Sunday, February 14, 2010

Today

You know it's only about today
yet today is as a consequence of yesterday
this week I have been resting more
real dedicated quiet time
out loud prayer time
Reading

acknowledging areas
which need work on
taking steps or a step to see what needs to be done

acknowledging God did for me
what I couldn't do for myself
if I could of, I would have
it's true
I accepted that even tho
I knew what I needed
I couldn't do it
so he took drastic action instead
so often I see in others
the opportunities to change
turn towards the easier softer way
and for me, just when I think
I have managed to have
this attitude of willingness
to go to any length
in everything
I find there is something
I can't change
because I have no faith
in this area because
to have faith requires
blindness trust in god
not a human
not me

so here I am
heading into the furnace
yet
I will not turn away
I know not what will happen
but I have faith that I will
be brought closer to God
i will be a witness to His power
his love

being shaped
old stuff being broken
new stuff being broken
some some gets strengthened

still I know that all the suffering
also brings great joy
all the recovering
brings perfect moments

sometimes I want to check out, die
sometimes sitting with it is unbearable
yet somehow knowledge of my
condition, human condition
makes it more bearable
the greats of this world
has shortcomings
mental physical
yet strong in spirit

3 comments:

Gabriella Moonlight said...

OK so I tried to post before and my computer went wonky so if you received my first comment I apologize.

My comment though is thank you for your honesty and your humanness it's important in all of life to be honest and human.

xo Gabi

An Irish Friend of Bill said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RqFXZMdpMuk

U2 - Stuck In A Moment You Can't Get Out Of

well we didnt get sober to stay numb.
Full catastrophe living
Bittersweet symphony
The unflattering view of the human condition. yes. all very humbling.

but its still a 'beautiful day'
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=co6WMzDOh1o

its everything all at once. part of the miracle of being alive. try yr best not to dwell of the negative. requires work as it doesn't come naturally to alkys. but its worth it.

Syd said...

Johno, I am glad that you won't check out but will be with us for the long haul. It is a great journey. I want to see all of it as I go along.