Sunday, October 05, 2008

When I am angry with or THINKING what appears to be non stop about someone

this is what I read and say out loud, and repeat the prayer outloud/in private/under my breath/in silence... it doesnt matter.. I do it until I feel better!
its amazing what you can learn off by heart
off by heart... :)

See page 66/67 Big Book

To conclude that other people are wrong was as far as most of us ever got. The usual outcome was that people continued to wrong us and we stayed sore. Sometimes it was remorse and then we were sore at ourselves. But the more we fought and tried to have our own way, the worse matters got. As in war, the victor only seemed to win. Our moments of triumph were short-lived.

It is plain that a life which includes deep resentment leads only to futility and unhappiness. To the precise extent that we permit these, do we squander the hours that might have been worth while. But with the alcoholic, whose hope is the maintenance and growth of a spiritual experience, this business of resentment is infinitely grave. We found that it is fatal. For when harboring such feeling we shut ourselves off from the sunlight of the Spirit. The insanity of alcohol returns and we drink again. And with us, to drink is to die.

Heres the important bit! Amended because I am saying it
If I am to live, I have to be free of anger. The grouch and the brainstorm are not things for me!. They may be the dubious luxury of normal men, but for alcoholics these things are poison.

I turned back to the resentment, for it held the key to the future. I MUST be prepared to look for it from an entirely different angle. I must be willing to see that the world and its people really dominated us. In that state, the wrong-doing of others, fancied or real, had power to actually kill ME. How could we escape? We saw that these resentments must be mastered, but how? We could not wish them away any more than alcohol.

Here's how i pray it.. This was our course: "God I realise that Fred is perhaps spiritually sick. Though I dont like Freds symptoms and the way these disturbed me, Fred, like me, is sick too"
"God to help me to show Fred the same tolerance, pity, and patience that I would cheerfully grant a sick friend. When Fred offends me, help me say to myself, "This is a sick man. How can I be helpful to him? God save me from being angry. Thy will be done."

"Help me to avoid retaliation or argument. I wouldn´t treat sick people that way. If I do, I will destroy my chance of being helpful. I cannot be helpful to all people, but at least God show me how to take a kindly and tolerant view of each and every one"

repeat through the day, everyday until the resentment has gone!
as with anything, when I am IN IT
i think I will be praying forever
and yes in somecases
I have to revisit the prayer
more often that I would like

I use it on ANYONE
who is sitting rent free in my head
for longer than I would like
how long is that?
when my life starts to become unmanageable
when I am thinking about them instead of doing whats in front of me
when my problems begin to pile up on them and
appear to become astonishingly difficult to solve
thats when.. doesnt have to be anger
can be jealous, envious, fearful, lustful, angry
towards the person

Yeh you try studying when you have someone
in your head that you dont want there!
and then I try and blame them for
wasting my study time!?
insane huh...
yep if I dont do anything about it
or think I am the only one!
thats insane :)

You be amazed how quickly I can say the prayer
it takes seconds! but it works
I do it earnestly, desparately
and I really want it to work

It works-it really does P88


Syd said...

Thanks for the reminder. Resentments are things that get me into bad territory in my head.

An Irish Friend of Bill said...

nice one. hadnt thought of that. will give it a go. thanks for sharing it