No steps no change no sober

They were some very wise words
I heard early on
and they still echo on
I hear them
I hear them today
much change is happening
I don't understand it all
I don't like it all
change equals loss
could be loss of who I was
which means I have become
who I am
caught up with the present
instead of caught up in the past
I am wrestling with who I am
and also who I am not
what I want and what I do not
also who you are and who you are not
and what you do and why you do not

I do want to change you
and at the same time
I do not
I want you to be you
and I want to understand
why you do what you do
I do not want to change you
I want to change my perception
of you

I want to accept you for
who you are
what you are
what you do
what you don't do
I don't want to change you

I also don't want to
be a victim of your behaviour
I don't want to just let things go
just accept everything and say nothing
be silent and withdraw
I want to be able to ask why
I want to be able to say I don't like
I want to be able to say I disagree
I want to be able to say this is how I see it
I want to be able to say can we do it like this?
I want to be able to say no definitely not today
I want to feel pain with you
I want to be frustrated with you
I want to be joyful with you
I want to share excitement with you
I want to be able to say I am afraid
I want to be honest
I want to remain considerate
I want to remain thoughtful
I want to understand what you don't want
I want to understand what you do want

I want to remain understanding
I want to not cut you out
I do not want to be cut out
I want to grow and change
I want to accept you as you are
I want all that I want fir myself for you too
if you want it
I want all that and anything else
you may want
I need to accept you may not
grow and change
I need to accept you may not want
any of that for me
I need to accept you may not see any change is me
I need to accept you will only see what you see
I need to accept your perception is your perception
I need to accept when I am with you
I may revert
I need to accept you are imperfect and human
I need to accept I am imperfect and human

accept and forgive
passive aggression is not cool
getting angry does not solve anything
other people are not always right
get rid of pedestals
get rid of pedestals
changing circles
different people
come into my path for a reason
each day is an opportunity
for learning, listening and growth
everybody teaches me
just for today

:)
I need