Honesty must not be used as a weapon
Is something my sponsor passed onto me
It is a sponsor instruction that springs to mind often along with
The rule is we must be hard on ourself, but always considerate of others.P74
Honesty is so important, an essential
If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking, you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic. P44
There are those, too, who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest. P58
But they had not learned enough of humility, fearlessness and honesty, in the sense we find it necessary P73
Nothing counted but thoroughness and honesty P65
Most emphatically we wish to say that any alcoholic capable of honestly facing his problems in the light of our experience can recover, provided he does not close his mind to all spiritual concepts P570 Spiritual Experience
Willingness, honesty and open mindedness are the essentials of recovery p570 Spiritual Experience
Belief in the power of God, plus enough willingness, honesty and humility P13
if he has accepted our solution which, as you know, demands rigorous honesty P145
But it can be damaging to self and others
if it is driven by defects
I now know the difference
Between
Being honest, with self seeking
needing your approval
Being partially Honest, driven by fear
scared shitless at the same time
fear of what you think or what will happen
Being honest, driven by vengefulness
a weapon, to make someone suffer
Nowadays I try not to do the above
I try to practice
Being honest, driven by love
sharing of experience
Being honest driven by an desire to be helpful
Being honest with an desire to grow
if I am honest with myself,
I get to know
where I am at
and so do you
Big Book suggests for a difference of opinion..
Just be careful not to disagree in a resentful or critical spirit. P117
Speaking, writing honestly in any shape or form nowadays,
is abit like Step5 on an ongoing basis
I get to hear what it sounds like
and my conscience reacts accordingly
I cannot find out the truth
just by thinking, and reading my mind
I need a "Needle gun" of sorts
a shot blaster, a Power tool
inventory and prayer are a very god start
We took stock honestly P67
But He has come to all who have honestly sought Him P57
How other people react to what I say
Is none of my business
I try and keep my motives good
(as pure as they can be is any given moment)
If someone is hurt or offended or any other
thing that comes as a result of my honesty
its upto them to say
people (including me) can assume alsorts
I dont know what I dont know
and I dont know where you are at
do I need to ? I dont know that either
If I dont know what to do
I will say I dont know what to do
be honest in what my problem is
I wont expect people to mind read I that need
help, just because my problem is defect driven
eg. If I am frightened, I will say am frightened and I
need help with...
obviously I am careful who I disclose this stuff too
If I dont know what the problem is
initially sponsors helped me get to the bottom of it
nowadays its inventory and prayer
and then sponsor and or whoever/whatever seems to be the best resource
What I do know is
the hardest thing to accept
about improving on the personal relations
is that I am Powerless over where you are
at any given moment with your stuff
I do not use honesty as a weapon
Trust me
Take care
with love
Johno
Page refs Alcoholics Anonymous big Book
3 comments:
told you I'd be back. I like this post a lot--particularly the bit about not liking honesty used as a weapon.
finding someone completely armed with the facts about themselves and having a strong grounding in the life tools and how to use them is so important. I found this in AA, someone willing
to pass on these tools, & gave me a jump start start in when & how to use them. Sponsors are messengers. Gifts
life is utterly uncontrollable. you just have to get used to the uncertainty. there are no 'sure things'.
that's why you just have to do your lousy best. but yeah, the more you examine life, the more scary it looks, because you see all the opportunities to F*** it up. but that's what being self aware is. itc scary. it would be easier to have ones head in the sand. but that's the only way to move forward. don't agonize. just do your lousy best, and the rest will take care of itself. but it is good that you are aware of the importance of motive as that colors EVERYTHING we say or do whether we like it or not. oh well.
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