Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Mums Will not Mine be done - Tradition 6

6. An A.A. group ought never endorse, finance or lend the A.A. name to any related facility or outside enterprise, lest problems of money, property and prestige divert us from our primary purpose.

Ok, I am not an AA group
this is only my interpretation
of how I use this Tradition
in this area of my life today
This is not AA endorsed
Just a share of my experience
Of what helps me

With Will (thats Mums not mine)
have written out a first draft of the division
as I see it
will go over it again later
and send it off to brother
Strip to basics
Whats in the estate
how much is liquid
and how much isnt (groan)
BEFORE veering off
These things are rarely straightforward

If we could predict when we were gonna die
We would rewrite our wills just before
I am sure
Even then it wouldnt all fit with those left behind
I am sure

Thank God for Tradition 6
Its not my money, its a gift
For me, I have in the last few years
Has a closeness with my brother
across the miles that I never had before
and its lovely and gets stronger
he's even on facebook now LOL

With the help of Tradition 6
I will try and not let
Money, Property and Prestige
Divert me from my primary purpose
In this area of my life
Executing Mums will
Taking into account
what she did with "her estate"
post will
and before she died
and my brother
and his ex
and our neices/children
and me

In this area of my life
Being an responsible executor
But not a megalomaniac
Being a beneficiary
but not a victim
Doing the right thing TODAY
As opposed to what the will says, when it was written
Trying to walking a mile in my deceased mums shoes
with the help of my DAD, his fiance, mums best friend
my brother, his ex
and my own knowledge, and spiritual principles
Prayer and God
Not putting money before Love
I love my brother more than I love money its true
I would give all this money to him rather than lose him

I would rather let go of all the money than my sobriety
over a resentment, thank God for Step10's and Prayers

Fighting over this
Is not Mums Will
lying down, legs in the air and doing the dying fly
Is not in Mums will either

Thats how it is today, its real
Money is right sized, its true
First though is... I want my share, all of it, I cant wait for it
and my mental defense God kicks in any says
well its only money, a gift from your Mum
and what you gonna spend it on TODAY ?
Needs not wants Johno (Stella ;)
Love and Service and Tradition 6

Setting and example
Confronting whats written
without aggression or fear
without greed
without arrogance, rigidness
Confronting what we are dealing with
even though its abit messy
Its not as bad as some peoples estates I hear

Thankfully I dont feel a victim in all this
Nor do I feel that I have all Power
Just gratitude for trying out this stuff
on yet another area of my life
which will undoubtedly help me
and my brother and the kids

The fact that I have a large sum of money in my account
and I dont have a cash card to draw any money from it
cos I lost it, last week...

I dont think so God

yeh am dealing with this grown up like
as it should be
no running, no spending before its sorted
no doing things without
full agreement with brother
being transparent with it all
no woolly figures
all exact (as it can be)
no fear no limits
no victims, just volunteers
Its lovely

the will states x
due to whats happened since the Will being written
and before death
means that to rigidly stick to
"I want my share"
would be time consuming and costly
peoples homes to be sold
lives turned upside down
inorder to rigidly say
this is what am due

Read to the end of Tradition 6..
heres how it works for me

But Johno they tell me
you are due your share...
we wouldnt have written the will like that...
the money shouldnt have got spent like that...
he must give up some of his share...
they are his kids not your problem....
he always gets what he wants...
my old ideas agree

old ideas no longer match my perfect ideal
Spiritual principles do match my perfect ideal
and I love what they already have done for me
and I trust they will for this too
And acceptance is the answer...
Whats written is done... cannot be changed
part has been pre divided is done... cannot be changed

My response today is
"I know that" I said
"But this is no time for legalities
Alcoholics Anonymous,
has given me tools so I am NOT driven by
greed or a belief that money will bring me happiness
or improve my relationship with my brother
and neices, without money already I have these two things
in abundance, beyond anything I could ever have dreamed,
and AA saved my life,
I wont be the guy to land
my sobriety, my ego, my mind in Big time trouble,
and this would really do it"

Oddly enough this money comes with a price
and its simply that
I must be willing to give it all away
(it being money)
to keep it
(it being sobriety, serenity and peace of mind)
and so I shall

Gods in charge

1 comment:

Kathy Lynne said...

As a paralegal who works in estate planning and probate, you are an inspiration. And as an alcoholic you are an inspiration. Your sobriety, serenity and peace of mind are priceless. I don't really understand the details of your Mum's Will but I Hope I am where you are when the time comes. I am keeper of my Mom's person who lives in assisted living and I handle all of her affairs. It would be easy to say, I deserve more than my brothers who do not even call her. But they do what is good for them and I do what is good for me. It's all good.