Hand in Hand with Fear and Pride

Aswell as getting on with it
I have been very absorbed in my own thoughts
about my self obviously
and many others
so much so that time ticks by
I am doing things productive
but not really doing them
my auto pilot did them
do I didnt really take part fully!

Out of my comfort zone at work
learning lots of new stuff
taking my feet off the ground
and the stabilisers off
is abit scary to say the least
I want to keep running back
to comfort
even though the comfort zone
doesnt really exist anymore
because its all changed
there is no going back..
it makes sense to me anyway

yet I have faith
I need to pray for my defects to be removed
why? not just because its in the steps
but because I know it works
fear and pride
I am struggling to accept that I dont know
how to do all this new stuff NOW
and its been a few weeks
so I HSOULD know it all??? wrong!
the new stuff keeps coming and coming
so yet still this fear and pride
keeps coming and coming!! its true
sitting in conscious incompetent
and exactly how its meant to be..

step 10's