AN EXTENDED version of a COMMENT I made
An Irish Friend
following her question on my post yesterday
Would I be offended if you called me an 'awl fecker?
I dunno now do I ?
now you have warned me you might
I am prepared and I will laugh now if you do
Cos you have told me it would be a term of endearment
So I dont know if I would have been offended before
Is the truth
i've never been called it before
I'll just add it to the VERY long list
"pet/nicknames" names I bin called in the last 40 years
by people that kinda like me
Its a long time ago that I was at school
being hunted down and constantly being verbally attacked
and bullied by "the other kids" not good for self esteem
Even now when I think of them names
they still cause my heart to sadden.
Nowadays, I seem to be surrounded by people
who want the best for me & have no reason to "attack" me
with name calling, or derogatory stuff,
so name really is ok really to try out, try it
these days, most people that call me
by anything other than my own,
which is practically every one I know
even manage to slip in swearing and allsorts
and it just goes over my head... I dunno why we do it,
(i do it to dude!!)
Well I think I know why I do it..
Catch me when am rsentful
and even hearing my own name mentioned will cause me to tut
not cos I dont like my name
just that my "self obsession" has been interupted
and am not impressed LOL
Dont know if that answered your question?
Oh theres more...
Any new name that I get called
takes a while to become accepted by my brain
as it has to have time for me to "shrug" off
ANY preconceived ideas & predjudices
I usually have about it
Like, immediately I think
"am I being called that because I am that ?"
I will ALWAYS initially see the name that
I am being called it as a negative (the first thought)
Nowadays I then HAVE to trust that the person saying it
is NOT taking the P*%s out of me or being patronising
well they maybe abit, but not in the nasty way kids did
people nowadays are just being friendly
a little more intimate than when I first knew them
and SOMETIMES it NOT about me atall
they say it to everyone NOT JUST ME (the great me)
OR is it cos they are feeling insecure in themselves
and that choose a "pet" name to slip in, as it ?
looks like they are then being intimate (friendly) with me
because thats what they are wanting to do
kind of testing our boundaries
ie no longer wanting to be just people that interact
wanting ? it to become a little ? more
take it to another level like
Nothing sinister or weird tho
just seems to happen like that
when people get to KNOW ME
they seem to stop calling me by my name
and choose their own. Its ok I suppose.
(this is what I seem to do with people
as they turn into friends too)
I am aware that I dont SAY many peoples
names or nicknames except
in the written word
It is someting I fall short with
As I know how my heart jumps (not in a needing way)
its like it just pays attention again cos
its me thats being addressed
(me only me)... sounds like a song there (you only you)
some people just have a knack of dropping my real name
in a conversation or a dialogue and it brings it to life
i am still how to do that
if i feel more connected to the other person
then it must also work for some people
the other way around for them too
Its something about learning intimacy with friends
learning how to be a friend, whether in person
blog, phone, across miles or whatever
not being patronising, deepening a friendship takes work
knowing when to push forward and grow it
knowing when to leave it as it is
its a tuffy
worth a try though
Willingness to call and be called pet names
in a loving way, not patronising
thats what I meant, not in a patronising way.
It kind of shows when people are being patronising
(see how my words changed?)
it changed from frineds back to people (less intimate)
patronising isnt friendly
Getting over the cringe factor of some of them names
can take a while as some names hold major predjudices of old
Like accepting that when she calls me "babe"
its cos thats, just what she calls everyone she likes
and feels comfortable with,
and I have to accept,
I am part of that everyone she feels comfortable with
I often cringe when she calls it me
which is most mornings
(what a way to start my working day)
but its getting easier.
"Babe" to me conjours up
stick like bimbo with no brain, and
paints her nails and
wears very little, and
or Pig in the City.
NEITHER are HER idea of "Babe"
of the two, I prefer the second one, its more me !!
What she is just doing is exchanging the word
"babe" for "friend" so if I dont accept the word babe,
I am not accepting the word friend...
well thats how I see it anyway, and it is how it is
Can you call me anything ?
well yeh I cant stop you
if something goes completely against everything I am,
then will I ask to not be called it and say why,
as it upsets me.
Thats it really..
Question answered ?
you 'awl fecker, you old 'ucker...
I prefer 'awl fecker, it sounds friendlier...
Irish Friend, are, you STILL under that bleedin' parapet,
get your ass out ere and blog something!!
OMG theres more
I dont agree entirely with the
overseas language barrier thing
I just see its a matter of whose saying it
and who its being said to
the motive behind it
and receivers "Fitness" to receive
Email, text, blog can be very emotionless
And as with speaking in tongues
anything can seem offensive
if we're right in a oversensitive moment
like most of us can be
not all of us have the tools
or the selotape to stick over our mouths
or the Courage to say, please dont say that
BEFORE it gets to unbearable screaming pitch
I like the :)'s rather than a name
or I pick dude, which is ? relatively middle of the road
I am aware some people would get the hump
if I threw in a dude, but thats just me
your a dude UNLESS YOU TELL ME OTHERWISE
dont sit with a resentment its pride in action
Dude is my most natural term of endearment
AT THE MOMENT
and in person as well "Dude" and "Lovely"
this is to male and female
I love it when someone calls me "lovely"
an i dont say it loud and embarrasingly
just friendly loving is enough
well thats all "lovely" :)
thanks for inspiring todays post
I seem to have a backlog of posts
waiting to happen !!
I'm off to bed