As sick as your secrets

As Sick as your secrets

There is something about
Having and doing samples
Brings out dishonesty
Pride ad a certain amount of 
Arrogance, and fear!!

Dishonesty in that i want
To eat/drink only good atuff
While i am giving samples

Pride what will they think of me
When they see it? Test it?
They will know how i live
They will know the real me
Paranoia because really
Thesedays i eat and drink
Better than many and 
Not aswell as some
I have nothing to hide
But i can improve :)

Arrogance in thinking
I know what they are looking
For in the tests
I know how to manipulate
My intake to have a good test
Yet what the heck do i know?
Head, why do you want to 
Manipulate?
I want it straight!!

Fear in that i could have gone
Earlier and dropped of all samples
But was afraid and went back to bed
Put it off ... so sloth aswell
Yet ignorance is not bliss
Sloth does hold termites
That eat away at all the good work
All the progress
Brings up today... Fear
And a feeling of guilt
That i could have gone
To work earlier
Further dishonesty

Defects are a pain in the ass!!

I will be only as 
Sick as the secrets my body
Holds onto
Which is why i need
Experts to uncover the mysteries
The skeletons lurking!! :)

Also i am suffering 
Analysis paralysis
And need to stop
Composing blog posts
It keeps me in victim
Drama queen mode..

See i could get a call today
To say all clear!!

Then it would be simply
A virus

Reallu busy this afternoon
No time to think!
Called GP
Results not ready, call again friday
After 11am

No physical pains today!!

Going out for dinner this eve
Older couple at church
Returning my invite
A few months ago
Nice :)