Thursday, May 22, 2008

I am feeling afraid

I am feeling afraid
of people
and things

this is not rational fear?

Fear of the credit crunch
Fear that I am being sexually harassed
Fear of looking for a new job
Fear of what people think of me
Fear of the unknown
Fear that I have this aversion to looking at my study books forever!

Notice that the word 'fear' is bracketed alongside the difficulties with Mr. Brown, Mrs. Jones, the employer, and the wife. This short word somehow touches about every aspect of our lives. It was an evil and corroding thread; the fabric of our existence was shot through with it. P67

God please remove my fear
and direct my attention to
what YOU would have me be.. P68

I am pre menstrual
I am tired
I am trying self restraint
I have an amend to make tomorrow
From something I said today
Stems from me being a hypocrite
and being oversensitive today

I am looking forward to seeing my dad
I haven't seen him since January
and I just found out
my brother and his family
may be coming to europe!
I am quietly very happy
and at the same times
not counting chickens...
I have grown to love him so much :)

Trying to sort out a straggle of
mums estate
which will come in handy for both of us
I have been praying for what
she and God would like me
to spend her money on
and an answer keeps coming up
I will keep praying
for guidance

Inspite of this turbulence
keeping on
been to the gym again
and feeling ok
doing the new programme
arm feels NOT BAD!!
Thank you

This all too shall pass!
No human power can change the way I feel
This is a time of recovery
Assume the position!
The recovery position
Its prayer we need

have a good weekend all!!


dAAve said...

It can only get better.
Don't give up!!

Shadow said...

stay with it. you'll get there. have a great weekend too!

An Irish Friend of Bill said...

gawd knows. perhaps you are run down. sleep makes stuff look better. and meetings. and coffee after and newcomers. i use extra meetings to reduce my exam fear. it works! takes my mind off my immediate concerns when i see the bigger picture.

but fear can also just show up when we step out of comfort zone. which is mostly bt not always, a god thing.
so who knows eh. i reckon you are just a bit under the weather. a bit more rest and meetings might just do the trick

molly said...

was thinking about you b/c of this new book i got (i posted it tonight).. not sure why i thought of you - guess it is your blog title and how you seem to like nature too (like me). anyhoo - i "hear" you and am sending peaceful vibes your way. i am betting i will see you feeling much better very soon :) maybe you should practice yuummmmmmmmmmmmmm.. do it with me now! yummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm