Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Study - I need a Prayer but not Pity please and H.A.L.T.

Started a study group this week
its off the ground
and already I see its benefiting
talking things through out loud
in a group helps
motivating too
me and a few others
set a few ground rules
like no a time to do each others homework!
and the next modules havent even started yet!
Way Hay!!

Prayer not pity for me please
I have a couple of physical issues going on
As in previous times
DO NOT DELAY in taking action is the key
One is regarding an old injury which has become
inflamed, and I have to rest or not aggravate
The other is same old same old...
Mind and spirit up for the challenge of new modules
Body really isnt interested
And its reacted... THEYRE BACK
Breast lumps ARE back
I have been kinda half knowing this the last couple of days
I check myself regularly as
cancer and breast cysts are in our family
and in me on several occasions in the last 4 years
cysts and lumps that is
Tonight in the shower cubicle at the gym
I checked yet again, seriously
and then prayed
"God whats going on? Why me, again is it cos
I can handle anything with you and I know it?
I dont want to suffer and die. I want to study and work
please, what is it you want me to do and i'll do it,
but just at this moment I am not pleased with your timing"
God said make a phone call in the morning
God said dont worry about work
God said just do it

God said trust me
AGAIN no self pity around... its true
I am frustrated cos its just something else
I HADNT PLANNED in MY self centred ideas of how it should be!

A couple of phone calls tomorrow
Get the ball rolling, just like before
possible x-rays,
possible ultrasound or whatever they call it,
possible needle in to take a sample,
possible another visit
or he could just say after examining them
dont worry, you have a lovely pair of breasts
haha Dr's dont say that really, except.... in my dreams!
I can think of a number of jokes regarding
being long time single and going to
anylengths to get my breasts "examined"
but i wont!

But I will ask how seriously do you take
Breast and Testicular cancer?
Do you check regularly for lumps and changes?
In yourself or your partner?
Why not?

Nowadays many people do recover...

Please pray for me health and healing and the strength to be shown Gods will and the Power and strength to carry it out.

Why do I write all this personal stuff?
Why not? It helps me see how the principles work
all over the place, in ALL my affairs
It also helps me process what goes on
it also helps me see how progess is made
it also helps me see how grown up I am becoming
or how laid back I am about what was once a big deal to me!
Who knows it may help somewhere along the line
I am not the only one I know, by reading your blogs
But this is about today and whats happening with me today
I think it comes easy, cos I am so honest
I am far less fearless of what people think of me
and I am far less afraid of myself

I have noticed that when I dont eat breakast
or my meals are not at certain times
I crave the junk that I have not missed hardly
when I have eaten from the cookbook
Eat well and junk need not be a problem, it seems

See ya

Oh yeh, this for me is what being sober is all about
being fit mental, physical and spiritual
enough to run with ANY challeges life throws
yeh a change of diet, yoga, gym, eating, studying, working
holidays, resting, meeting, helping others, intergroups
Life IS Good! BUT Its not my business to put ANY conditions
on what I will and wont do for God, with God
to me, He is all powerful, so I have to put this to the test
in my own way, MY part of all this is to
try and fit my will along side Gods
and His job is... well I have absolutely no idea
Faith must be unconditional and unknowing

Why me?
Why not


Syd said...

I don't like pity either. It has been hard for me to not ask for help when I need it but I've learned that it's best for me to consider that I'm powerless over many things. Hope that you get to a doc to be examined.

Kathy Lynne said...

My prayers are with you and definately not pity. You are too much of an inspiration to me for pity!! Go to the doctor now!!

molly said...

gurrrrllll - please keep me posted. i'm thinking about ya