Sunday, November 09, 2008

Ego and Money - arrogance and greed

are these your drivers?
I have to say that
I have listened to these loud mouthed
defects, flaws, nuisances
at times
thankfully thesedays
I recognise them
not long after they infiltrate
Usually a feeling of uncomfortableness
follows after penetration!
Following them usually IS
The Road To nowhere
Its says
Well we know where we are going
but we dont know where we've been
feels abit
self willed to know where were going
and abit dishonest to not know where i've been..
I reckon God in all honesty
I dont know where i'm going
but I know where i've been!

and as soon after as possible
dig out the sting
and natural being and growth resumes
anyway I verging on digressing

God given skills
God provides
seek out the god given skills
and grow them!
and they will flourish
into a richness that no money can provide
and a fullness that no ego can bolster

Asked my lecturer to cast his eye over
my essay, like he offered to for us all
and he said on the whole covered what I needed
So I shall await the mark...
Preferring not to get into study huddles
and last minute fear driven desperate attempts
to get it RIGHT whatever right is...
apparantly there are no wrongs
its dependent upon your skillfullness
no we shall see
the hardest part WAS putting that first word
down on that blank piece of paper
taking a risk and allowing an opinion to form

We a few opinions are forming
all over the place
I think my skin is starting to thicken
as it must
the good is the enemy of the best
and as I see so often at work
and outside
ego and money are not good drivers
both linked with self will run riot
both are not about living in the present
both are not about needs
they are about wants
goodness is an inside job
and begins with honesty

More tough times at work
however and excellent review
better than the last
however I also received some
constructive feedback which I have
never received before and alwasy wanted
now I have it, I am not sure how to deal with it..
I keep switching from
well it was a crap review then
to well it cant be because overall
the mark was better than the previous
and that was highly effective...
just the feedback is something to work on

Oh well I dunno!
off to pray
and sleep
hope the wind dies down
for the morning bike ride

1 comment:

Syd said...

It sounds good about not being driven by fear with your studies. It's about learning and learning is a move toward enlightenment.