Thursday, May 29, 2008

Paulo Coehlo - Inner Space and ... my stuff

Its a long one
but its been a long day
and i'm off for a long break

In the wheel of time Issue 173

I had proposed to publish here, once a year, texts by Carlos Castañeda, an anthropologist who influenced my generation with his tales of meetings with Mexican sorcerers. For lack of space, I have not done so since 2004. Today I woke up thinking: Castañeda, despite all his critics and all his work that later on seemed so disorderly to me, should not be forgotten. So here we present some of his reflections.

Intention is the important thing
: for the old sorcerers of Mexico, intention (intento) is a force that intervenes in all aspects of time and space. To be able to use and manipulate this force calls for impeccable behavior. A warrior’s final goal is to be able to lift his head above the rut where he is confined, look around him, and change what he wants. To do so he needs to have discipline and pay attention all the time.

Nothing is easy: nothing in this world is given as a present: everything has to be learned with a great deal of effort. A man who seeks knowledge must have the same behavior as a soldier going to war: absolutely attentive, afraid, respectful and utterly confident. If he follows these recommendations, he may lose the odd battle but he will never cry over his fate.

Fear is natural: fear of the freedom that knowledge brings us is absolutely natural; however, no matter how terrible the apprenticeship may be, it is worse to live without wisdom.

Irritation is unnecessary: becoming irritated with others means giving them the power to interfere in our lives. It is imperative to overcome this feeling. By no means should the acts of others distract us from our only alternative in life: coming in touch with the infinite.

The end is an ally: when things begin to get confused, a warrior thinks about his death and immediately his spirit returns to him. Death is everywhere. Think of the headlights of a car following us along a winding road; sometimes we lose sight of it, sometimes it appears to be too close, sometimes the headlights go out. But this imaginary car never stops (and one day catches up with us). The very idea of death gives men the necessary detachment to go ahead despite all their tribulations. A man who knows that death is approaching every day tries everything, but without feeling anxiety.

The present is unique: a warrior knows how to wait, because he knows what he is waiting for. And while he waits, he wants nothing, and in this way anything he receives – however small – is a blessing. The common man worries too much about loving others, or being loved by them. A warrior knows what he wants - that is all in his life and that is where he concentrates all his energy. The common man spends the present acting as winner or loser, and depending on the results he becomes persecutor or victim. The warrior, on the other hand, worries only about his acts, which will lead him to the objective he has traced for himself.

Intention is transparent: intention (intento) is not a thought, nor an object, nor a desire. It is what makes a man triumph in his objectives and lifts him up from the ground even when he has delivered himself up to defeat. Intention is stronger than man.

It is always the last battle: the warrior’s spirit does not complain about anything, because he was not born to win or lose. He was born to fight, and each battle is the last that he is waging on the face of the Earth. That is why the warrior always leaves his spirit free, and when he gives himself to combat, knowing that his intention is transparent, he laughs and enjoys himself.

All from Paulo Coelho Warrior of Light Issue 173

Very pertinent for me at the moment
Todays Thought for the Day

Eye Of The Storm
A wise sea captain caught in a tropical storm knows that if he holds his vessel on the periphery it will get hurled from one side to the other. If he can reach the eye of the storm, he will enter a place of stillness. The storm will then subside and the ship can continue its journey. Similarly, when everything around me is changing in a very intense way, the best place for me to seek shelter and refuge is not on the outside, but deep within the self, where I can get in touch with my own inner being, find strength and stability, then come out and do whatever it is I need to.

My stuff
I am off on holiday now
2 weeks away from it all
immerse myself within
and without with...
nature and the elements
good food
spiritual nourishment
and like minded company
and God
Hand in Hand with the Spirit of the Universe
"i'll comeback
and do whatever it is
I need to do"

Last night I had a strange experience
Packing some new insect repellent
even though I havent opened or sprayed it
I could smell alcohol
first thought open it and smell it...
I prayed
and second thought
this stuffs so cunning huh!
put the stuff in your bag stop messing around with it!
its just insect repellent
was that in my mind or was it real?
I have no idea
First thoughts often hold the danger signs
they are to be listened to
but not always acted upon!!
I may throw it away by tomorrow
and buy a different brand if it
stays in my head
insect bites or drunk... ?

My line manager ORDERED me today
to not worry
she says this all proves that I am human...

I have no choice to let go and let God
either spend the whole 2 weeks worrying about
what I can absolutely do nothing about
powerless... for 2 weeks
or let go absolutely!

There are already and will be
consequences or my error
however, what kind, I have no idea
TODAY

Self will invites me to predict
Fear tells me the worst (as usual)

No one, not even those involved
have said have a crap time
you waster!

Like you say, forgiveness must apply to me aswell
Put the stick down Johno
and have some fun

I feel a sense of peace
I keep thinking its just shock
or numb
but I am not so sure it is...

I was listening to this song on the way home
Circle Round the Sun (track 10)
Chris While & Julie Matthews
some words say
Faith is just another way of simply stopping trying
It is what many of us myself included
though when anyone over a week said have faith or hand it over
or first approach at step 3
"well that meanns I dont have to do anything then, leave it to God!"
No Absolute faith does not mean simply stopping trying
I dont agree in this instance
Lovely song, but I dont agree
and it made me take a check on what have I dont the last few days
My attitude

I could go to work and feel sorry for myself etc
or go to work and think well God will take care of me
whatever... if I get sacked or disciplined so be it
but thats sloth and dishonest and selfish fear driven
attitude
I think...
and there is a fine line which parts how I feel
and the 2nd one above.
I could get disciplined
infact thats a (fear driven lie)
I wont get disciplined
There may e changes, may be not
in todays market I am lucky to have a job
many of my old colleagues
who are good at their jobs
are facing redundancy

I do have faith that I will be ok no matter what
and I do not feel a victim
even though I have erred
its an honest mistake
What I have is dignity
What I have is a sense of rightsize this thing
its big, but there are bigger and there are smaller
errors been made and will be again
I will see this through
I will not where possible let this one thing
affect every other thing I do WELL
I will not walk around with impending doom
its not helpful
its not service
its not AA
its not sober
its not who I am today

Lessons will be learnt
I need to reflect on the future
what I do and dont wnat to be doing
when term starts again in October
what the right thing especially in light of this
and whats defect driven
Balancing too many balls
is not an honest days work
I do not want to hang in there
and possibly make this mistake again
this year was the practice session
its time to GET REAL

I am responsible
when I know better
I have a responsibility to do better

Take care all and have a fun few weeks
happy founders day on 10th June

God Grant me the serenity to accept
the things I cannot change
courage to change the things I can
and wisdom to know the difference

see ya
:)

4 comments:

recoveryroad said...

Cool post. I can take a lot out of that Sorcerer stuff. Thank you!

Syd said...

Hope that you have a good holiday. It sounds like you needed it. I'll look forward to your posts when you return. Take good care.

molly said...

where u at girlie? hope to see u back soon :)

molly said...

just checkin in to say HI. hope u are doing well.