Monday, February 02, 2009

At times I have no idea how to behave

and today was one of them...
living where I am living out of town
I am really feeling the season
and how long it goes on for
and its twists and suprises
and joys and scares

today was too trecherous to cycle
a neighbour gave me a lift to the station
early train got me to work early...
dilemma came
when only two of us arrived...
why am i here?
because I work here...
i travelled the furthest..
well actually the train brought me here
I didnt actually walk it!

snow fell faster
trains started being cancelled
and I didnt know when to leave
I have no idea...
most people didnt even turn up
yet I have a problem leaving
rather than being stranded
to scared to be stranded at work
to scared to leave work
rather strange! but thats how it was

its a first...
first time I have left work early
because of weather
I took some work home
see whilst others snowballed
I couldnt! and didnt
through choice and ignorance
ignorance of whats appropriate

see am used to going to any lengths
turn up at the station until they tell you
the trains arent running
stay at work til they tell you to go home
even at the station going home
they said they are not shutting the stations
yet the snow fell more and more
when he said some trains were breaking down
thats when I stepped on the train...
and tonight went and asked the same neighbour
for a lift tomorrow to station
that was hard...

came home
did some work
just took inventory
I am afraid of this
new situation I have experienced
and afraid of how I reacted/behaved
and what people will think of me

restless, irritable and discontented
because my routine and comfort zone has been
altered by snow
and forced me to go beyond zee
see God picked up the chalk and drew one letter more

pride, self will, self centredness
self centred fear

please remove all my defects of character
and grant me acceptance, courage and wisdom
love and tolerence towards self and others

and grateful


Lydia said...

A wonderful post! I couldn't believe my eyes when our news showed your storm over there. You be careful, but enjoy it too. :)

steveroni said...

Ya sure sound powerless to ME--
And grateful!

Peace. They (whoever that is?) always told me, "More will be revealed". And they were correct.....
Steve E.

steveroni said...

I forgot...Thank you for posting, I have not been around to read a lot, but it's good to read some of your thoughts again.

indistinct said...

Some one told me that the trouble with Alcoholics is that they don't like change. Nor do they like things to stay the same. ;)

Thank you for showing me how to work the steps through difficult times.

Syd said...

Snow does break up routine. But it will melt and things will get back to their usual state soon enough. I enjoy the snow and wish there were some here. It's the kid in me.