Saturday, August 25, 2007

Back to Plastic and little cash - Spain here we come

A week last Thursday
I lost my wallet
I now have everything replaced
except the wallet
So life now resumes
Bcak to carrying very little cash
and purchases via plastic
have caught up with
tickets to book
travel to arrange
and am now looking
Spanish AA Convention
(Takes seconds to download PDF)
Saturday night is cabaret
All recovering alkys, no professionals!!
Then ya see what NO FEAR is!!

This will be my 3rd time
So will book it this weekend
Theres nothing like Nov/Dec
Sun, brighter light and warmth
combined with a beachfront hotel
out of season - no tourists
a wide sandy beach and the sea
to lift my spirit within

This year I plan to do the meditaion workshop
I didnt feel worthy of last year
and sat on the balcony watching and listening

Have to say, I didnt enjoy the convention last year
But I do love the long weekend away
and the opportunity to
go to meetings or not
and not feel that desperate like i used to
that if I didnt go, I was not working it!
and the pool, sand, sea, bright daylight
blue sky
I love Fuengirola out of season

I used to go every year with my ex
we had lots of drunken arguments
lots of memories
To go back sober a few years ago
was a result, I love the place now
I always had a fondness for it, drunk
but now i love it sober too

Nearly bought a place to do up out there once
in fact more than once
in the mountains, with an orange and lemon trees
the view every morning would have been
snow topped mountain
neighbours would be farmers and locals
selling fruit and produce locally

Life would have been differnt
if we had bought then
I doubt I would be sober today
We broke up before I got sober anyway
Buying a PROPERTY seemed like a good idea
it was a great idea

the reality was
another something to deal with
yeh would have some enjoyment
but would not have experienced it fully
how could I ? overstretched
too many things to deal with
when i was completely unmanageable as it was

Today, buying a property abroad
especially in Spain
doesn't seem like a fix
it is a possibility
something I would like
for the future
not yet though
much work to do here first
it doesnt fit at the moment
so i must wait

I just realised thats
2 properties
one i bought
and one I nearly bought

Tradition 6, is a major help
for me to curb my
purchases of property
a spending over £5 in money
in a dishonest attempt
to boost my ego and self esteem

Also the questions
Can I afford it ?
Am I worth it ?

is a good measure on whether
I am to buy or not buy
If there is a slight hesitation
on a yes and yes
then I generally leave it another day or two
before looking at it again

I dont count food in the above
Food is a necessity and a way of life
I am thankful that nowadays,
I can afford to buy
the organic, fresh food that I used to
and that I do buy this stuff
and eat it, not let it rot in the fridge
and have the choice to eat the odd
KFC, Krispy Kreme and Egg Custard!!

I feel blessed for this, not guilty
that I can
as i know this is not everyones experience

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