Wednesday, October 08, 2008

Resentment is the No 1 offender - we have a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenence!

Tuesday was a better day
still very unpleasant and unsettling things happening
however TUESDAY
resentment still there
though I was not so trapped to imploding point
that I was Monday
I felt freer from fear and anger
and felt love, compasion and patience
towards the person
I felt it
though the resentment
the situation was the same
if anything some may say ... worse!

Today, I just got on with my whats in front of me
and had moving stuff to contend with!

You know what I did
got home and
again

Read step 3
actually I listened to it 3 times on ipod
why 3 times?
because it took that long for me to hear
what was being said
the first two times
I was listening
but thinking about the other person
my play/drama... all the actors
and situation still
the 3rd time
It penetrated! yay!

take MY inventory
Pray step 7, 3
and these VERY important prayers
let go and let God

I will

What it is that I am doing?
I am trying to run the show
even though I am virtuous
is not working!
and the result if confusion
not harmony
God is my employer
I am his agent!

I must keep My side of the street clean
I must keep My side of the street clean
I must keep My side of the street clean
I must keep My side of the street clean
I must keep My side of the street clean
I must keep My side of the street clean
I must keep My side of the street clean
I must keep My side of the street clean
I must keep My side of the street clean
I must keep My side of the street clean
I must keep My side of the street clean
I must keep My side of the street clean

AND I DID IT AGAIN TONIGHT

Praying for guidance around moving
no signs to tell me not to
inspite of much insecurity
I am continuing
at critical point in next few days
praying like f*ck around everything
prevents me
slapping my colleagues round the head
with my mouse on a daily basis
and has done for a while now
so you will NEVER persuade me
that prayer doesnt work

Uni... really really really
pleased to be back
2 continuing subjects and one new
the one new subject is as clear as MUD!
but then they all were at the beginning of each
semester last year
so I have no fear! simply acceptance..
frustration and spiritual pride!
(I should know more than this!!)
obviously

Going to bed! see ya

Enjoy... one day I want to see
the Northern Lights!
nature it is creative and beautiful
Gods own paint canvess
celestial palette!

1 comment:

Syd said...

Someone wrote on my blog to Let God and then let go. I like the reversal statement. Hope that you walk hand in hand today with God.