Monday, August 29, 2005

Today

I am grateful for

  • Having apeace & quiet morning
  • Seeing my dad & his girlfriend dancing & singing (acting like kids) having fun
  • My dad being happy
  • Not filling the day with too much
  • Getting home ok
  • getting to a meeting
  • talking afterwards
  • talking on the phone
  • Not being too neurotic that "i missed the point entirely" on my step8 column 3
  • Accepting that other people dont understand that this process is working for me
  • Accepting that other people wont understand why i dont get a softer sponsor
  • Accepting that i am getting the results i want/need from this process
  • Accepting that i am not good at following the instructions my sponsor gives me
  • accepting that i need to journal aswell as blog
  • accepting that i dont want to put everything down in here that i feel
  • noticing my blog got left on someones pc "history" over the weekend
  • making a decision to change my rooms around
  • not making a decision today when to do it
  • having a day off tomorrow
  • getting a "reminder" what it was like being legless & negotiating a public toilet
  • being sober
  • being clean (showered)
  • having a good weekend
  • being ok with the imperfect
  • being home
  • having a washing machine at home
  • having a purpose
  • keeping on

today I took the coach home, negotiating a tiny toilet cubicle on a moving bus, which was travelling through the bumpy, streets, (ie not smooth motorways) & turning corners, pulling up at traffic lights & stopping at public crossings etc. Being in that enclosed space took me back, reminded me of being drunk, not being able to stay upright, being slammed against the side of the cubicle because i overbalanced & not being able to stand up straight to get tidy again, whilst trying not to touch anything !! and wishing the room would stop moving & i wanted out. It was horrible, powerless, especially when the light kept going off aswell. Frickinhell.

But the endurance paid off because the toilets at the meeting were out of order through lack of water.

ONCE AGAIN MY HP HAS THE STRANGEST OF SENSE OF HUMOURS
at least i have one (a higher power) & i listened to it

Rule #62 dont take yourself so damn seriously

1 comment:

doughgirl said...

Accepting that other people dont see this process working for me comes close to...my family saying I need to stay away from AA and start hanging around people without problems..HA HA HA.

Earth people are so weird sometimes ya know. There's a lot of acceptance in that list which means a lot of gratitude :)