Saturday, September 13, 2008

Rest of week has been ordinary... and something about Fear - is it/does it/ hold you back?

hence little posting!
I did have a conversation with
a good friend about fear which prevents change
and how I am getting...
more practiced
about not letting fear hold me back for so long..
and how I have learned how to become
willing to change and be changed
and become
more practiced
about embracing change
although when "seemingly" forced upon me
I reacted badly.. like tuesday
progress not perfection!

anyway here's what I wrote Sept 11th
about fear
everyone "suffers" from it
but do we recognise its
guises and symptoms
theres a ton of links in this post

there is a reason why the phrase
"crippled by fear" is still used
because it still does

Fear is also a natural part of

its my experiences
of all the following
and questions and answers
I have asked myself or been asked
and answered
I am, was, will be all of this
Human stuff

Why are there so many unfulfilled ambitions?
Angry people who..
would of been
could of been
should of been
if only
waiting for the mythical magic wand
someone else to give the leg up
waiting for it to happen
I will
I may
knocking the people who have

Or I will try and change everything around me thats
fine in my life, because I am too afraid to try
and change the thing thats not

I want this thing now
but I am not prepared to
try and do something about it
because I dont know
how it will be
I need to know it will work before I will do it

I also want this thing BUT
Long terms I wont save regularly
attend every session on the course
read and follow the instructions
take the medication exactly prescribed TIL ITS FINISHED
do the excersize regularly over a period of time
stop eating the crap over a period of time
..could be lazy, sloth or beneath that fear of success
buy that thing I deserve, pass the exam, get well, look good, feel better

Fear of failure?
what about fear of success?
that your dreams could become a reality?

Its made me THINK back! Doh!
How I spent far to many years sat
dreaming about what I would become someday
I was in the wrong job, house, relationship, clothes, body
and wouldnt it be fantastic if
and how much untapped potential there was in me
if only they knew...
they being... the world...

yet I did nothing about it! just thought about it
...for years
I knew what I wanted
dreamed it, visioned it
and decided it was never gonna happen
all within a minute or so

I will never stop dreaming
its where my life eveolves from
some of my dreams started out as your dreams
and have become my dream
some of my dreams I am not capable of YET
but many of my dreams I now find
remained out of reach
through me not taking a risk in trying
fear of it being too hard...
that I wouldnt like it
that I would have wasted my time
Fear of what you would think of me
and one I thrived on
no small northernish munky like me could possibly do that!
See how wrong I am

now I am living many of my dreams
see my dreams/life may appear ordinary to some
but to me its extraordinary

Fear does still hold me back short term
but it doesnt hold me back, prevent me moving forward
I havent got time to waste
and why do I need to?
I wasted so many years for so long
because I knew no different
Aswell I was afraid of success
like it was not something
I was worthy of or deserved?!
is this a british thing? or human?
does this come with age?
or what? who cares..! talk amongst yourselves

Simply Red - Holding back the years
"Chance for me to escape from all I know.
Holding back the tears.
Theres nothing here has grown.
Ive wasted all my tears,
Wasted all those years.
Nothing had the chance to be good"

You said great things would come to pass
and its true
dream up a desire
make a decision
then take steps
fearlessly, thoroughly and painstakingly

Nothings thats No Thing is impossible
Fear must not be a problem
nor money
nor people
nor pride
if you notice you are holding on (to fear)
let go!

and.. Dont stop telling me your dreams and ambitions
it may be the dream I am waiting for!
"If you (really) want something, all the universe will conspire in helping you achieve that dream." Paulo Coelho The Alchemist

you asked what spiritual is?
knowing who I am
being the person I am
and becoming the person I can be
is a part of it

Remembering 7 years ago today
what were you dreaming 7 years ago?
are you STILL dreaming the same dreams?
live them while you have the chance
or encourage someone else to live theirs!
it may just inspire you to start living yours

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