Monday, February 15, 2010

Went to a meeting

Worrying is unlikely to bring on a moment of clarity

isolation - the longer i stay in it
it will get me on my own and kill me

alkyd do not think like other people

it's the first drink

life isn't always happy joyeous and free

It works 

attitudes get changed not life

If u try and hang yrself
And it's not time 
The rope will snap!

going to a meeting today
Listening to others
Not happy joyeous and free
Just a real mix of humans
It changed the way I felt
I would have ripped anyones head off
it put things in a better perspective
I laughed at the insane thinking
We can all describe when we are
Not stuck in our heads 

perhaps my ego needs a further puncture
perhaps I needs to just say I can't do
perhaps I just need to accept I am tired
very very tired 

made a call to some outside help
on the issue which
I am most afraid will mess up
my future
as it continues to mess up my today's
my personal all relations
my ambition
my financial security
my self esteem
yeh pretty well everything

I now feel neutral
I now feel unlabelled
Now I want to explore
staying neutral is a cop out
not knowing is a cop out

we will not be afraid of the past
nor wish to shut the door on it

it's time
to face me
and find out
who I really am again

the truth will set me free
In all areas

But there is always a doubt
What if it don't?
Then what!
Ahh shaddap!

I'm going to do step 10's
As it's Monday I'll
Get back from living thursday

thanks you
thank you god

2 comments:

Gabriella Moonlight said...

wow, very powerful prose here and very amazingly strong message.
G

Syd said...

Good post Johno. I don't feel labeled today either. I just feel like who I am and all the wonderful stuff that is in my life is happening.