Thursday, May 20, 2010

Self obsessed 100%

Seems when i was drinking
i was continually playing over
the day
the week
the hour
the past
the future
the present
coulda woulda shoulda
and living in continual
guilt and fear
never communicating
never asking for help
just trying
to figure out
why it happened
and what to do

i am doing lots of good stuff
living in the
present mostly
letting go so much better
accepting grace better
loving others
serving god

yet still i find time
to think about myself
what you thinks
what he she thinks
whats next
all at the same time
yet i dont worry about
all of that or live it like before
i dont sit for hours wondering
it comes in and goes out
i take what i need
and reject the rest
i do life while this chattering goes on
and much of the time
i can let it go, pass on through

yet there are a few
that even though i suffer for it
i hang onto just for so called fun
yet they keep me in the bondage

apparantly non alkys
are like this aswell
the ones that dont
are either on something
or numb
or lying
or have better things to do
than even think about all this!!

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