Saturday, August 20, 2005

This too shall pass

I am just where am supposed to be.

Did i expect all my difficulties & defects to disappear, just because I was about to be 2years sober ? well supposed the way I have been feeling the last few months. yes. DUH!!

Get real its quality not quantity, you can still be an ass at 2 or 20 years sober

My blogs, prove how much I need to learn more abt the AA programme.

There are no days off.

How i can always improve on how i do it, theres always an element of self will that needs to be eliminated.

I do suffer from grave emotional & mental disorders.

"Working" with another alcoholic ALWAYS lifts my self obsession.

I need to act abit faster, spare the rest of the world from johno's fear & self pity.

I am grateful for
Remembering my last drunk tonight
Not drinking today
Getting to work
Being honest today
Going to the best meeting i could find tonight
talking with all the newcomers there, even the ones that scared me
keeping it simple
not getting a resentment when I didnt get to share
being nuts with the well people today
letting the well people remind me that it HAS been a good day
turning up
doing my lousy best
finishing my list of all people I have harmed.....
being willing to make amends to them all
accepting that it says am i willing...
admitting to myself that am scared i will be the one that it dont work for
being willing to do it anyway
having a toilet that works
Chester having a great parent
Blue's BB quote for me
peoples comments on my blog over the past few weeks
being part of a fellowship thats given me more than i could ever have dreamed
other peoples patience
Yeh ok for having a sponsor that manages to kicks my ass by saying nothing
having a sponsor that tells me the ego puncturing truth about me
not sulking when i got told my behaviour isnt acceptable
doing what i have been told to do, even though its hard
having people around me that give me what I need, not what i want
me accepting that the above is whats best for me, if i want to grow up
wanting to grow up
seeing how dishonest i have been with my ex partner
seeing how i got no idea how to do people
wanting to get out of my head, end this isolation
not knowing am not out yet, but believing it just might happen...someday
accepting my sink of washing up is is no big deal
being willing to make accept my imperfect self abit
not caring how long this gratitude list is
being grateful for being grateful

You have given me so much, i need to keep coming back to be reminded where i have come from, because I forget quickly.

The only things I know for sure TODAY is that I am an alcoholic & there is a solution which works, when i work it. (and doesnt when I dont)

Great Spirit, its time, am ready to take your hand and walk with you once more, blind faith.

I just remebered the Fork :-)

2 comments:

NMAMFQLMSH said...

I am grateful you are doing a grateful list.
Peace,
JJ

Trudging said...

Great list and you are right soberity is not about time it is about steps.