Step 1 .... More about

Step 1

Vagueness
Write
Random thoughts
Old ideas
Lies
My truth
Is a lie
I believe a lie
I have been living a lie
Without knowing
I have been in the grip
Of another persons truth
Or is it my own skewed perception
Over years of not knowing
What or why
And not understanding
Any of it
What or why

Sick as secrets
Sick as lies
Sick of feeling choked
Sick of holding my breath
Sick of splitting
Sick of attaching
Sick of fantasy because i dont know how not to
Sick of looking for control
Sick of manipulating passively
Sick of feeling less than
Sick if feeling abnormal
Sick of avoiding
Sick of laughing it off through gritted teeth
Sick of feeling sick

Cyclical thinking

Also i know this is one area to work on
At the moment
To put it in perspective
I lead a very full and healthy life
Much joy and freedom
And this area is not
Stopping me taking part
I serve and i receive joy
I do Gods will alot as possible
This is is an area which
god will help me with
This is something which
I need
His help with
I need God
And support in fellowship
And from myself
Willingness openminded honesty
Humility anylength
Its an opportunity for growth
To see God work a miracle
For me to be better for
Someone else 
And glorify God

Hand in hand with the
Spirit of the universe
Holy spirit
Come upon me :)