Programme of Action

Last week

Went into Meditation
Listening
and Prayer time
speaking
With God a I understand Him

Prompted to write a gratitude list
thats it?

next day
Huge wave of sadness and loss
unclear exactly what

next day
feelings of loss
feelings of change
not sure what still

next day
heart broken
soul unprotected
soul told me what it needed
soul told me what I was/nt doing
I heard what I needed to hear

and did what I needed to do

Its about
honesty
willingness
openminded
humility

raw, naked, vulnerable
and turned up breathing the next day
and started on a new footing
more honest again
this is about me
my actions and motives

Keep on Keeping on
programme of action
not thinking

do not delay

yeh its raw and hurts
and punctures my ego
but nothing like
the continual misery and hopelessness
I used to feel

this recovering emotional cripple
is getting cooked

I still cant quite believe
the chain of events last week
internal shift and external I suppose

The age of miracles is till with us p153

Growing pains
:)

frrrrreeeeezin here

i've moved, I am moved!! - Firefly carry a light within

its been interesting
and I now have neighbouurs
who know my name
who knock on my door
who have helped me already
who have confronted me with a garden issue
who hold resentment about previous owner
and now possibly me!
anyway I have to confront an issue
take appropriate action
I have to remember other people are sick too...
other people dont like change either
and need extra patience and tolerence
though at the same time
I dont have to be a victim
nor aggressor
step 3 and prayer...

I cant believe
how friendly EVERYONE is...
people smile
even the cats smile
shops, street, station, on the beach
people say hello

and I still
have another day off!!
well if you can call it off

i've been out on my bike
down to the beach
my skin feels so smooth on my face
fresh air

I keep thinking I may have gone deaf
its so quiet
the field behind me is HUGE!

dealing with people
on the phone and face to face
takes effort paytience and tolerence
and courage

my Dad and his girlfriend
have really helped LOADS
not doing it alone
yeh I made decisions
but theyve had experience
over and over...
and she REALLY knows how to clean an OVEN!!
now thats priceless!
her telephone number is..... haha!

I am really glad they were here
and I am REALLY glad they have gone!!

ok first night tonight
on my own
its all feeling ok :)
very good in fact

and I am missing routine!
now thats a scary admission... haha

Grand Drive - Firefly
carry a light within
open your eyes and see the morning in
see the morning in

She had hundreds of stickers on her wall
made to look like stars
and she'd sit and she'd wish upon them all
to the sound of passing cars

and every single day that passed
without a wish come in
she'd peel another star from off the wall
with every wish that came and went
her sky would grow more dim
until she sat in darkness all alone

Firefly
carry a light within
open your eyes and see the morning in
see the morning in
see the morning in

She had hundreds of miles behind her now
the sun just coming in
she was keeping a promise to herself
searching the real thing

When she saw the stars that night
she couldnt believe her eyes
she felt like someone new...
she never thought they'd shine so bright
and then she realised that EVERY wish
she made had just come true...

Firefly carry a light within
carry a light within
open your eyes and see the morning in
see the morning in
see the morning in



Dont quit before the miracle
The darkest hour is before the dawn
However dark it seems
Trust the steps
trust God
and go to any lengths
See the morning in..

Thank you God

Moving - its for real!!

I accepted an offer on my flat today
and got offer accepted on house
which ny heart moved to yesterday evening!

Its funny (well not really!)
yesterday I did very little praying through the day
and ran along on experience & knowledge
and got pretty anxious at times

spoke to my brother
and he told me straight
and put this in perspective
we only have one life
as a human anyway
who knows what I might come back as
aswell as a few other more practical things...
like if its what you want and you can afford it
then just do it!

I called up a mate who
I know used to be an estate agent
and blahed at her...
she empathised and said
yep play the game
you have to play the bidding game
and then just hand it over...
she had just been to a step 3 meeting
frik! it never entered my head step 3
I prayed but not on this
not before every phone call
before everything
like I seem to so often these days
its like in hurry and indecision
i forgot! hit a blank spot
self will run riot
I love my fellowship friends, sponsors whatever
seem to know when to chuck things in
i like that
in fact I love it!
sometimes I just need telling
yes you are a tw*t, now step 3 anyway!

Today I prayed before EVERY phone call
every thing I did
and its all been agreed in one day
a miracle or what!?

So I am moving to the coast
house with 2 gardens
bedroom windows that I can leave open at night
doors that lead into garden
fields nearby
swans and ducks on the lakes close by
oh yeh
and the sea with sandy/pebble beach just a short walk

finalise my moving over my mortgage tomorrow
so not out of the water yet!
although nearly there...

Went to next physio apt after work
arm and shoulder movement improving
the excersizes she gave me are working
and following her suggestions
regarding what not to do!

and went and did chair at home group
I dunno
and this morning got to work on time
and there was a newcomer at mtg very 1st one!

and I got home and a cheque on mat
could life really get better?

The only things I havent got
are marriage and kids!
well at my age its possible
God I will try and leave this one
entirely in your hands!
if you want to give me that aswell
well whatever
:)

If I die in the night
make sure they know
I am VERY happy

I am 4 years 364days sober
and very grateful
good night

...if we work for it

exam results out last night
I have pased this year
with flying colours
4 modules
4 B passes
which is excellent
It seems that I am on the right track
and have to honour this
and ACCEPT IT!
going forward
no signs to say otherwise...

VERY hard work
as you know
excruciatingly painful often
gloriously amazing at times
huge faith
never quit
and remember to breathe

But its all forgotton
this moment has passed by me now!
I have repaired
I am well and do not have the haggered look
I now have the summer off
to enjoy!!

Good luck to all the students
in the Universe
IFOBW how did you do?

Regarding the phone call
I made another one
perhaps I am not making myself
clear enough!?
whatever!
its exactly how its meant to be
as always
practicing patience
thoughtfulness
and NOT sloth!

I am reading Conversations with God Book 2
3 years after reading book 1...
Book one really showed me
just how limited my thinking of
God and the universe
and life and humans
how narrow minded and thinking
I was/am/can be

Book 2 I started a while back
and stopped, so I have started again
I love the bit where God talks about
Time in Chapter 5

Schools out - Time to clean house - take my own inventory - do not delay

Exam over
Prayed before
God said we-re ready
so I asked for his words
in his order
and about 25mins left
I went blank, 1 question to go
I went to the toilet mide xam
and prayed again for the words again
and wrote for another 20...
I am happy with it all

This has been an amazing experience
I will have a look back over the blog posts
at somepoint
I would not have missed any of it for the world
and would not exchange
1 shot of anything
for even the darkest
and hairaising bad hair moments!!

But Wednesday is now history
I have thinking time now
life is slipping in
head stuff I have dealt with
but not with the zeal i would like to have done
now I have
I have to take responsibility
time to take inventory
pray
and share with another human being
and keep praying
and keep taking inventory
and keep praying and keep taking inventory
and keep on
we have a daily repreive

I have been blessed in so many ways
and have faith this will continue
but thats not enough the work will never be over
although this is NOT a complaint
its a way of life
the basic deal is I stay sober in return for
handing my will and my life over
I need take daily inventory
and do some gratitude lists
all that I have done in the last 5 months
was enough in the last 5 months
but I cannot afford to and
do not want to rest on my laurels
thinking its going to see me through even one day

I already seen I had to change my lifestyle
and meetings and everything
Octiber to january which was hard
but exciting at the same time
pink cloud like
the last 4 months
and that was painful...
having to change again
even the stuff that was Good...
and now I have to be prepared to change again

You cannot give away what you havent got
right now
I am a little empty
so I am off to sit with a blank sheet and a pen
rather like I did on wednesday
this time ask for honesty
and tell him the truth
and ask for help on something
I dont understand
let go

I love that we have this program
this toolkit

God thank you for showing me what I am capable of
20 years of thinking about this course
We finally made an excellent start
I am so grateful

Prison service tomorrow
I am looking forward to it :)

and I am starting to accept
letting go and not knowing
on a much deeper level
a much deeper level

theres no love like your love
and no other
could give more love

Bryan Adams yo maybe didnt sing this with God in mind
But today I sing it with God
in my mind
Its true, no human could give what
been given so reliably
by God!

Take me as I am
take my life
I'm giving all
I'm a sacrifice
But theres nothing I want more
You know its true
everything I do
I do it for you
..God
..and no other
could give me more love
theres no where
unless your there
all the time
all the way



I fight for you
I lie for you
walk the wire for you
I die for you
Everything I do
I do it for you
(the great you thats EVERYTHING)
the greater Good, that is God
step3 again...

Gods time not mine - anylengths in the workplace for 4 years - the results are outstanding!

I post this not to show you how good I am
its to show you it worked when I worked it
it didnt when I wasnt
in the workplace

4 years ago
6-9 months away from a drink
struggling to grasp step 1
hanging on by my finger nails
I was on disciplinary at work
speaking to unions
in discussions with HR, Managers
underperforming
and couldnt manage to do even the simplest thing
like stay awake at work
washing machine head, which would NOT shut up
constatntly distracted
no attention span
no discipline
relying on others to help me
no imagination
no a colleague amongts colleagues
not a worker amonsgt workers
a drain on the company
1 hours work in an 8 hours day
a dishonest days work
not through lack of effort or will power
will power and effort was not enough
I was Deadwood basically
A liability
I was told they needed to get rid
of those that were a drain on the company
4 weeks to try and meet some development areas...
acheivable? yes
after 2 weeks it was obvious to me I couldnt

I went and surrended
I am not messing around,
I am not very well
I cant do my job
I have lots of experience
is there anything else you can give me to do
This is a very precarious position to be in
when your companies being sold
all the deadwood are being edged out and I was one of that wood
You may have to take a pay cut
Ok

I am telling you
Anylengths is as you see on this area
a marathon not a sprint
no quick fixes
faith (trust the process)
Turning up (Go to a meeting)
Keep turning up (Keep coming back)
Day at a time
Cinch by the inch Hard by the yard
Pray to be shown the next right thing
Do the next right thing
Just keep turning up until they ask you not to
Put in the footwork.. let go of the outcome
God does for us what we cant do for ourselves
trust the process
anylengths

God gave me a few skills
I knew I had a few, but they didnt show themselves
WHILE I WAS DRINKING

At the time I had a VERY patient & tolerent sponsor
who gave me very direct instructions
minute, hour, day, night by night
my relentless questions
my relentless fear
were met with strength and experience anylengths back
her faith in the steps and practicing these principles
is massive
she had faith in something
I had faith in this something she had
even though I had no idea what it was (blind faith)
I followed as best I could
to the enth degree
it all made sense
and it was manageable
small steps
those early tools still work and keep on working
Sponsorship really is Love, tolerence & gratitude in action
I am Very Very grateful
Thank you

2007 I reached a standard
I have never reached before
NO development areas by the company
1 development area for me to work on (my choice)
All they ask me to do
is to keep doing what I am doing
Keep on Keeping on

So God, Sponsor and fellowship
and Anylengths
You did this, I wanted it
We did this!
Thank you

This is a review of my performance 2007
They wrote this

Johno is a very competent and self disciplined individual.

She goes over and above her level of service agreements to her advisers to ensure a smooth transaction of business. She aids client retention by encouraging client contact by way ....

Johno has received excellent feedback from her advisers who commend her for her hard work and commitment to them and their clients. They recognise her professional approach to her role and with a happy working relationship, Johno is rarely away from the office.

Johno has become a great team player, always offering assistance to her colleagues and RSM (Manager). She has really settled into the team and will put herself out to help others.

She has committed herself to a university degree outside of the business which she is enjoying and finding a good challenge.

One area Johno wishes to change and streamline is her working hours. Although her current hours were agreed at the outset of her employment and are not an issue under discussion or needing development from a business point of view, it is an area she wishes to look at herself in 2008.

Johno should be really proud of her achievements and is an asset to the team.

This is for real!!! and yes I am very proud
proud to bear witness to those I may help!
THIS PROGRAMME, THESE TOOLS FLIPPIN WORK!
The only bit I have written, is in italics
why? its my choice development
because I couldnt find anything in my
job description or generally that I needed to improve on
and neither could they
What the italics is basically saying is I would like
to try and start work at 9am instead of 9-9.30
even though flexi is fine by them
personally its those small victories that make such
a difference to us alkies!
So my goal for 2008
To maintain the high standard I have been
and to make it in once a week at 9am or before!

I no longer do the job I was on disciplinary for
I do a job somepeople have looked down on
as a lesser job than what I did
For me I do an honest days work
I love what I do
which is 4th Dimension stuff
oh yeh!

I dont know what the HR guy will think
if he even remembers when he reads this review
he was the HR at my last company who
was having disciplinary conversations
He is also now at my new company!

Do you know how grateful I am?
More than words can say

Thank you God
Your Will is Amazing

Every day is a day when we must carry the vision of God’s will into all of our activities. “How can I best serve Thee-Thy will (not mine) be done.” These are thoughts which must go with us constantly. We can exercise our will power along this line all we wish. It is the proper use of the will.p85

Step 1 - Chapter 1 Bill's Story

The drive for success was on. I´d prove to the world I was important.p2
Me too, I had a big inferiority complex
yet I believed I had so much undiscovered potential

Though my drinking was not yet continuous, it disturbed my wife.P2
me too, it was suggested I went to AA

By the time I had completed the course, I knew the law was not for me. The inviting maelstrom of Wall Street had me in its grip. Business and financial leaders were my heroes.P2
Me too I took a degree, didnt complete it,
resat it several times and then gave up,
it wasnt for me
The world I am now in took over
money, other peoples money taking care of it
I was wrong

We gave up our positions and off we roared on a motorcycle,
the sidecar stuffed with tent, blankets, a change of clothes P3
yeh I did this too, in search of the rainbow

My drinking assumed more serious proportions....almost every night.
The remonstrances of my friends terminated in a row and I became a lone wolf. P3
me too, work colleagues suggested not drinking in the week
So I stayed at home

The papers reported men jumping to death from the towers of High Finance. That disgusted me. I would not jump. I went back to the bar. My friends had dropped several million since ten o´clock-so what? Tomorrow was another day. As I drank, the old fierce determination to win came back. P4
yeh work colleagues came and went
I was deteremind to go on
at somepoint things would change
success would find me

I woke up. This had to be stopped. I saw I could not take so much as one drink.P5
Yeh I knew I had to try and go home without drinking
go and have an early night like normal people

Shortly afterward I came home drunk. There had been no fight. Where had been my high resolve? I simply didn´t know. It hadn´t even come to mind. Someone had pushed a drink my way, and I had taken it. Was I crazy? I began to wonder, for such an appalling lack of perspective seemed near being just that.P5
familiar stuff

In no time I was beating on the bar asking myself how it happened. As the whisky rose to my head I told myself I would manage better next time, but I might as well get good and drunk then. And I did.P6

The remorse, horror and hopelessness of the next morning are unforgettable. The courage to do battle was not there. My brain raced uncontrollably and there was a terrible sense of impending calamity.P6
Sounds like the morning after my last drink
I had lost all hope
I was beaten
frightened

The mind and body are marvelous mechanisms, for mine endured this agony two more years.P6
Mine too, fighting everything for 30something years
drinking for 20 of them

They did not need to tell me. I knew, and almost welcomed the idea. It was a devastating blow to my pride. I, who had thought so well of myself and my abilities, of my capacity to surmount obstacles, was cornered at last. P6&7
yeh I had ran out of ideas
ran out of hope
AA seemed like the only idea I could think of

No words can tell of the loneliness and despair I found in that bitter morass of self-pity.P7
NOt because of AA
simply because I couldnt figure thins out
I couldnt make any difference
I couldnt manage to change any thing consistantly
I couldnt manage to function like an average person I knew
on a day to day basis

Fear sobered me for a bit. Then came the insidious insanity of that first drink P8
Fear sobered me for ages
Fear and pride
what will not think of me
fear of rejection
fear of how it would be if I drank
eventually it was miserable just being sober

How dark it is before the dawn! In reality that was the beginning of my last debauch. I was soon to be catapulted into what I like to call the fourth dimension of existence. I was to know happiness, peace, and usefulness, in a way of life that is incredibly more wonderful as time passes P8

ITS TRUE



Step 1, it really is the end of the world as we know it!
The best is yet to come

Gratitude meeting at Home Group - Chapter 11 A Vision for You

We have shown how we got out from under. You say, "Yes, I’m willing. But am I to be consigned to a life where I shall be stupid, boring and glum, like some righteous people I see? I know I must get along without liquor, but how can I? Have you a sufficient substitute?" Yes, there is a substitute and it is vastly more than that. It is a fellowship in Alcoholics Anonymous. There you will find release from care, boredom and worry. Your imagination will be fired. Life will mean something at last. The most satisfactory years of your existence lie ahead. Thus we find the fellowship, and so will you. P152

Is my life stupid boring and glum? NO
Has my imagination been fired? YES
Can I get along without booze? YES
Did I find a sufficient substitute? God rocks!!

You are going to meet these new friends in your own community. Near you, alcoholics are dying helplessly like people in a sinking ship. If you live in a large place, there are hundreds. High and low, rich and poor, these are future fellows of Alcoholics Anonymous. Among them you will make lifelong friends. You will be bound to them with new and wonderful ties, for you will escape disaster together and you will commence shoulder to shoulder your common journey. Then you will know what it means to give of yourself that others may survive and rediscover life. You will learn the full meaning of "Love thy neighbor as thyself." P152/3

Found many friends all kinds of them! Life long friends? Yes
You will be bound to them with new and wonderful ties? Yeh I can agree with that

Have we become happy, respected, and useful once more? Yes I have
Have we risen out of such misery, bad repute and hopelessness? Risen up like angels

The age of miracles is till with us. Our own recovery proves that! P153

Just spent a good day with my Dad and his sig other
And it was pretty effortless
Inspite of being in crowds in town on a Saturday
they loved that bit aswell!!
It all went pretty swimmingly

I love miracles - Bring it on!!!

Page refs Big Book Alcoholics Anonymous

And I can play the game of life.... to win

A change in attitude
Aim for perfection
settle for excellence
No comparison with anyone else's
idea of perfection
we all have a slightly different feel on things

There is a need for those seeking the Greater Good
in all areas of ALL professions and services
the wider the spectrum we are the better
millions of us trying to practice these principles all over the shop!
Only Good can come of it

Strive for what is Gods will
Not what you think you would like it to be
That would be self will

If you dont know
Ask to be shown
"God I will put this dilemma entirely in your hands
please show me what it is you want me to do
and give me the strength and Power to carry it out
whetever it is I will do it"

I have to mean it when I hand it over
Absolute faith, requires a faith
in an absolute loving God
(ie NOT a God you think may have a stick in his bag
or one which you think might throw
something at you in the future which
may not fit with your attitudes and beliefs today)
I do this prayer on my knees
often

Dusty - Goin Back
Rather a sad song - but I find it inspiring
It makes me reflect that
in recovery I have gone back
really, though gratefully at time
getting a second chance
drawing up all the good strings I left behind
previously left loose
hanging or severed
that were in the past
and its all coming together kinda nicely



looking at my last couple of posts
I wonder if I am arrogant wanting the best?
But you know
I was always (Pre-step5) afraid of the Best
I never thought I could ever be in any positions
which people would perceive as Power
I never thought I would be able to cope with it
when I got it...
If I got it I thougt I would be too afraid of what people think of me
Thats before I found a God
that know what to do
that comes from a position of Love
he talks and I listen!
I will still have fears, hurt pride, greed, self will
but I have a Loving Good God which will right size
all of this stuff...when I let him!

How do I know?
Because he does already
in the all life areas already
when I work with him and let him

I used to think if I had loads a money
I would get really lazy and wasteful
the truth is I am not
I get abit confused at times with it
and sometime I dont want it
and sometimes it starts to burn a hole
I wasnt sure what I would do if I had more money
but when I got it
I prayed and was shown
So I trust that when/if i get more again
I will be shown
If I ask

For toooooo long
I have settled for 2nd and 3rd
for toooo long I have sat in silence and fear
envy and frustration
and listened and watched others
work for and acheive/attain the greater Good
for too long I have had the ability
and NOT done anything

I have no idea
what the future holds
sickness/health
wealthy/poor
degree/no degree
first/third/drop out
job/no job
wife/no wife
4 limbs/0 limbs
walking/wheelchair
healthy/heart disease/cancer/dementia
sober/drunk
alive/dead
fears I have

Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps
I have two choices
Go for it with God
or not and be driven by fear and develop regrets

So I go for it
I am going for everything
I have found a voice
I have found willingness
I have found an open mind
and I am preparing strengthening it
Me and God and the Spirit of the Universe
we ARE going places
There is a First if I want or am capable of it
See I and no other human knows
whether I am or not... do they, that the truth!
So I am aiming for a First
Putting in the work
and if I miss or they no longer exist
well so be it

I want it
Bring it on!!
recovery Rocks

ps. Gummmms getting better
Gonna swish the salt again

Studying with AlcoholISM - I sabotage myself

I am starting to realise
as I interact on a weekly basis
and open up and be honest
keeping it simple and relevent to the course
ie. not deep (well perhaps it is deep to some people)
anyway yawn, just being me

that all people do this sabotage
and it looks like poor time management
but is it?

I can only speak for me
i definitely see an i sabitage myself
happen over the last 3 weeks

all the simple stuff became hard
stopped taking inventory
got a few excellent marks and one good one
and then hit a block
turning up, helping others but not much else

its the keep on keeping on
even when you think its not going as
YOU think it should be Johno
It in fact IS
Aim for perfection settle for excellent
excellent yesterday may be good today
thats enough
tomorrow is another day to try again

Friday I reached a point that I couldnt
take anything in even at work
I feel like I could sleep for a 100 years

The truth is I suddenly have 4 deadlines next week
assignment at uni
test at work
feedback for yoga teacher
pack for christmas
all different areas of my life
and a delivery of a new mobile phone
and making a decsion about which ipod
(yeh I can see you are NOT feeling sorry for me
these are NOT problems!)

but still my truth is IN MY HEAD
it all became too hard
and physically I started to suffer
and mentally I shut down
I forced myself to share at home group
about the topic, and for the newcomer
not about my head !?
And I felt better

I hate the rain today
its cold and wet
and I dont want to play anymore

There is a woman started coming
and without breaking any anonymity
she is mentally challenged
about 6 months sober
she got an AA Q&A on sponsorship leaflet last night
and its great to see her eyes light up
when people speak with her
I hope she keeps coming back

yeh ok having written taht last bit
I feel different again
i'll play another day
have done a load on the reflective statement
far more and its not done yet
will be easy to strip down tomorrow

the other bit I made a start on
its the pig I am wrestling with
but in the great scheme of things
Its not worth that many marks
So I HAVE to give it my best shot
but not let it dominate me
or stir up the fear and I cant do it

Grateful for this
Have begun to be aware of the time
I need to spend on a 1st class degree
and can I afford to slow down on
the day job to step up on the studying?
well i'll be talking with God about
that over the next few months
Willing to go to any lengths? yah

whatever, this is what I want to do
and its acheivable
a day and a week at a time
turn up, pay attention, do whats suggested
and then do it again
and again
again



There are those, too, who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest.P59

You are now entering the 4th Dimension - My chains fell off, my heart was free

I had the most bizarre conversation today

Hi its .... from ...
Well we have had the whole department
searching for your exam
and we have decided,we have lost you entrance exam
We aren't sure how, as only 3 of you sat it
and we have 2 of them here, its just yours
Pause (johno listened blinking)

and its undesirable for us to have you to sit the test again
pause (johno keep quiet)

so how do you think you did?
I dont know, thats what i was hoping you were going to tell me

well how do you think you did?
I found it hard

how hard, do you do this in your daily work life?
no I dont write essays, I have written reports
not like this though, I cannot compare the two
I haven't written an essay in nearly 20 years
I found it difficult

and so how do you think you would get on on the course?
I dont know, I know i will need help, as i said to you
on the open day, you do have the help there dont you?

yes we do
and do many people make use of it?

yes some people become dependent on it some people
just need help for certain aspects
well i would be someone that would get help definitely
johno's heart sank a little

would it suprise you if i was encouraged by your
honesty about your skill level? most people would have
said they, had breezed through the exam and would
be trying to impress a place on the course...
especially as we have lost your paper
but you arent
er no, i dont know if i will be able to do it
i dont know how much help i need, i just know I will need
help thats all, but i would like to
try this year to see how it goes
i would just like the opportunity to try
pause

ok, on that basis we will offer you a place
I will write the letter now
thank you

THANK YOU GOD
am blown away by opportunity

I watch what you do with others
I see what you do in others

letting go
Letting you
Giving all of me
Absolute trust
why wouldnt I?
everything i offer you absolutely
becomes Gold
Putting all of me in your hands
Is the BEST thing I have EVER done

You shown me in others what You can do
You take away their difficulties
and this helps me
and then when am willing and ready
you take away my difficulties
that victory over them may bear witness
to those I would help
Of Thy Power, Thy Glory, Thy Way of Life
May I do Thy Will always!

Will these tears of Joy ever stop?

The impossible just became possible!

THERE ARE NO COINCIDENCES

I BELIEVE IN MIRACLES

Click the arrow above artist
Tim Hughes - Holding nothing back

Abridged
My chains fell of, my heart was free
I'm alive to live for you
I'm alive to live for you
Amazing Love, how can it be?
You gave evertything for me
You gave evertything for me
everything

Nothings gonna hold me back
Nothings gonna hold me back
Nothings gonna hold me back

Free to love
Free to give
Free to be

I'm Free to love You....

Aim for perfection - Settle for excellence

In AA in my experience

The impossible has become possible
Not by accident

I have had to put in the work
I have had to be openminded
I have had to trust God (of my understnading)
I have had to do all the steps
I have to continue to practice the principles in all my affairs
Go for Gold
Go to anylengths in all life areas
make a decision to turn all my difficulties over to this
Keep on Keeping on
Know God Know Peace

"Aim for perfection, or strive for perfection and settle for excellence"
is something I heard the other evening when I spent time
with a group of musicians

or

We claim spiritual progress not spiritual perfection P60

It reminded me of how easy it can be to believe that this is our lot
Is this it ?
As humans we have very limited thinking
In AA you showed me how to open my mind
How to fire up my imagination
Infact you probably lit the fire and fanned it
at times when i dint couldnt or wouldnt

heres whats on offer IN MY EXPERIENCE in AA
I agree and its IS excellent and its Free
In AA you can have all of this and more!!
Am sure you will find more, as they ARE revealed to you

If you are a pesimist, cynical and skeptical,
you may be thinking
"oh its too long to read yawn, and its God stuff again
i'll never get that lot"
How about reading it anyway?

There is a principle which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all arguments and which cannot fail to keep a man in everlasting ignorance-that principle is contempt prior to investigation."
- Herbert Spencer P570

We want to leave you with the feeling that no situation is too difficult and no unhappiness too great to be overcome. p105

We are sure God wants us to be happy, joyous, and free.P133

Stick with the winners AA Q&A Sponsorship P9
He had that starry-eyed look. Yes, the old boy was on fire all right.P9

Half measures availed us nothing P59

This dream world has been replaced by a great sense of purpose p130

He provided what we needed, if we kept close to Him and performed His work well. P63

Yet we do go to great extremes to provide each other with these very things, when such action is warranted.p98

We found the Great Reality deep down within us.P55

Every one of them has gained access to, and believe in, a Power greater than himself. This Power has in each case accomplished the miraculous, the humanly impossible.P50

Here are thousands of men and women, worldly indeed. They flatly declare that since they have come to believe in a Power greater than themselves, to take a certain attitude toward that Power, and to do certain simple things.P50

There has been a revolutionary change in their way of living and thinking.P50

In the face of collapse and despair, in the face of the total failure of their human resources, they found that a new power, peace, happiness, and sense of direction flowed into them.p50

This happened soon after they wholeheartedly met a few simple requirements. P50

There you will find release from care, boredom and worry. P152

Your imagination will be fired. P152

Life will mean something at last.P152

Life will take on new meaning.P90

To watch people recover to see them help others P90

to watch loneliness vanish P90

to see a fellowship grow up about you P90

to have a host of friends-this is an experience you must not miss. P90

we found ourselves accepting many things which then seemed entirely out of reach p47

We needed to ask ourselves but one short question. "Do I now believe, or am I even willing to believe, that there is a Power greater than myself?" As soon as a man can say that he does believe, or is willing to believe, we emphatically assure him that he is on his way. It has been repeatedly proven among us that upon this simple cornerstone a wonderfully effective spiritual structure can be built. P47

When we sincerely took such a position, all sorts of remarkable things followed P63

When many hundreds of people are able to say that the consciousness of the Presence of God is today the most important fact of their lives, they present a powerful reason why one should have faith.p51

Show any longshoreman a Sunday supplement describing a proposal to explore the moon by means of a rocket and he will say, "I bet they do it-maybe not so long either." p52 (written in the 1930's)

When we saw others solve their problems by a simple reliance upon the Spirit of the Universe, we had to stop doubting the power of God. Our ideas did not work. But the God idea did. p52

The Wright brothers´ almost childish faith that they could build a machine which would fly was the mainspring of their accomplishment. Without that, nothing could have happened.p52

We had seen spiritual release p55

Yet we had been seeing another kind of flight, a spiritual liberation from this world, people who rose above their problems p55

think honestly, encourages you to search diligently within yourself, then, if you wish, you can join us on the Broad Highway. With this attitude you cannot fail.p55

This man recounts that he tumbled out of bed to his knees. In a few seconds he was overwhelmed by a conviction of the Presence of God. It poured over and through him with the certainty and majesty of a great tide at flood. The barriers he had built through the years were swept away. He stood in the Presence of Infinite Power and Love. He had stepped from bridge to shore. For the first time, he lived in conscious companionship with his Creator.

Thus was our friend´s cornerstone fixed in place. No later vicissitude has shaken it. His alcoholic problem was taken away. That very night, years ago, appeared. Save for a few brief moments of temptation the though of drink has never returned; and at such times a great revulsion has risen up in him. Seemingly he could not drink even if he would. God had restored his sanity. p56

What is this but a miracle of healing? p57

Even so has God restored us all to our right minds.p57

But He has come to all who have honestly sought Him.p57

That we have had deep and effective spiritual experiences which have revolutionized our whole attitude toward life, toward our fellows and toward God´s universe.p25

our Creator has entered into our hearts and lives in a way which is indeed miraculous p25

He has commenced to accomplish those things for us which we could never do by ourselves. p25

Father feels he has struck something better than gold.p129

Joy at our release from a lifetime of frustration knew no bounds.p129

Father feels he has struck something better than gold.p129

The spiritual life is not a theory. We have to live it.p83

we will know peace p84

No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others p84

That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear.p84

We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows.

Self-seeking will slip away.p84

Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change.p84

Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us.p84

We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us.p84

Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us—sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.p84

And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone-even alcohol p84

For by this time sanity will have returned. p84

We will seldom be interested in liquor.p84

We will see that our new attitude toward liquor has been given us without any thought or effort on our part. It just comes! That is the miracle of it.p85

We are not fighting it, neither are we avoiding temptation.p85

We feel as though we had been placed in a position of neutrality—safe and protected.p85

Instead, the problem has been removed. It does not exist for us. We are neither cocky nor are we afraid.p85

That is how we react so long as we keep in fit spiritual condition.p85

It is easy to let up on the spiritual program of action and rest on our laurels. We are headed for trouble if we do, for alcohol is a subtle foe. We are not cured of alcoholism. What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition.p85

Every day is a day when we must carry the vision of God’s will into all of our activities. “How can I best serve Thee-Thy will (not mine) be done.” These are thoughts which must go with us constantly. We can exercise our will power along this line all we wish. It is the proper use of the will.p85

If we have carefully followed directions, we have begun to sense the flow of His Spirit into us. p85

We have begun to develop this vital sixth sense. But we must go further and that means more action.p85

We are convinced that a spiritual mode of living is a most powerful health restorative.P133

We have found nothing incompatible between a powerful spiritual experience and a life of sane and happy usefulness. P130

Defeat seemed certain. Yet often such men had spectacular and powerful recoveries. P113

Being all powerful, He provided what we needed, if we kept close to Him and performed His work well.p63

A new life has been given us or, if you prefer, a design for living that really works.p28

What seemed at first a flimsy reed, has proved to be the loving and powerful hand of God. p28

We have found much of heaven and we have been rocketed into a fourth dimension of existence of which we had not even dreamed p25

I was soon to be catapulted into what I like to call the fourth dimension of existence. p8

I was to know happiness, peace, and usefulness, in a way of life that is incredibly more wonderful as time passes.p8

I stood in the sunlight at last.p12

These were revolutionary and drastic proposals, but the moment I fully accepted them, the effect was electric p14

There was a sense of victory, followed by such a peace and serenity as I had never know.p14

There was utter confidence. p14

I felt lifted up, as though the great clean wind of a mountain top blew through and through p14

The joy of living we really have, even under pressure and difficulty. p15

There is scarcely any form of trouble and misery which has not been overcome among us. P15

Most of us feel we need look no further for Utopia. We have it with us right here and now. Each day my friend´s simple talk in our kitchen multiplies itself in a widening circle of peace on earth and good will to men. P16

If God can solve the age-old riddle of alcoholism, He can solve your problems too.P116

When we saw others solve their problems by a simple reliance upon the Spirit of the Universe P52

Quite as important was the discovery that spiritual principles would solve all my problems. P42

If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it-then you are ready to take certain steps.p58

Here are the steps we took, which are suggested as a program of recovery: p59

God will constantly disclose more to you and to us.p163

See to it that your relationship with Him is right, and great events will come to pass for you and countless others. This is the Great Fact for us. p163

Abandon yourself to God as you understand God. Admit your faults to Him and to your fellows. Clear away the wreckage of your past. Give freely of what you find and join us. We shall be with you in the Fellowship of the Spirit, and you will surely meet some of us as you trudge the Road of Happy Destiny. p163

Still you may say: "But I will not have the benefit of contact with you who wrote this book." We cannot be sure. God will determine that, so you must remember that your real reliance is always upon Him. He will show you how to create the fellowship you crave. P163

May God bless you and keep you-until then. P163

I never thought it would be excellent
But it is, it really is

Do not delay dudes
do Steps 1-12
and Keep on Keeping on:)
maintain
Improve
Carry the message

Ps. Course tutor is now on the hunt for my entrance exam
paper.... And Acceptance is the Answer P417

And dont take yourself so damn seriously :D

All page refs AA big Book 4th edition
Except AA Q&A on sponsorship leaflet link

Cinch by the Inch

yestrday I had so many AA hours and extra seconds
Today I forgot I was doing Phone service tonight
so I "lost" and evening (self pity didnt last)
See i dont listen to this stuff nowadays
I knew it would all be ok
It judt wouldnt happen the way I thought
Thats all

I havent lost anything
I spoke with 3 other AA's within 2 hours
all embarking on a course
all getting out of their comfort zones
all "encouraging" each other
nothing but mutual admiration for
what we are trying to acheive
and amazement that it actually is possible

We had a quiet time
So I started a draft of my application
less to do tomorrow evening

Today I made some calls to two people
I would like to ask as referees
One said yes
the other I will speak with tomorrow

See life ie TODAY goes on
I do not project
I keep my head in the here and now
cos thats where my body is
All of me must be as One
Not disconnected
some in the past some in the present and some in next month
All here in the present NOW
There is no fear in the present
when I am doing the right things
If I have been coasting, or winging it
the present becomes a backpeddle
or a slippery slope
neither of which I like
So I just dont do it
I have learnt what I dont like
and what I do (on some things)
by trying and being aware

Yeh if I get on this course
Life will change
Not all of it
Sone weekly commitments
some monthly commitments
but you know it will be ok
my primary purpose will not be affected
no ONE meeting keeps me sober
I can change home group
I can change my telephone service
Change is ok
My primary purpose is not affected
I still get up and aim to be of maximum helpfulness
in all areas of my life
the day to day situations may just change a little
and change is good
things do need refreshing after a while
comfortable is not always good for growth
I have still alot more growing to do
and I welcome it
See none of this is a problem
It is all an adventure

Nothing needs to change
until I get the YES yor on the course
and even then I can change my mind

Do tomorrow tomorrow

I HATE writing personal statements
is just another way of saying
I an AFRAID of what they will think of me
cos I have nothing to offer... Untrue
I HATE tests
is just another way of saying
I am afraid of failure... self will run riot
I dont know what the test is
and I am assuming (i know better than god)
that i will not be able to do it... untrue
the truth is I have no idea whats gonna happen

I havent said I HATE for ages
its funny its come up
had to Step 10 it
I wondered why "I HATE" came out of my mouth
Its just cos am out of my comfort zone
SELF WILLED control freak out of control
letting go Letting God
Putting in the action, letting go of the outcome

AFRAID of failure and hurt PRIDE
and i automatically
revert in someway back
into that needy victim
child like
that needs some one to say
dont worry it will be ok ...
See Step 10's show me loads

I was once a needy victim
Now I am a strong woman with direction and purpose
gentle and open
Miracles happen in AA
and continue to happen
I love it
I love God

Today I am 40 years old

yeh
took inventory
phoned and made an apology to my sponsor
for arguing, talking over and not listening to her
done my prayers
and a gratitude list

First Things First

Done all that before opening cards and presents
if it wasnt for programme, God, AA and Sponsorship
and all you fellow bloggers!!
I may not have made it to 40!!

Full on day and night
am gonna enjoy every God given minute

Happy Sunny Saturday all

Programmed to Serve, something about magical fairy dust that makes me want to blog

The friday night cafe
the waiting staff wear t-shirts with writing
on the back "programmed to serve"
this makes me laugh and I want one

I used to think that being programmed to serve

would mean losing my independence
becomin a robot
mindless
I can never be me again
my own thoughts all removed
my life would never be mine again

Some of this has happened "as the result of these steps"
Is this a bad thing ? NO
Is this a good thing ? YES

Am I programmed to serve ? YES
Serve who ? God as I understand Him, the Spirit of the Universe,
One that has all Power, Mother Nature, The Rhythm of Life,
My Creator, Higher Power, Love, The Universal Truth,
The Great Fact within me, Whatever it is that keeps you sober,
Thingy, The Boss, Him Upstairs, That Power my Sponsors believe
in, The Wind of Change, The Force, Father of Light,
A Loving God... To me, All of these are the same different names,
A Power greater than me, when I plug in, really want to serve
remarkable things happen

Am I a robot ? Nope I have the FREEDOM to TURN away or TURN towards
this programme, these principles every hour, everyday
Today I "made a decision to TURN my will and my life
over to the care of God as I understand him"
Now I have seen what the "magical AA golden fairy dust" can do
I want more, and guess what there is an unlimited pot LIMITLESS
THAT MEANS GET MINING AND FILL YOUR POCKETS, GO SPRINKLE

Have I lost my mind ? Yes, I was losing my mind from
an early age, I came into AA in a hopeless state
suffering from a grave emotional and mental disorder P58
... mindless circling, round and round, madness...insanity
Out of control...

Now I seem to be of sane mind around most things,
I am not on any mind bending substance, uppers, downers
anything. Most people have no idea I was out ov control

I can never be me again... I was sick and tired of being me
Now I am not, I like being me, I interested in me,
its all about me, but I dont need to psycho analyse
I am a human, with human stuff just like all youse

my own thoughts all removed...
nope, sadly I have some very
imperfect and unspritual thoughts OFTEN
Thank God the Thought Police seem to be elsewhere
Thank God, I dont act on my warped heads ideas
I am not responsible for my thinking
I am responsible for my actions
Inventory, willingness to change, accept Spiritual Help
Take action
Somehow I know what to do thesedays, I love being this way
all of me, its interesting to see whats gonna come up next
Fear is not a problem, faith wins over, blind faith
We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves P83

Quite often friends of the newcomer are aware of the difference long before he is himself. He finally realizes that he has undergone a profound alteration in his reaction to life; that such a change could hardly have been brought about by himself alone. P569 Spiritual Experience

my life would never be mine again... my life is infinitely
better nowadays, I couldnt have imagined ever having it THIS good
We have found much of heaven and we have been rocketed into a fourth dimension of existence of which we had not even dreamed. P25

The great fact is just this, and nothing less: That we have had deep and effective spiritual experiences which have revolutionized our whole attitude toward life, toward our fellows and toward God´s universe. The central fact of our lives today is the absolute certainty that our Creator has entered into our hearts and lives in a way which is indeed miraculous. He has commenced to accomplish those things for us which we could never do by ourselves. p25

He (you and me) is not so unbalanced as they might think. Many of us have experienced dad’s (our) elation. We have indulged in spiritual intoxication. Like a gaunt prospector, belt drawn in over the ounce of food, our pick struck gold. Joy at our release from a lifetime of

Father (you and me) feels he has struck something better than gold. For a time he may try to hug the new treasure to himself. He may not see at once that he has barely scratched a limitless lode which will pay dividends only if he mines it for the rest of his life and insists on giving away the entire product. P128 & P129

We HAVE to GIVE it away to keep it.

Give freely of what you find and join us. We shall be with you in the Fellowship of the Spirit, and you will surely meet some of us as you trudge the Road of Happy Destiny. P164

Can you feel it ?.... Can you Feel it?.... CAN YOU FEEL IT?
AM SO GRATEFUL TONIGHT I COULD SLAP MYSELF

It is easy to let up on the spiritual program of action and rest on our laurels. We are headed for trouble if we do, for alcohol is a subtle foe. We are not cured of alcoholism. What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition. Every day is a day when we must carry the vision of God’s will into all of our activities. “How can I best serve Thee-Thy will (not mine) be done.” These are thoughts which must go with us constantly. We can exercise our will power along this line all we wish. It is the proper use of the will. P85

See am programmed to serve and I love it
Why wouldnt I ?

Johno your one of Gods miracles go spread the Good News
It happened again tonight God, could see it in her eyes through her tears
She got hope, just for a few moments, You did that again
You the Great you... God
No Johno, We did it, you work with Me remember
You make my work easier, when you willing and open

To those who's life is unmanageable... There is a solution
keep coming back

God how was it that you got me down the gym 2-3 times a week
most weeks and I beg my PT for a new programme ?? How the hell
did you do that ?

God How was it you did that thing that I have now gotten to
work ontime now for quite a few weeks ?? not days, this is weeks ??
I havent ever done this, even when I had to clock in and out!!!

No dont tell me, am liking your suprises

:) 4 more sleeps.... :)

Page Refs Big Book Alcoholics Anonymous 4th edition

Short sentences v long and waffley (old behaviour)

To those who commented on my style of writing

Its Another miracle
really as the result of the steps,
Sponsorship
Accepting the ego puncturing truth
staying honest
being willing to change
Giving time time
and continuing to work at it

I used to waffle on soooo much
to my Sponsor by email and SMS,
I ended up being a complete pest
most of what I wrote was just self analysis
vague woolley theories about STUFF
I could never get to the point
I was too scared to even try and say what
exactly I might be trying to say
so I would theorise
and hope somewhere in the 500-1000 words
she would get the gist
and send me back in two short sentence
the answer to ALL my problems

She suggested I write short sentences
To the point
I tried to really hard
over a period of months
But couldnt MANAGE too

So I had to stop emailing
and other written communication
As it wasnt helpful to my recovery
and a was a huge take up of her time

The last few years
I made a deal with my Sponsor
that I wouldnt email or SMS her
its self will and fear based activity
When I do, she reminds me
that she doesnt Sponsor by email or SMS
in which case I shuffle my feet
squirm and pick up the phone

Blogging was a good suggestion made to me
As it helped me to get STUFF out
and it gave/gives me time to
process it while I write

I also blogged my gratitude lists
So again the short sentences

So thats where it started
And now I tend to talk in short
to the point sentences aswell
MOST OF THE TIME

I can go off on one at times
like the Best of us
but mostly I get sick of hearing my own
voice fairly quickly

Some of it is pride to
talking out loud
giving my opinion (to non AA's)
is something I am learning
Am actually starting to have an opinion
on things, which is progress
so getting it past my teeth
or passed the keyboard
again is progress

I like my short sentences too
Some people call it poetry
Sometimes I wonder whether
Am being "groomed" by God to write songs
to go with my guitar lessons
I have no idea really

All I know is once I was waffley and unclear
And became a pest
Now I keep it simple
And I seem to be more clear
Selfishly
This is just what feels comfortable too me
Its an unexpected bonus you'se like it too

Am I a budding song writer ?
A poet that doesnt know it ?
I dunno
Until I do, I'll just keep on
As I am
Just an alcoholic
Trying to be on maximum helpfulness
One days At A time
Grateful for Sponsors
They are the ones that tell me the truth
I need to hear

Grateful to be sober
Grateful to be WILLING
Grateful willing to put in the ACTION
and to give time time

Nearly two years ago
I couldnt write in this style
Now I can
Its the only way I know
I have tried going back... and cant!!

Another example of
"God doing for me what I couldnt do for myself"
I have changed because I wanted to
I didnt want to stay the way I was
In any area of my life

little by little
EASY DOES - BUT DO IT

Trust God
Trust the process
Any Lengths
Action
Let Go

Now am waffling HAHA

Glad you like it :)

Good night

Step 8

8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all. P59
I made a list
My sponsor helped me understand the difference
Between a harm
and being a pest, annoying and down right thoughtless

Robbing someone of there peace of mind
which I did to my parents
Not being in touch with my brother
for years on end

Main obstacle
inability to get past my own resentments
prevented me ever looking at my part and blocked
all sense of the truth from both angles

The 12x12 talks abouth the obstacles on step 8
one of them being a not doing a thorough inventory
Thankfully I did

However this is what I needed to do
I spent 18months praying and cultivating
a relationship with a loving God
In a very englightening Step 5, 6 and 7 period
and Praying for all them people on my harms list
even at times the ones we eventually knocked off
I had let go absolutely
God completely was running my recovery
And it was lovely

No one told me I had to
Its just the way it happened
There are no coincidences
I was "groomed" by a Loving God
Am happy to call Him
And I trust Him absolutely
When the student is ready, the teacher appears
Time was given time
Time is a great Healer
(I believe right action speeds up the Healing)
I have a Good Spiritual Surgeon (the Best)

It just came to me from the inside out
I realised the true meaning of FORGIVENESS
I realised that in Step 8 i had to forgive first
forgive all the fancied and or real stuff that
I perceived was done to me
BEFORE i could take a look at Step 9
Thats what I got from Step 8
I became willing really willing

Without consciously trying to forgive
Just simply by going through the steps
as laid out in the big book
I also forgave those who has damaged me 30 years ago
they were knocked off my Step8 list
I hadnt harmed them
somehow, God did for me what I and no human and
no vast sums of money and legal justice could ever do
I forgave and let go REALLY let go

The past does not hold me back from living in today

Prayer - works
God is

We were prepared to look for it from an entirely different angle. We began to see that the world and its people really dominated us. In that state, the wrong-doing of others, fancied or real, had power to actually kill. P66

We asked God to help us show them the same tolerance, pity, and patience that we would cheerfully grant a sick friend. When a person offended we said to ourselves, "This is a sick man. How can I be helpful to him? God save me from being angry. Thy will be done." P67
this became my mantra

Love = forgiveness

Its becoming more and more effortless
natural, organic
This is the easier softer way

Essential for Step 8 = A Sponsor
Essential for Step 8 = Willingness
Essential for Step 8 = Steps 1-7

All page refs AA Big Book

Grteful for my homegroup tonight
Topic Step8 from the Big Book

I dont care anymore how it works
its just so damn brilliant

Grateful for the ordinary IT IS Extra-Ordinary!!

Been to gym 3 times this week 3 times last week
Yoga class
Works work just ordinary this week
Home groups extra ordinary
Sun hardly shined
guitar course came to an end
Sponsee making progress
Been in Conversation with God alot this week
Passed a few messages on!!
Enquired about some career progression
Am healthy
Am Grateful
Thank God for Inventory
Looking forward to the weekend

Even the ordinary is Extra ordinary
when I compare it to what it was like 4 years ago
Freaking heck!!
Friday night, I would be drinking my way to oblivion and incontinence

Its all one big miracle :-)

Have a good one!!

Doing it sober - another first

Its a first
www.hydeparkcalling.co.uk/home/

Just spent 10 hours in the open air
listened to some excellent bands
3 stages
saw some new ones (to me)
and a couple of old favourites

Such a cheap day out doing it sober
So much more chilled
Not racing to the beer tent between sets
Not racing to the toilet
Not missing anything
Present for it all

there's something about music
theres something about it
that opens me up
and cradles my heart
then lifts me up

Ghosts
Forever Like Red
Bens Brother
Amy Macdonald
Rushmore
The Feeling aswell as their own stuff
did an awesome cover of "Video killed the Radio Star"

Crowded House sang
Always take the weather with you
and it starts terrential raining
we shared umbrella's
it didnt matter

Peter Gabriel
20 feet away, singing
In Your Eyes
I felt so lucky
my heart just feels blessed
It was a beautiful moment

If you had asked me what
I would like to hear the most live today
it would be that one
it was worth working for
Am grateful

I love seeing gifts of everything
even the ordinary days have gifts
I dont ever want to lose
the gratitude
I feel for what
I have been given
I dont want to stop noticing it all

I am Grateful

I have just experienced a very teachable moment
which I will share another time
am processing it
Basically I have made some progress
without even realising it
to do with people, personal relations
I thought it was like this
when actually not

to acknowledge progress is a MUST
however small and slow I think it is
the reality is, all growth is a gift
Its a spiritual awakening we get
not an alarm clock in our ear

Am humbled once again by the Power of God
(as I understand Him)
Hand in Hand with the Spirit of the Universe
anything can happen
well it just has and its lovely

bring it on!!
Recovery Rocks dudes

If like me you are going to
Hyde Park Calling tomorrow
Have a great time...
www.hydeparkcalling.co.uk