Saturday, February 17, 2007

As usual theres more

So thursday night I happily put my pen down
I thought I had finished my list

As per usual step 8 meeting last night
loads of top sharing on the step
me yeh finished my list

it came to me half way through the meeting
I havent listed my sexual harms DOH!!!!!

so theres more, no big deal
It takes as long as it takes

Thoroughly? honestly? yes yes
Any length ? yes

Also
physical, mental, spiritual
The heavyness in my heart is lifting
"Cough & Head cold lifting
Admitted & accepted am human being
around this tim last year i was nursing my sick mum
its her birthday on monday
this time last year she was dying

Head cold.... yeh all linked
this aint no bug, virus
this is all linked to the grieving process
the more I let go and just stop fighting the process
the easier the physical symptoms seem to be

the healing process will happen
I cant make it as painful and prolonged as I like
Thank God my step10's show me EXACTLY
where I am playing God
Exactly where I am trying to control
myself, my feelings, my tears, my thoughts and why
Fear and Pride, Fear and pride, Fear and Pride
Impatience & lots of self will

Will read step3 again tonight
I ask myself, who is in charge ?

In Step 8 I have felt a sense that I am
I am putting aside the wrongs others have done me
and writing a list of all people I have harmed
So it seems the Spiritual principle of Step 8 is
.....Forgiveness of others REGARDLESS

3 comments:

Rex said...

Great work! Remember progress not profection.

An Irish Friend of Bill said...

Nice blog johno, and nice to meet you!
Being too earnest makes it IMPOSSIBLE to be 'happy joyous and free'. The trick is to try and 'wear life like a loose garment' and not take yourself too seriously. I just do my 'lousy best', and that seems to work!
good luck with the rest of your step 8!

Blue said...

Forgiveness of others is hard, I still find forgiveness of myself to be the hardest. Bit by bit still works for me... it won't happen overnight & that is ok