Thursday, March 06, 2008

Its passing... YAY! and money and inheritance

ear still on the warpath
was never promised perfect
such a little thing (my ear)
in the great scheme of things
but important
hearing, balance, ipod, communication...
I take them for granted
today I am grateful that I can hear
and my hearing is returning
and my health is stablising
I am aware this could just be a lull
but taking it a step at a time
and its ok, infact its more than ok
today has been about ear laughter
celebrating with cakes at work
for my results
and just getting on with my job
during office hours
and doing homework
and getting to uni
and not flunking tonights assessment
and I didnt!

i feel lifted
spririt lifted
ask the the Spirit of the Universe
for what you want, what you really want
and the universe will conspire to help you
the whole universe is behind me
I believe it! Paulo Coehlo

Step 11 working on it

I am coming to see that some major decisions
Life changing decisions are coming in the next 12 months
and some life changes I wanted to make in the next 12 months
make not be possible

I made some in road into moving
but its grinding and not going as easy as I thought
so I am holding back abit
it cant be the priority at the moment
or it would "flow" abit better

I have another letter regarding mum's estate
appeared this week
much as I should be grateful? the prospect of more money
its really not lifting me atall
Its alright joking about our inheritance
when our parents are alive
as all our generations seem to in our family
but when it becomes reality and it comes
it is a different matter

But it does put it in perspective again
Whose money is it all REALLY
and what it it to be spent on?
until i know, i dont spend
just continue living within my means

See is it mums, or is it mine and my brothers
or does it really just belong to the universe?
and is it to be used to stop work and study?
is it to be saved for ? my beneficiaries
my old age
my young age
someone elses?
are my earnings really mine?
what do I do with it ?
consume, spend
which puts it back in the universe again
mum earned money working, consumed, saved, died
some money goes into my bank
and out again... at somepoint whenever
into the universe again
whatever, just thoughts thats all
I need to contact them damn lawyers from last year?
be careful what "types" you hold a resentment towards
Start praying for them before the phone call

I had a resentment/fears for years about
the telephone office
and intergroup and my home group, Christians
and buddhists...
who knows one day I may become one of them damn lawyers!

now I am a happy active member of 3 out of 5
and enjoy spend time with and have friendships with Christians
and just willingly starting finding out about buddhism
after fighting for a while

It doesnt make sense does it
I dont really care anymore
the great plan
is simply off the scale of my mind
just trying to stay on rather than off plan
its so much easier conforming with god
rather than fighting

Right I am really off now
interhroup stuff to prepare for homegroup
conference topics are out
we have a 2nd group conscience tomorrow
to discuss and the out for
some smoothys to celebrate
excellent results
AA see miracles happen
there is absolutely no way this
would have happened if I hadnt turned up
and given IT ago!


1 comment:

aart hilal said...


I'm a big fan of Paulo Coelho! You will love this! He's the first best-selling
author to be distributing for free his works on his blog:

Have a nice day!