Do i bypass and return directly God who has all power?

i dont want to not feel like this
I want to feel what i feel
I dont want to lie
I want to be free
I dont want a rule or vow
Suppress my feeling
If i choose to adopt a vow
I must adapt my actions
Yet i do not want to not feel

I want to be able to love
Whomever
Whenever if ever
Yet i do not want to lie
To my church my god
My fellows
I want to live in the truth

I want to accept the consequences
I want to be responsible
I want honesty
No fear or guilt
If it closes doors
Then i have faith
Others will open

My relationship with Jesus
Needs to be honest
He may not agree
I may not be accepted in heaven
Yet it doesnt stop me
Loving and working for him
It doesnt stop me from
Or does it?
Is it right to worship
A side of god who is not
Fully accepting of who i am?

Yet id give up the material
Do it for you
Yet for so long i have no physical
And i am at a point where
I would accept either
Yet would you accept me
In every way?