Friday, May 16, 2008

Schools out - Time to clean house - take my own inventory - do not delay

Exam over
Prayed before
God said we-re ready
so I asked for his words
in his order
and about 25mins left
I went blank, 1 question to go
I went to the toilet mide xam
and prayed again for the words again
and wrote for another 20...
I am happy with it all

This has been an amazing experience
I will have a look back over the blog posts
at somepoint
I would not have missed any of it for the world
and would not exchange
1 shot of anything
for even the darkest
and hairaising bad hair moments!!

But Wednesday is now history
I have thinking time now
life is slipping in
head stuff I have dealt with
but not with the zeal i would like to have done
now I have
I have to take responsibility
time to take inventory
pray
and share with another human being
and keep praying
and keep taking inventory
and keep praying and keep taking inventory
and keep on
we have a daily repreive

I have been blessed in so many ways
and have faith this will continue
but thats not enough the work will never be over
although this is NOT a complaint
its a way of life
the basic deal is I stay sober in return for
handing my will and my life over
I need take daily inventory
and do some gratitude lists
all that I have done in the last 5 months
was enough in the last 5 months
but I cannot afford to and
do not want to rest on my laurels
thinking its going to see me through even one day

I already seen I had to change my lifestyle
and meetings and everything
Octiber to january which was hard
but exciting at the same time
pink cloud like
the last 4 months
and that was painful...
having to change again
even the stuff that was Good...
and now I have to be prepared to change again

You cannot give away what you havent got
right now
I am a little empty
so I am off to sit with a blank sheet and a pen
rather like I did on wednesday
this time ask for honesty
and tell him the truth
and ask for help on something
I dont understand
let go

I love that we have this program
this toolkit

God thank you for showing me what I am capable of
20 years of thinking about this course
We finally made an excellent start
I am so grateful

Prison service tomorrow
I am looking forward to it :)

and I am starting to accept
letting go and not knowing
on a much deeper level
a much deeper level

theres no love like your love
and no other
could give more love

Bryan Adams yo maybe didnt sing this with God in mind
But today I sing it with God
in my mind
Its true, no human could give what
been given so reliably
by God!

Take me as I am
take my life
I'm giving all
I'm a sacrifice
But theres nothing I want more
You know its true
everything I do
I do it for you
..God
..and no other
could give me more love
theres no where
unless your there
all the time
all the way



I fight for you
I lie for you
walk the wire for you
I die for you
Everything I do
I do it for you
(the great you thats EVERYTHING)
the greater Good, that is God
step3 again...

2 comments:

Rhonda said...

"you can't give what you don't have..."
why do I forget that?

Love love love Bryan Adams!

The First Domino said...

As your heart song clearly reveals, many a love song was written with our Father-Mother God in mind.

Your devotion to God touches me deeply.

"To those leaning on the sustaining infinite, today is big with blessings."

Namaste