you feel like this too
in this position I choose
yet so unsure what I can say
finding appropriate intimacy
in touch with my sexuality
we go our separate ways
no regrets
we are all children of God
knitted together
in imperfect perfectness
finding a second soul
who is unafraid
self control
coming at it with need
coming at it whilst running away
coming at it whilst finding yourself
amongst the debris of your life
intimacy with boundaries
love in its purest form
dont make it into something
it is not
or that it cannot be
not with me
our needs are not the same today
with the choices we made separately
trust that Love is
the Greatest Power on the earth
in Love we can be free
finding and feeling my sexuality
stepping backwards denying who I am
yet stepping into it with grace
trusting timing
idolatory sexuality
mmmm mmmm mmm mmmmmm
mission in this life
to be free to serve others
yet stuck inside and stuck outside
where is the common ground
where is the point of need
finding the point of need to meet
to know God, not left wondering
to make a choice
to know or not
investigate or not
the rooms are so empty
the doors have been closed for so long
exclusion was too easy
a few verses
spoken without Love
slammed the doors shut
slammed the doors shut
leaving the outside out and the inside in
uncomfortable
in the uncomfortable zone
of no common ground
Spirit show us how we do this now

must be a song i there somewhere.... :)

Sunday, September 18, 2011

... Honesty .... Honestly

its not just newcomers
Its old timers aswell
Destroyed without picking up a drink
AA is not a dating agency
AA is not a cure
12 steps are not just something to
Read and understand
This way of life is not a theory
We have to live it

Watching and listening
How co dependency
Or the belief that human power
Can relieve alcoholism
And the breaking of anonimity
And sexual obsession
weaves its threads
And eats away at whats been built

Sadly it reflects the importance
Of continue to be honest
Maintain
And grow
Change
In all our life areas
Dont just stop when alcohol
Obsession stops
We can be better in all areas

Saturday, August 20, 2011

8 years sober !!!

Very grateful...