Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Studying stuff

The future I dont what it will be like, how much money I will earn, or anything til I get there, or whether I will be able to do whats required...

I have no idea what the future holds I know that I have been given this opportunity, and its my job to do the work set and its VERY exciting. I have absolute faith that whatever I will be given, I will be able to handle it, whether it be a 6 figure salary or not! I cant imagine what any of it will be like, I almost darent go there. As long as I am driven by Good and not defects or my own thinking, it will all be flippin' amazin! I KNOW ITS GONNA BE AMAZIN, EXCITING AND THE BEST EVER WHEN i GET THERE!! I know what I think I would like, but then I knew what I thought I would like and be like 4 years ago, in 2008. And I am and it is MUCH better, I have VERY limited thinking at time. But not as limited as some people I know, God has opened my mind and I try and live with out limited on God Power.

I have absolute faith its going to be amazing, the future. I have no idea what it will be like though!

Self will run riot and lots of reading of step 3 in the big book, all of it. Especially at the moment when there is no set timetable... its all about me, self discipline, doing the work when there is no one cracking the whip. Exam, I have to revise and attempt it, I have decided I will not get a good mark, so I will leave the revision til the last possible moment, to justify it, and tell myself I will do it different next semester... instead of just getting on with it now.

Its easy for me to start predicting the future and daydream in today

Just do today, then do the next week, and then the week after.

Otherwise I do nothing, which is what I want to do... its actually sabotage myself.

Fear and sloth... the termites that sabotage the new life we are building... Predicting the future and all its holds, is NOT helpful in today, is it?

Keep it simple...
No need to be scared, of money, prestige and property... its what I do with it and my attitude to it that really matters (in my opinion)

Money is not evil. Arrogance and grandiose exists even in those without, who sit in judgement of those who do, without really knowing what they do with it.

There will always be some who are grandiose, with and without money. Having had a spiritual awakening we have the choice thesedays as to our attitude, ideals to work towards, continue and improve on.

We had a 2nd year give us 1st years a load of tips over coffee yesterday...

Stop thinking and just do it Johno.

Action more action. Enjoy the next bit of the journey.

For me, right now, I am in the darkest hour... just before the dawn, which will come after the exam on Thursday!

Thanks IFOBW you made me think, and just its an excuse to not study again tonight!

This is a friend of mine, he and his family are so lovely and he is a very humble, interesting and quirky. He also has flaws too. I aspire to be a little like him at the moment, but then really I would be just as happy to be myself. God is taking care of shaping me up nicely, when I let him!

I am not afraid, just driven by sloth and self will! at the moment.

And I have a resentment... intergroup tomorrow, how dare it disturb my study!! see how dishonest my thinking can be... Its not intergroup that stopps me studying.

I need to get over myself and just get on with it!

3 comments:

Shadow said...

what a nice post! so very true. and just what i need to hear today. feeling kinda lethargic... too much sleep last night i think.

Christine said...

praying for you on Thursday of you rdarkest hour--exam. You are in God's loving Hands Just keep on doing the next right thing and staying out of the future--you've got it right I know you do
xxoo

Syd said...

Money and power in themselves aren't evil but it's how men abuse these that can become evil.