after study

the days after the end of a “relationship”..
for me, with my books,
I reaslised they and it took up so much of my time,
energy, thinking time, all the time.
I am out of sorts still a week on,
wondering what to do now.. somethings missing…
not true of course,
its just a time for readjustment.

things move around
it fits together
and the joins disappear again
healing in the process of change

I feel as though I have run a marathon
well at least I imagine thats how it is
I am tired
out of sorts
and dont know what to do with myself
I think I need to rest
yet aswell
getting back into life without books
is odd
apparantly this is normal

Since September last year
I have I think felt every emotion
too extremes
though nothing has destroyed the
keep on keeping on
encouragement from
fellows colleagues friends family
has helped too
yet all along
this has felt
so right
everything even the hardest hours and minutes
have felt exactly how they are meant to be

I have never (except fleetingly) wanted to stop
yes at times wondered what the heck
but never in my heart wanted to stop
this is the right direction
still feels the right direction

I am off to pray for direction
grateful today
that you had confirmed only what you already knew
and no nasty suprises
ok enough
pray
then bed!