Monday, January 28, 2008

Physical Health and God (as I understand Him)

Physical Health
Very Good news
Lump is reducing and not painful
its just there
I am very tired though
Worrying internally
even though I am letting go
or trying to anyway !
taking it a little easier
and carrying on at the same time

Kathy made me think about
God in her post today
I always wanted to be some kind
of spiritual, good person, wise ?!
but had no idea how the hell to get there
I spent alot of time thinking about
retreats, prayers, meditation, yoga, tai chi
and fleetingly tried many of these and more
but didnt STICK at anything
I didnt keep coming back
Or I assumed because I didnt GET it
after 1 time it wasnt for me
or I wasnt good enough
or other people were better at it
or it would take too long to learn
I couldnt commit
I wouldnt work for what I wanted

AA has given me a desire to commit
to honesty, willingness, openminded, humility
forgiveness, integrity, love, discipline
a desire to keep coming back to classes
to prayer, to yoga, to inventory
to meetings, church even
a desire to devote time and effort
into God, well improving my relationship
with Him
Some minute by minute, some daily, some weekly
some monthly, some yearly
I am committed

Its true Kathy, without AA I would not
have done these and found the love and desire
that I have to continue and improve
my relationship with Him
I would/may have remained alone in my search
floundering and hopeless
dying alone... one would say

I love AA, for helping me find God and myself

But he had found God-and in finding God had found himself P158

Thanks Kathy x


Shadow said...

what rang very true for me, is that bit about inner peace. how can one thing be so attainable yet elusive at the same time...

Syd said...

If there isn't recovery then it's hard to enjoy the things in life that make it worth living.

Kathy Lynne said...

No johno, thank you! Today I got to experience what missing my morning prayer can bring. So thanks for reminding me of where I really am. Grateful and blessed. Deepening my connection to God. Which will bring me to that inner peace shadow is looking for. Good to hear about your health. xo

molly said...

you are sounding good! good to "see" you today :)