Friday, April 25, 2008

Don't quit before the miracle

The module I am not clear about
had a really suprising twist last night

20% is on seminar participation
most of the marked seminars
I was completely wiped out
in the early weeks
in fear
going through the motions
one week
feeling the f*ckit button heavy
had answered I dont know
without even trying
i really couldnt be ass'd
exhausted mentally and physically
the rest of the time
I have done my best and turned up
even when I haven been able to do
all that was asked of me
I have tried
anylengths on any given day!!

marked 95% for seminar participation
hows that for encouragement
the "f*ckit" seminar
did not lose me 5%
it was the lowest and wasnt taken into account
I really have no idea how it works
and its probably a good idea that I dont
my marks got higher as the weeks went on

More evidence
put in the footwork let go of the outcome
anylengths is anylengths
it is not perfection
its anylength

They said keep turning up
do the work we set
if you havent done the work
turn up anyway

So I have and do

ok 3-4 weeks remaining
head down
no looking up
no listening to fear
no resting on laurels
no taking things too seriously
no doing anything destructive
listen to the instructions
and just f*ckin do it

and I did another
9am start
thats 3 this week
progress and a miracle at the same time!
ok i'm off to home group
have a fabulous weekend!

1 comment:

Syd said...

Keep it up Johno. You'll be done with school soon but the program is for life. Thank goodness for that. I'll never "graduate" from Al-Anon. It's for life for me.