Sunday, July 17, 2005

Mistaken identity

Having spent yesterday, doing a chair, sunbathing, reading & snoozing in the park, i trekked back down home. I noticed a fellow AA who works around there. I often see her & wave hi etc passing through. This time, I stopped and asked her if she would be at the meeting, she looked at me a little strange & said what meeting. She then went on to tell me that "if Elaine thinks she is going out again tomorrow evening instead of having dinner, then she has another thing coming"

Strangely at that (Who the fuck is Elaine) moment... i got this feeling that this person was not infact my fellow AA, but a very good look alike. Luckily someone came up and spoke with her, so I backed off. I have absolutely no idea who Elaine is. Who is this woman I have been passing the time of day with for a few months now ? & do I also have a "Spitting Image" (if so am i the puppet or the human?) trudging the streets? Who is this Elaine anyway? Did she get out of that family dinner ?

Some of the answers will be revealed later.... the rest will just make me smile me each time I see this woman... Will I will continue to pass the time of day with her. Even though she is not who I thought she was, I cant really put her back in the complete stranger category. No harm in just saying hello with a smile from a distance.... is there?

Town was manic, i am in awe of the lengths people go to to dress up, especially in this heat. I hit a patch of loneliness passing through, even though I was walking to a meeting. It stemmed from some envy, that a friend was the other side of town with all her mates out of the fellowship, clubbing. And me "poor me" was missing out on something. Truth is, I didnt like clubs, so get over it. Almost immediately, I saw a stray unlit, untrodden on cigarette on the pavement and for a split second, the nicoteen fairy whispered in my ear "Go on..Pick it up, you know you want to" But I didnt, just kept walking, flicking the fairy off my shoulder as I went. Resentments are destructive.

It always amazes me the power of "Going for coffee after a meeting". I asked a crying woman to come for coffee, when all I wanted to do was go home, turned out to be a lesson that "faith must be accompanied by self sacrifice and unselfish, constructive action" (Alcoholics Anonymous Page 93) Even though I have no experience in her problem, my experience is that the tools I have been given inAA & by my Sponsor, work in any of my situations. Somehow, I managed not to give her any advice on her problems, i just suggested how she could use the spiritual tools to remove the problem, giving her space to figure out the solution. Bloody 'ell its working.

Thats it, enough, I've Blogged on, as was suggested by my wise old sponsor ... let go, let go, let go, go do some step8, NOW

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