Thursday, July 21, 2005

I have no opinions on outside issues...

3people in the last couple of days have told me they are going on dates. Thats it light the blue touch paper, stand well back and watch the defects fly out... You cant do that!! Poor me am "alone" & lonely still, I want one NOW, whens it my turn, thats now how its supposed to be, cant you see?, I must be very fucked up still cos I havent got one, I want a shag... blah blah. See them ? Yeah so can I what a load of dangerous bollox. No wonder I drank, I never knew what to do when I felt like this, I couldnt tell anyone, the tapes played over and over just for my own pleasure (misery).

All this stuff didnt mess up my days, I havent been running tapes through my head, beating myself up. I got on with my work. Inspite of the defects taking over my first thoughts. The seconds were slightly different. Different for each one, but especially to myself. Mind My own business, I have no opinions on outside issues.... apart from the fact that I am no expert, my last first date was the start of co-dependent (with good times :-) relationship lasting over a decade, prior to that a number of teenage drunken slobbering sessions. So who am I to think of giving advice on first dates. Anyway, no one asked my opinion. Let go.

3 busses, 1 hour on Shank's Pony 2hours later got home, very tired, but the walk was enjoyable, preferable to being crammed in & pressed against the bus doors, like the poor sods that were passing me on the way home.

expect the unexpected.

At least I got home this evening, unlike those two weeks ago

Note to me. First things First. Finish your Step 8.

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