Doing nothing is acceptable and study

At work
we are not busy
I keep asking for more work
amongst my peers
amongst my branch
all over really
and I am getting irrritated being the one asking for more work
is it me?
or do some people naturally just do very little
and not think about it?

A few years ago my case load was inhuman
and it was overmanic
everyone was the same and it calmed eventually
I came here and its so laid back
verging on .... dare I say it boring, now a doddle???
I hate saying easy money but its what it feels like
The fact I dont get pay rises
in a way I feel I am overpaid at the moment

The world! as in management and peers
knows I am willing to do more
so I guess I have to just accept
that its ok
now I am getting scared incase i get made redundant
yet its not been mentioned ever
talk about
overanalysing and worrying ?
yes
self will again?
yes

see I then start to query what other people do?
or are not doing?
and khow much money is wasted through
people working at a snails pace
because there is no measure
of how productive people are
I am telling you
pre menstrual tension does not help!
I was really glad at 5 o clock
to get out of there
being paid to sit and think?
Mind my own flippin business

Back at uni tonight
really excited!!! yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah
the lecturers are really encouraging and enthusiastic
and sympathetic to part time students
and they have a sense of humour!
I am lovin it
they finished us early tonight
and on the way home
walked past an AA meeting which was still on
and caught up with a few friends
met a newcomer
just had a bath
and I am going to bed

I am grateful
even with all this
I have laughed
I am making plans... not scheming, really plans
I am productive
I am useful
and I turn up
any self pity is of my own making

WE made our own misery....

Grumpy? yes i guess I am
I want to be busy LOL
Acceptance johno, learn how to do nothing
in an honest fashion, its allowed
while your boss says it is!

its exactly how its meant to be
at the moment!