Sunday, December 25, 2011

Honesty - to thine own self be true

Christmas day
Confuses me
I am confused
Christmas day

Doing service
With family
With AA's
In meetings
Home alone
Without faith
With faith
feeling the christmas meaning
Not feeling the Christmas meaning
I have been celebrating
And understanding
The light of the world
Coming through advent
And feeling it
Yet today
I feel like the party is over
Anti climax

Christmas day
Is about service
It has been for a
Number of years now
Yet over the years
That picture of
Christmas day service
Has changed considerably
This year i feel a chapter
Closing and the next one
Is not yet in sight

It has always been
A feeling of
A waste of a day
For as long back as
I remember
in sobriety
a need to
Find something to do
Attitude of service
Today has confirmed it
Organised service
Something i can
Plug into

Self seeking ?
Yes i need to do service
Otherwise i
Reminisce about
A happy christmas
I dont remember
Cant quite see the
Truth from the fiction
On that one
And dream of creating
A christmas for others
Which i could plug into
And actually help
Create the fellowship
I crave

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