Saturday, August 20, 2005

Peaceful & Happy

Both Gifts from AA on my 2nd Anniversary

I woke up this mornings still not sure which choices to make...
Surely now at 2yrs, i can go and do what normal people do to be happy ?

The voice of truth spoke to me... You arent normal
You suffer from a GRAVE emotional & mental disorder,
do what gives you maximum peace of mind & isnt destructive to you or those around you.

Its Saturday... in my experience what gives me the most peace of mind on a Saturday?
A marathon of meetings, talking to newcomers, fellowship, sharing & listening... thats what gave me the most peace of mind on a Saturday...

So i did it again today & more !!

read step 8&9 in big book
9.45 meeting listening
Spot checked some step 10's
ate
bathed
cleaned my teeth
stripped my bed
did some laundry
internet surfed
got on the phone, to another alcoholic, got honest abt my fear abt today
spot checked some step 10's - self pity, self centred fear, arrogance, pride, dishonesty, self centredness, impatience, intolerence
accepted the seriousness of my condition
gave my Sponsor some unsolicited advice (cos i know better...)
got my attempt rejected
Got reminded to Mind My own business AGAIN
spot checked some a step10's - pride, self centredness, arrogance, intolerance
read step8&9 in big book
12noon meeting, listening & shared my gratitude, got a cake & blew a candle out, i didnt know they did cakes there.. a gift
spot checked some step10's - impatience, self centredness, pride, intolerence
2.30 meeting listening
spot checked some step10's - impatience, self centredness, pride, intolerence
shopped for food
spot checked some step 10's - impatience, self centredness
went to the library
internet surfed
got on the phone
ate again
cleaned my bathroom
1/2 washed up
changed my bed
watched 15mins tv
read step8&9 in big book
Starbucks - got assertive (not angry doormat) when he gave me wrong drink
9pm meeting listened
10.30pm meeting listening & shared
spot checked some step10's - intolerence, self centredness, pride, arrogance
meeting after meeting in cafe
Got lift home (thank you god)
just got in 1.30am its tomorrow now...
1.40am Done more laundry
(cos I know i'll be up when its done ... how maneageable is that then!!)
Blogged
Now am gonna make up my bed
Pray with thanks that i got step 10's to show me that i really do not know better.
Am grateful for all of this & that its become effortless
its 2.40am and am still going on :-)

Today I went to meetings, spoke with newcomers, listened to other people when i didnt get into shared, accepted this is exactly how its meant to be, accepted what my sponsor said aswell. Whats become of me ? I did all that in one day

What was it like ?
2 years ago, i was barely getting out of bed on a saturday (barely anything else)
16 months ago, i was getting out of bed on a saturday (+ making A meeting & moaning & Drama Queening alot)

What happened ?
I started doing what my sponsor suggested instead of what i wanted & also started on the steps.

What its like today?
Today I did what I NEEDED to NOT what i wanted to and i got the results i wanted a happy + peaceful heart & mind.

Thank you God & Alcoholics Anonymous

its 4.09am am not tired & God, give me some tiredness quick, i just has a thought of getting the iron out.... help

1 comment:

Blue said...

Congrats on two years, it's not easy but you did it... that says alot

:)