Friday, November 21, 2008

Motives - Perseverence - Obedience

Here and there, once in a while, alcoholics have had what are called vital spiritual experiences. To me these occurrences are phenomena. They appear to be in the nature of huge emotional displacements and rearrangements. Ideas, emotions, and attitudes which were once the guiding forces of the lives of these men are suddenly cast to one side, and a completely new set of conceptions and motives begin to dominate them.p27

Its time to take inventory
look at my motives
for why I do things
why I dont do things
are they working
why not
is it in keeping with spiritual principles
or driven by ego, greed, pride and fear?
self will

Even my motives for attending meetings
AA work... need a an honest look
so I am taking stock
on everything
I have too

God grant me the courage
to accept the things I connot change
courage to change the things I can
and wisdom to know the difference

Gods will and willingness
a decision to do Gods will not mine! Step 3
an extraordinary combination
required over and over aagain

Every day is a day when we must carry the vision of God’s will into all of our activities. “How can I best serve Thee-Thy will (not mine) be done.” These are thoughts which must go with us constantly. We can exercise our will power along this line all we wish. It is the proper use of the will. p85

I have had a spiritual experience this week
or is it hit a wall
tried to smash through ut
lay down surrendered
and as a result have been lifted up and over

I have also done a few things
which I am not sure that I am comfortable with
behaviours/actions that I had stopped doing
for one reason or another
are they relevant again now?
They were not helpful actions then
but after a period of abstinence
and a change on my inside
have these same behaviours/actions
now become acceptable agian to me
albeit they are not exactly the same as they were before
rightsized, trimmed down and more healthy?
more in keeping with current
healthier lifestyle...
I will come back to you on that one
too early to know and say

I hear a Joyce Meyer on the God channnel tonight
say something like
when you are following Gods will
you will get knocked down
and get up
again and again and again and again
and again and again
you may lose what seems like everything
but the rewards are so rich
when you feel like you have ended up in the wilderness
you may have actually found heaven

giving into desires
does not necessarily lead to happiness
neither does not having desires
giving in to sin, defects of character
flaws, imperfections, addictions whatever they may be
obsessive thinking, stinking thinking
leads to unhappiness

God never promised US perfection
keep on keeping on
until HE SAYS your done!

Joyce also said
you need people around to tell you the truth
tell you when you are not walking the walk
I agree, truth teller are essential
I would also add
even when I think they are wrong
the feedback is so important
because somewhere along the line
they are right!

I have heard this principle suggested to me
a couple of times now in the last 6 months
in different contexts
and I have passed it on to a couple of people

Rather like
sick as your secrets so out them
cast them out into the light
make these secrets accountable
when they are out, they lose their power

well this too can happen when
decisions are made
casting them out into the light
sharing them
making the decision real
strengthens it
and can also feel different
feel real or weak and shallow
then perhaps more prayer
or guidance as to motives may be required
my experience anyway

Had a night in tonight
I am exhausted
I cannot continue
the way I am
even the good things
are becoming detriMENTAL!
change is required

God show me what you want me to do...


AlkySeltzer said...

"...and grant me the power to carry it out." Amen.

Mama Dukes said...

how is it that what you write is just so incrdibly relevant to where I am?

I've missed you my friend.

Syd said...

I hope that those changes happen for you Johno. I'm sure that God will direct where you need to go and what you need to do.