Wednesday, January 02, 2008

A new years decision - You are what you eat... H.A.L.T.

the last 12 weeks
I have really seen how
DIET thats diet generally, not the slimming kind
really affects me positively
mental, physical and ultimately spiritually

I have made a decision
and accept it will be progress not perfection
to make a serious effort in changing
and improving what I eat

I have to say, I do eat better than most
however there are improvements which can be made

I used to eat 90% organic
convincing myself it really did balance out
all excessive vodka and wine
even organic... natural ? wines P31
well it did balance it... didnt it?

Pre recovery, I ended up malnourished
with no diet really
just eating barely enough
not unlike many practicing alkys

Early recovery
I was afraid to go in supermarkets
the booze aisle shouting out COME AND GET IT
I relied on takeaways KFC's and sandwiches
anythings better than nothing

When I did get my enthusiasm for cooking
resentment set in
I couldnt add redwine or alcohol to anything
even though some say it cook out
(its my choice... I have to live with my head)
so I didnt do anything

A couple of years ago
I realised... one of those God moments
that I didnt have to change everything
Just try with breakast
So I set out on a hunt to find a breakfast
I like which is "healthy"
And I still eat tat breakfast today
Its £4 a box
But to me, its pretty worth it
I like it, I eat it and its good for me
I have to warm the soya milk up
cos I am ? whatever it dont matter
whetver gets me eating healthy
Just 'uckin do it!
Cold milk is not attrcative to me first thing in the morning
So why FORCE myself
I have to make eating enjoyable to me
or I dont do it! its true

Do I eat a healthy breakfast every day?
No but I do eat breakfast everyday
either before I leave
at work
or grabbing something unhealthy before 10am
mostly its the healthy option
as I have more time and take more time
on being good to me
and I do say no to the unhealthy option more
Am blessed at work to have
fridges and cupboards micro's and dishwashers
so there is no excuse really
but I accept progress not perfection
so I blame no-one if H.A.L.T.
HUNGRY leads to brainfuzz
or easily distracted or self pity
or oversensitiveness

Where am I going with this?
less meat
more veg or the like
I definitely feel better

I spent the last 2 weeks
with carnivores to the extreme
holiday season in Sth Africa
is Braai's big style meat meat meat
thankfully there was a vegetarian
in amonsgt us so I got balance

But it made me think
I don't want to randomly hit and miss
the other 2 meals or the other stuff I eat
I need and would like more structure

The eating right for your type
depending on your blood type
diet keeps popping up
so am looking into this at the moment
and will let you know how I get on

Did I go to any meetings out there
Did I miss it ?
I dont think so
Yeh I could have gone to do service
But I realise service doesnt just happen in meetings
I help the newcomer plenty and will continue to
I feel no guilt. Do I?

step 10's and prayers
a heap of tools, like
restaint of tongue and prayer
praying for people
letting go of defects
an attitude of service
obviously the essential mental defence
which has and is in place

Usually I gag to get back to a meeting
post holiday
a feeling I have to
but not this time
Am I cured ? no definitely not
but the need for a meeting to get me back
in... in to what? am note sure of that either
on track, into routine, grounded I suppose
am not sure I havent been grounded all the way
through these few weeks
practicing with the tools I had
and trusting God at all times
Not taking risks
and trying to be of maximum helpfulness
at all times
even if that meant stepping away from a situation
and washing up and a unearthly hour
I returened with a different head
and there were was clean dishes in the morning
I love the win win actions

I definitely think being reminded
I am powerless over alcohol
Not sick anymore
has changed my thinking yet again
mobile phones and text/sms's
means the fellowship is always near

Anyway enough for me
I'm off to roast some veg
its cold and wintery here
I have been back and took a bag of
clothes to the charity shop
thrown out a few things
and stocked up my fridge
and thrown out a few old ideas

So the decision has been made
Step 3 on this area of my life
Turned it over and willing to improve
2008 a year of being good to me
Cos i'm worth it

Turn it up loud
and enjoy
Recovery rocks!!
So does Tina ... Go Girl
Better be good to me

1 comment:

Christine said...

I tried the blood type diet hell I've tried many many diets. Today I always eat breakfast--protein, veggies, whole grains. Do well for lunch here in the office. Its dinner I have to get manageable now. Its a process. And exercise. Back to exercise. Maybe I'll wait for some warmer weather