Leanred Helplessness - in response to yesterdays link

timely for me too,
the uncomfortableness which was
put up with able for a while,
has now gone on for years...
and become the norm ... then reduce
to tears of frustration and powerlessness
everynow again, things chnage a little and then
...return back to same ol same ol ....
misery is optional,
although it doesnt feel like it right now ....
yet to let go absolutely ...
means a stage dive off into the arms ...
of a loving HP ... hasnt let me down yet ...
and only good has even happened when I have ...
not without challenge,
fear and suffrin, but flippin worth it ....
just got to do it ...
why wait ?
Do not delay ?
yeh well i've been tellin myself
it will be different tomorrow,
yeh I have another path to look forward to
and this would tide me over ...
but even that feels like sloth and a copt out
(dishonest to HP)
self will keeps me in learned helplessness,
the easy option, remains the dis-easy option ...
I dont believe God wants me
happy joyeous and free for part of my life,
I believe,
infact I know he wants it for all of me,
access all areas ...
hanging on the towel ... yet its getting harder ...
he wants me, and and i want it too ...
just got to let go of the towel ...
and follow my calling absolutely,
even before the next thing comes up ....
once I know, let go ....
the comfortable life is not always the spiritual life ...
make space for grace ...

first time ever I have made a decision and lented ...
I have been lenting off of cakes,
biscuits and crisps... my things,
and even though I thankfully dont worry
about my consumption,
abstainence of just these things has meant
I am seeing verything, in its full glory ...
lifes to short ...
the spiritual life is not a theory, we have to live it ...
cant have my cake and or eat it... til Easter Sunday :)

God ... is it really is time for me
to get off the cross now because
you need the wood for someone else?!

Make it clear ..... or perhaps you just did ...!

Freddie - I want to break free

Learned helplessness

Paulo Coelho

In response to a comment... Meetings are rubbish locally & i think need to look where theres no gossip or politics ....

Meetings are meetings everywhere,
always opinions flying around. 
Always gossip sadly,
and it colours peoples views. 
I prefer to make my own mind
up and go with ones that
follow steps AND traditions,
service, love and tolerence, 
all inclusive. 
So indivudually we make a choice.
 Every meeting is different flavoured. 
Step meetings have been
paramount in my experience.
Local meetings are not crap,
there are some very sober
and serene people living
the program in them, however,
there are like eeryhwere,
people who are not!

Get a sponsor do steps, 
make a homegroup, 
do service, 
and go to anylengths to make
it best meeting in area
for the newcomer. 

AA isnt a social group. 
Its a place to practice 
tradition 5  and it will do
great works for the suffering
and the serene :-)

I also found a sense of humour 
in homegroups helps, aswell :-) 
i like step meetings as people
tend to share current and past
experience using the principle 
of that particular step, 
so i get to know the people 
who are living it on adaily basis
and those who just did the steps
and those who are in the steps
at whatever point. 
Anything goes, 
aa is big enough for everyone :-)
We need diferent support 
going through steps at each step,
it brings up duffernt stuff 
and somepeole dont want 
to do steps and so need 
support in diffeent ways
in neetings.
All good for learning how to practice
love and tolerence 
of all humans in and out of rooms :-)

And i get insights in how to 
and not to perhaps act in a
current or future life issue,
when i hear how someone
else handled it... 
Step meetings rock!! 

And i make great friends 
for life, week after week, 
hear whats going on, 
gradually we open up, 
and walk along side each other...
Joys and adversity ... 
Grumpy and happy, 
a good homegroup will level u
celebrate and prop u up 
at times.... 
So that u are in best condition
for the newcomer when she walks
in scared and shakey.
Togther we are ready. 

Regarding talk bill did the 
day dr bob died...
The oldtimers gave us our lives!!!
Yeh i love that talk, 
made me soo grateful 
he made that last call in
the phonebox in the hotel, 
and got hooked up with Dr Bob,
if he hadnt made that call, 
its unlikely AA would be..... 
Yeh see u At Step mtmg if u fancy it :-)
stick with people who have what
u want and you will get waht
they have!! :-)