Monday, September 12, 2005

somethings occuring

Some of us have tried to hold onto our old ideas and the result was nil until we let go absolutely P58 Alcoholics Anonymous

I dont understand how i never understood what this meant before
Or i wasnt ready to do it myself
but somethings happening to me NOW
So God, you knew its was time & i could handle it
And as usual... you were right
its ok its kind of good
the ugly truth came out
i had a choice to hold onto my old ideas...
do it my miserable, lonely, secretive, dishonest way
i so have been complicating stuff

or let go of my old ideas as it says in How it works Chapter 5
i chose to try & let go of 3 people and an old old fix over a week ago
(dishonest/deluded thinking & acting)
I chose to try and grow up, let go absolutely
cutting the umbilical cord
stabilisers off
arm bands & ego deflated
open up the channel, free float directly with the spirit of the universe
stop using people & things to fix/as a solution to anything
become reliant upon a Power Greater than ouselves
i became willing on these two areas of my life
letting no person/place or thing stand in the way of my higher power
its not a sponsor that keeps me sober
its no one else either
in fact its no thing
its not my agility in reeling off the steps -
its not knowledge that keeps me sober
it is Gods will that my obsession to drink is lifted today
its a power greater than ourselves that granted me a sober day
its a power greater than ourselves thats restored me to sanity today
all i have is a daily reprieve
all i came here for was cos....
i had a problem with drink & my life had become so unmanageable
it was unbearable being me
AA have given me a solution & much more besides if i wanted it

i wanted it

I have had to let go of some pretty old ideas, because the results have been nil
they have caused me resentments & fear
Change or die
praying through the day, asking only for his will & the power to carry it out
written step 10's throughout the day like theres no tomorrow
helping others, giving freely
meetings
gratitude lists
the big books coming alive
giving time time, giving my HP time to show me his will

since letting go, am amazed
strange, uncomfortable at times,
but ultimately wonderful things have been occuring
my eyes are wide & my ears are hearing
It would be arrogant of me to ignore the signs & say they are coincidences
THERE ARE NO COINCIDENCES
How many God moments am i gonna have this week ?
Everything IS teaching me

Am truly blessed
the sky didnt fall in
good things are happening to me & to people around me
am handling stuff you wouldnt believe
even making mistakes & its ok
its like someone keeps switching the lights on and off inside me
and i like it (its all frikkin alien though)
the best is yet to come ?
how much better can it get......God ?
I am so grateful

See what happens when you hold the fork ?
ITS NOT THE FRIKKIN FORK JOHNO
God have i got to let go of the fork aswell....?

Progress not Perfection
Keep on keeping on

6 comments:

NMAMFQLMSH said...

"Am truly blessed
the sky didnt fall in
good things are happening to me & to people around me"

And good things will continue to happen to you. Keep on keeping on my friend.

Scott W said...

Really great post! Keep workin' it!

Trudging said...

Awesome post! Just keeping working the steps and doing the next right thing.

Blue said...

That post was just what I needed to read today, thank you

Phil said...

Thanks for this post. I needed it.

NMAMFQLMSH said...

O.K. you can post now. I miss you.