Physical Health and God (as I understand Him)

Physical Health
Very Good news
Lump is reducing and not painful
its just there
I am very tired though
Worrying internally
even though I am letting go
or trying to anyway !
taking it a little easier
and carrying on at the same time
externally

Kathy made me think about
God in her post today
I always wanted to be some kind
of spiritual, good person, wise ?!
but had no idea how the hell to get there
I spent alot of time thinking about
retreats, prayers, meditation, yoga, tai chi
and fleetingly tried many of these and more
but didnt STICK at anything
I didnt keep coming back
Or I assumed because I didnt GET it
after 1 time it wasnt for me
or I wasnt good enough
or other people were better at it
or it would take too long to learn
I couldnt commit
I wouldnt work for what I wanted

AA has given me a desire to commit
to honesty, willingness, openminded, humility
forgiveness, integrity, love, discipline
a desire to keep coming back to classes
to prayer, to yoga, to inventory
to meetings, church even
a desire to devote time and effort
into God, well improving my relationship
with Him
Some minute by minute, some daily, some weekly
some monthly, some yearly
I am committed

Its true Kathy, without AA I would not
have done these and found the love and desire
that I have to continue and improve
my relationship with Him
I would/may have remained alone in my search
floundering and hopeless
dying alone... one would say

I love AA, for helping me find God and myself

But he had found God-and in finding God had found himself P158

Thanks Kathy x