No longer alone.... In fellowship... We....Unity... Stick with the Winners...

Faith and Unity

The medical View of AA Page 569 Big Book 4th Edition
Dr Foster Kennedy, neurologist. "This organization of Alcoholics Anonymous calls on two of the greatest reservoirs known to man, religeon and that instinct for the association with one's fellows...the 'herd instinct'. I think our profession
must take appreciative cognizance of his great theraputic weapon. If we do not
do so, we shall stand convicted of emotional sterility and of having lost that faith that moves mountains, without which medicine can do little"





Found it on here

Thursday evenings will never be the same again...
House... followed by Greys Anatomy!!
Heaven..

Living in the SOLUTION not the problem

10th March 2006 Mum died after breast, bladder & lung cancer and it inspired last years "walk" at Blackheath Common,SE London. This year THE RAIN HELD off til the afternoon WAY HAY!! A workout warm up, a minutes silence to remember... lots of walking, talking and an icecream at the finish.

The primary purpose of this walk... Cancer is still a disabler and a killer & search for that prevention and cure is still a something we would all like. I raced for anyone anywhere who needs it, but with a few people in mind that I know, or are close to people I know.

WE that hundreds of women this year over many races and walks and events, one primary purpose.

Today, am very grateful
that inspite of losing my mum to cancer
The AA pledge inspired me to see and accept
that it was due to research
funds already collected in previous years
that helped find the treatment for my mum 3 times

without this treatment
she would not have seen me get sober
she would not have had me make amends
she would not have seen me happier than she had ever seen me
(her words)

Without AA and the Steps
I would not have had the best relationship
we had ever had for about 12 months
and I would not be feeling the way I do
and giving freely, being part of a great whole
EGOless almost
so that someone else may get this chance too

What do I get out of it
I get to heal from my grief a little more
Recovery in all my affairs

Every £ counts towards it all
Its not how much I raised
Its how much WE raised together

Just by putting one foot in front of the other
and Keeping on Keeping on

AA's thats newer and older & God
YOU the great YOU did this to me
Part of this amazing life saving and giving fellowship

YOU PLEASE feel proud!!
I humbly thank you

And if you dont feel you know me
But have taken anything from this blog
(which is simply my experience and
the experience and tools, others have passed on to me)
and used it and or passed it on
to try and help someone
Feel proud!

And if you have used anything
anyone in AA has passed on to you
to stay sober
and or try to help someone
Feel proud!

And if you have tried to stay sober today
Just for today
Please feel proud!
and give it another go tomorrow
in doing so, you are helping others

Proud to be a recovering alcoholic in AA
(Proud but not smug)

This ones for YOU the great YOU yes YOU


Proud - Heather Small

Keep it Simple

Serenity Prayer
God Grant us the Serenity
To Accept the things we cannot change
Courage to change the things we Can
And wisdom to know the difference

AA Pledge
"I am responsible ...
When anyone, anywhere, reaches out for help,
I want the hand of A.A. always to be there.
And for that, I am responsible."

Today

I am grateful for

Mum started chemo
I am happy
jobs going well
got a pay rise
no longer being a drain on the company
being useful
applying for supervisor role
believing am worth it... applying
accepting I may not get it
applying anyway
being willing to try
home group
newcomers
having something to pass on
passing it on and letting go
not trying to be an expert
preparing for my trip
not being perfect
being sober
having faith in God
being a part of
loving living

My Mothers a Superhero

We, in our turn, sought the same escape with all the desperation of drowning men. What seemed at first a flimsy reed, has proved to be the loving and powerful hand of God. A new life has been given us or, if you prefer, "a design for living" that really works. P28

It is a design for living that works in rough going. P15

My mum went into hospital for tests friday
today she was diagnosed with lung cancer
Its her third time, breast, bladder, now lung
she texted me the other day
"you have to be brave to want to grow old"
how true is that

When I told my family today, they just kept asking
why her, how much more can she cope with ?
I just could say, its her, because she can cope
and she will keep going until she is ready to stop
so we just keep going aswell

Am grateful today

that I am sober
part of a loving fellowship
that i was able to tell my mum i loved her
that i had a meeting to get to
that i could say no to doing a chair tomorrow
that i didnt expect to much of myself today
that i went back to basics
HALT, praying, meetings, talking, step10 ing

that i can cry & not feel sorry for myself
that i am able to feel emotional like a human being
that i am not the emotional cripple i used to be
that I can behave appropriately without hiding my pain
that I can take suggestions from newcomers
that i notice, my pride kicking in

that i was able to make my amends to my mum last year
that my mum and i regularly communicate nowadays
that I have had a few years now of loving this woman
for who she is, not what I would like her to be
that i can accept that although she is "our mum"
to me and my brother, she is "our mum" to a number of people
to accept she is a remarkable woman
My mothers a Superhero

Your job now is to be at the place where you may be of maximum helpfulness to others, so never hesitate to go anywhere if you can be helpful. P102

I need to get myself in fit spiritual, physical & mental condition
Even though I have come down friday with an odd chest complaint
almost like i came out in sympathy!?!?!

Tomorrow, she will have brain & full body scans & biopsy
to see if its spread & what type it is
tomorrow we find out what the next step is

Keep on, keeping on
My job is to do the next right thing
Gods will, not Johnos

What happens next, depends on which way she wants to go
I want to be there to help her do it with dignity

Grateful for my Higher Power
Grateful for the strength of the fellowship
Grateful for the strength of bloggers
Grateful for the "kit of spiritual tools" p25
Grateful for Sponsors everywhere

God doesnt give us more than we can handle...
I have faith

All page ref's to Big Book Alcoholics Anonymous

I landed today - with JEFF

The greatest enemies of us alcoholics are resentment,
jealousy, envy, frustration, and fear. P145 Alcoholics Anonymous

Jealous of people I perceive to be what I am not... comparing
Envy of people who have what I want, but cant have... is a lie... it stopped working
Frustration at myself for feeling the above, arent i passed all that now... me the great me
Fear that I will not be able to overcome this lot... ever... hopeless case obviously

JEFF Jealousy, Envy, Frustration, Fear
JEFF, also gave me further stuf... some self pity...
poor fuckin me, am not as well as i thought i was
They are all wrong, am still just a fuck up

I also got told/suggested not to take on any more commitments
Too overloaded, with step4 already... "ok" i sulked

self centeredly i took it as personal insult...
... i obviously am doing it ALL wrong
I may aswell ditch all my future plans then...
Cancel all plans at the weekend, which will inturn impact Christmas
Fuckit I am staying in bed at the weekend to think about it all
Infact dont anyone ever approach me for advice, am too sick
See my best thinking today... lovely thoughts

How unreal, YET VERY REAL my thinking can spiral downwards

Thank God for my home group
Thank God for people who walked this path before me
Thank God for the visitor
You are my teachers
You that tells me your truth, which i learn to be my truth
Thank God I can see alot of the insanity of my thinking
Thank God am not scared to get honest, in an attempt to find the truth

Today has not been effortless
Today I have been doing anylength
Today has been about doing it anyway
Today my old ideas, crept into my head
Today i just did what was suggested
Today I just accepted, I am working it, todays just an odd day
Thank God I dont have to make it on my own
Grateful of the experience of coming down from the convention high
I will try and remember how it was
Its part of the process

Am gonna pray now
for the willingness & removal of my self centred fear
and for acceptance that This Too Shall Pass

Sober and grateful
Tired... so sleep then
Let today Go now, its History