Sunday, October 12, 2008

It's happening as its meant to be - and it feels ok - continue to continue

Turn up and do my job
the way I have alwasy done my job
it was acceptable 2 weeks ago
and I have been given no instructions
to change what I am doing
or that it needs changing
a rude comment spoken to me about me
in an attempt to justify
a change being forced upon someone else
is no reason for me to believe it
which proves that other people are sick too
thank goodness I have
step 10's
understand restraint of tongue and pen
and that prayer works!
continue to continue being myself
its enough
I feel a review is required
of my performance
and relationships
a frank discussion
see exactly whats happening
from their point of view
rather that simply from mine
thats what reviews are for!

Contracts should exchange tomorrow
and a moving date will be set
I have prayed like heaven on this
to make sure its Gods will not mine
and I have not heard otherwise
so I will continue to continue
inspite of work stuff (above)
I feel like this is separate
security or no security
is no reason not put fear above Gods Will
too long story to write here
and it wouldnt help
I just feel this strength that
its going to be ok, brilliant infact
and the recent events which are
continuing, would continue
even if I stayed where I am
so I am moving!
Seaside here WE come!
thats you and me
your ALL coming with me!
if you fancy it :)

yeh really happy
1 subject clear as mud
and I have no idea why I am doing it!
blind frikkin faith required or what!
the other 2 are continuing to continue
from last semester part 2's
and i am enjoying them :)


Dad having an op... fixable old man stuff YAY!!
Me - awaiting referal for physio
Me getting fatter... not enough excersize
sometimes feel like I am overdoing it
body and head starts shutting down

feeling ok, stronger than last Monday
being controlled by some strong
Class A meditation & prayer
series of serious nightmares while sleeping
random and frequent
rather like a series of short plays
so much change for my mind to process

Strong, with fear, strong, with fear, strong

Sense of Humour
Still present, With delay at times
sometimes refusing to come out
sometimes humour needs to be obvious or i dont get it
at times mine can verge on sarcasm.. needs watching

is there anything wrong?
doesnt look like it

Back to studying
the impending doom
is all in my mind
self will run riot
and if things dont go to plan
then we make another one
for richer for poorer
for better for worse
in sickness and in health
I will do Thy will always

see ya!


AlkySeltzer said...

Wow! What a blog. JJ you sure cover a lot of territory on one page. That's the way for people to know you, and what you're about, though.

Last July 1, when I first started this blog journey, I found also, that as I write this stuff, i get to know *myself* better...and find things I should have discovered in my first Step 4, etc.

BUT..."when the teacher is ready, the student will appear", and yes, I know that's backwards! It's the only way in making a point which guarantees a double reading!

Lydia said...

You just composed one of the most insightful inventories I've ever read. Loved it! The seaside sounds wonderful and you sound ready for a change. Have a great week ahead. :)

Shadow said...

Sense of Humour
Still present, With delay at times

well that make me laugh. yip, you've still got it to give too!

Syd said...

Step 10 at its best. Thanks Johno for writing.