timely for me too,
the uncomfortableness which was
put up with able for a while,
has now gone on for years...
and become the norm ... then reduce
to tears of frustration and powerlessness
everynow again, things chnage a little and then
...return back to same ol same ol ....
misery is optional,
although it doesnt feel like it right now ....
yet to let go absolutely ...
means a stage dive off into the arms ...
of a loving HP ... hasnt let me down yet ...
and only good has even happened when I have ...
not without challenge,
fear and suffrin, but flippin worth it ....
just got to do it ...
why wait ?
Do not delay ?
yeh well i've been tellin myself
it will be different tomorrow,
yeh I have another path to look forward to
and this would tide me over ...
but even that feels like sloth and a copt out
(dishonest to HP)
self will keeps me in learned helplessness,
the easy option, remains the dis-easy option ...
I dont believe God wants me
happy joyeous and free for part of my life,
I believe,
infact I know he wants it for all of me,
access all areas ...
hanging on the towel ... yet its getting harder ...
he wants me, and and i want it too ...
just got to let go of the towel ...
and follow my calling absolutely,
even before the next thing comes up ....
once I know, let go ....
the comfortable life is not always the spiritual life ...
make space for grace ...
first time ever I have made a decision and lented ...
I have been lenting off of cakes,
biscuits and crisps... my things,
and even though I thankfully dont worry
about my consumption,
abstainence of just these things has meant
I am seeing verything, in its full glory ...
lifes to short ...
the spiritual life is not a theory, we have to live it ...
cant have my cake and or eat it... til Easter Sunday :)
God ... is it really is time for me
to get off the cross now because
you need the wood for someone else?!
Make it clear ..... or perhaps you just did ...!
Freddie - I want to break free
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