Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Like clockwork - set your clock Johno - take responsibility from today

28 days ago

tuesday 28 days previous

3 months evidence is enough!

I have managed to get someones back up
amends have been made

I am not perfect at restraint of tongue and pen
though I do try

BUT I have not kept a check on my pmt
therefore I take a certain amount of reponsibility

even though I am aware of how destructive
my tongue and pen and keyboard
can be during this time

Flippin 'eck
the road gets narrower

when I know better
I really do have a responsibility
to do better!!!

The innocent deserve to be protected!
how much longer do I want to spend
taking my own inventory on this same old same old?
not much!!
then Do Not delay!

ok, enough analysis - THERE IS A SOLUTION!
Do I have a desire to stop all this
this randomness and lashing my keyboard/tongue/attitude
when I know damn well what causing it?
Yes I have a desire!

Take steps & hand it over to a power greater than me!
1. pmt screwing my thinking & my tongue & keyboard became unmanageable
2. do i believe it will make a diference if I diarise ? yes
3. Am I willing to diarise it and take responsibility
now I know what the solution is? yes
4. what is the root cause of all this? sloth and self will
I havent bothered & I think I can remember
5. I've told you & god
6. Am I willing to hand it over to the diary and do the right thing? or continue in the way I have been? yeh I want to change the things I can
7. Will I hand over all of me including my sloth and self will to God? yes
8. have I harmed anyone? yes
9. am I willing to make amends? yes I did already
10. will I continue to do this and if I dont, admit it? yeh ok!!
11. will I continue to seek out gods will in all areas and the power to carry it out? yes
12. Now I know how it works, will I pass it on, and practice these principles on all my difficulties in all my affairs? yes

I still have no desire... hmm when i was writing that I suddenly realised I am starting to have the desire to get in to work for 9am, cos I am theres abit of me that is wanting it and its growing. I am still praying twice a day for the willingness to change my attitude to 9am starts by the way. Both Monday and Today 9am starts!

There is no way anyone is going to convince me that praying doesnt work or there is no God!

The gifts of sobriety
progress not perfection


Syd said...

Glad that you are willing and aware. I like being aware of what I am doing. I used to just go along and not realize the harm that I was doing. Now I stop, take an inventory, and can make an amend.

Kathy Lynne said...

I guess I should probably print this out and carry it around with me. Referring to it at all times of the day especially at work....

good for you on the 9 am starts.

Shadow said...

recognising is half the battle. forward we go....

The First Domino said...

"There is no way anyone is going to convince me that praying doesnt work or there is no God!

I didn't worry last night that the sun wouldn't rise this morn;

That I wouldn't take a deep breath of air today to fill up my lungs.

And when I looked out upon the morning sky,

I could have sworn I saw an angel passing by.

I like your twelve steps to a better you--principles designed to recreate yourself or maintain the self you've already chosen.

Either way: What a joyous act of self-creation: to become the greatest concept you've ever held of who we are, or who you wish to be.